U1: Why do you change the sence here? What about
:
Quote:
Ye Valar veiled your vast domains
with moveless pinnacles, mountains pathless,
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U3: Why is Erithámrod skipted?
Bauglir => Baugron where does that change come from?
U4: I don't think that the reference here ist to the Silmarili. Therefore I wouldn't change anythink here.
U5: Morgoth is ofcourse a fiend of Manwe, but why not the Valar in general?
U7: I would not skip the passage completle. It seems clear that the reference is to the phrophecy of the north. And treason was a doom proclaimed there in. I would skip after 'Fingolfin's son'
A1: Nice but I would put it before
U7.
A2: I would hold the passages you did skip in which Húrin denies Morgoth and is then tried with gold. After 'the wrath of the Gods roused in anger.' I would put in
A2 missing the first line,
A3 and
A4.
A5: I would again hold more of the original text and would mix it with your new verse.
Respectfully
Findegil