[Lothiriel Silmarien]

The secret love story of Sauron and Saruman:

*Sauron and Saruman are just connecting with the palantir. It's the usual time when they get in touch with each other.*

Saruman looks into his palantir, hoping to catch Sauron when he's not looking....

Sauron: Saruman! I told you don't do that! I could be not at my best....you know I have to get ready!

Saruman: Yeah, I know that's what I was hoping for...

Sauron: Saruman, your so bad!

Saruman: Sauron, how dd it go....does he know yet?

Sauron: Sshh, Saruman, no I didn't tell him yet. Keep it quiet, I don't want him knowing yet.

Saruman: Sauron! You gotta tell him! This can't go on any longer like this.

Sauron: I know, I know. It's just not the right time yet, you know. He's a very sensitive one, I can't just flat out tell him about us. He'll be too hurt. And I don't want him doing anything rash.

Saruman: You know you gotta tell him though. You can't keep putting it off like this. Tell him! Come on, tell him now!

Sauron: No, I will, wait I...

Nazgul #9: Sauron....what are you doing? Who are you talking to?

Saruman: Is he there?? Was that him?

Sauron: Shh, hold on...Yes Nazgy?

'Nazgy': Sauron, what are you doing, are you coming soon?

Sauron: I'll be there in a minute booboo. Hold on, I just gotta....um, I just gotta

'Nazgy': Is that Saruman your talking to?!

Sauron: No, it's uh....

'Nazgy': Ooh! Let me talk to him, I gotta tell him something.

Sauron: Wait, but

'Nazgy': Hey Saruman, what's up.

Saruman: Listen, I gotta tell you something.

Sauron: No don't wait!

Saruman: No...#9 listen. Me and Sauron...we...we've been seeing each other for quite a while. And we're pretty serious and all, you know.

Nazgul: What!? Sauron, is this true!???

Sauron: Wait, Nazgy hunny, I ment to tell you, I really did!

Nazgul: No, no just save it Sauron....we're through!

Sauron: Wait, but!!! Saruman, how could you!

Saruman: Oh Sauron, you knew it had to be done, I just told him first that's all. Sauron....I love you...

Sauron: What....you do?

Saruman: Yes, I do.

Sauron: Saruman I.....

*Next, on The Dead and the Useless......*