[Findegil]

This is the first draft of an expansion of the storyline-version. Our basis text is: The History of Middle-Earth; volume 4; The Shaping of Middle-Earth; chapter III: The Quenta Noldorinwa (Q30).

We have three groups of changes:

RD-zz: General changes given and discussed in the thread “**Ruin of Doriath - Pre-Revision speculation/proposal thread**”. These changes are taken up here, but they are not indicated by "editorial markers"

RD-SL-zz: Changes done to make the storyline fit our understanding developed in the Thread “**Ruin of Doriath - Pre-Revision speculation/proposal thread**”. In that thread I made the mistake to mark them with FD-SL-zz. But the numbers are identical. My apologise if that change does produce a mass now. Some numbers are missing, but that is normal since some of the points of the storyline-discussion did not produce any change in the text.

RD-EX-zz For expansions taken from some other source to make the story more detailed. This also includes some changes made in the expansion, which I marked for easier reference.

At the beginning we have to create a transition from The Wanderingas of Húrin (WH). Over all the basis text will show trough not to much I think. But we will use it as a leading guideline and any part that is exchanged for some other text should be shown. As before, I start with §266 of WH, which is the last of that text.

I have tried to stick to the §-numbering done by Maédhros for his first draft, so that a comparison between that draft #1, my own earlier Version and the current text will be easier. In addition I have numbered the § anew in brackets starting with §267 in continuation of WH and starting over again when we come to the purposed chapter break. If a § of the basic-text is deleted completely it is not numbered.

As it has some value as a double-check during my work I will give here in addition to the edited version a clean text version.

Some conventions of my writing:
Normal Text is from the basic text that is mentioned above (when I change the basic-Text it will be mentioned)
Bold Text = source information, comments and remarks
{ } = text that should be deleted
[ ] = normalised text
<source > = additions with source information
example = text inserted for grammatical reason
/ / = outline expansion
Normally if an inserted text includes the beginning of a new § these is indicated by a missing “>” at the end of the § and a missing “<” at the beginning of the next. But the source information is repeated before each §. But some times the new § was taken as an new add and handled accordingly.

Here after is given the Version for the public forum. I have ripped it of some of the textual content in many § by inerting dots instead. These dots conceal only General changes (RD-zz), all other changes are given so that they can (hopefuly) be understood.

§30 (§15) RD-EX-49 <TN Now tells the tale that the Nauglath fared home again, and if their greed had been kindled when first RD-EX-50 <editorial addition they saw> the gold{ was brought to Nogrod} now was it a fierce flame … armed against it. Now one there was{ had been}, Fangluin the aged, RD-EX-51 {who had Counselled … the Elves. Yet now}and he did{ Fangluin} jeer at them mightily on their return, saying they had flung away their labour for a botcher's wage and a draught of wine and gotten dishonour thereto, and he played upon their lust{, and Ufedhin joined his bitter words thereto}. Therefore did Naugladur<moved from above their lord> hold a secret council of the Dwarves of Nogrod, and sought how he might both be avenged upon {Tinwelint}[Thingol], and sate his greed.>

§31 (§16) RD-EX-52 <TN Yet after long pondering … could any such come thither RD-SL-20{ unaided by treachery from within}.>RD-EX-53 <TN But{and} Naugladur vowed to rest not ere {Mîm was}[his craftsman ]were thrice avenged - ‘and, more,’ said he, ‘me seems the gold belongs of right to the people of the Dwarves.’>

§33 (§17) {Therefore gathering new forces in Nogrod RD-SL-18{and in Belegost} they returned at length, RD-SL-20c {and aided by the treachery of certain Elves on whom the lust of the accursed treasure had fallen} they RD-SL-21a{passed into Doriath secretly.}} RD-EX-54 <TN This then was the design; and by his deeds have the Dwarves been severed in feud for ever since those days with the Elves, and drawn more nigh in friendship to the {kin}[following] of {Melko}[Morgoth]. Secretly he let send to {the Indrafangs}[Lord Bodruith his kin] RD-SL-18 asking<Sil77 aid from Belegost, but it was denied them, and the Dwarves of Belegost sought to dissuade them from their purpose>, because they <Unfinished Tales; Galadriel and Celeborn were filled with dismay at the calamity and fear for its outcome>{ that they} RD-EX-55 . But the Dwarves of Nogrod did prepare their host against a day that {he}[Naugladur] would name, whenso the time should be ripe; and a hidden forging of bitter steel then was in [Nogrod.]{Belegost the dwelling of the Indrafangs.}>

§34 (§18) RD-EX-56 <TN Now each year about the time of the great wolf-hunt … in the forest. Now Naugladur {learnt of that Elf Narthseg, whose name is bitter to the Eldar yet}[did know], that the king would fare a-hunting at the next high moon but one RD-EX-57 {, and straightway he sent the trysted sign, a bloodstained knife, to Bodruith at Belegost}. Now RD-EX-58 <editorial addition at that time> all that host assembled on the confines of the woods, and no word came yet unto the king.>

§36 (§19) RD-EX-59 <TN Behold now {Tinwelint}[Thingol] the king rode … great hunt aforetime>.

§37a (§20) There {they}[the dwarves] surprised Thingol upon {a}these hunt with but small company of arms and {Thingol was slain} <HoME11; The Tale of The Years{Somehow it must be}somehow they contrived it that Thingol {is}was lured outside or induced to go to war beyond his borders and {is} there {slain by the Dwarves.}> RD-SL-22 <TN the king and his company were all encircled with armed foes. Long they fought bitterly{ there} among the trees, and the Nauglath - for such were their foes - had great scathe of them or ever they were slain. Yet in the end were they all fordone, and Mablung and the king fell side by side - but Naugladur it was who swept off the head of {Tinwelint}[Thingol] after he was dead, for living he dared not so near to his bright sword or the axe of Mablung.>

§37b (§21) RD-EX-60 {Now is} But now it must be told, that when the king was far in the woods with all his company, and the horns grow faint in the deep forest, {but}did {Gwendelin}[Melian] {sits}sit in her bower and foreboding {is}was in her heart and eyes. Then said an Elfmaid, Nielthi: ‘Wherefore, O Lady, art thou … hast thou not woven great magic all about us, so that we fear not?’ But the queen made answer: ‘Yet meseems there is a editorial change{rat that gnaws the threads}thread[ is riven] and all the web has come unwoven.’ Even at that word >RD-EX-61 <Sil77 Melian sat long in silence {beside Thingol the King}[in her bower], and her thought passed back into the starlit years and to their first meeting among the nightingales of Nan Elmoth in ages past; and she knew that her parting from Thingol <editorial addition at his riding forth> was the forerunner of a greater parting, and … evils without. But now Thingol lay dead, and his spirit had passed to the halls of Mandos; and with his death a change came also upon Melian. Thus it came to pass that her power was withdrawn in that time from the forests of Neldoreth and Region, and Esgalduin the enchanted river spoke with a different voice, and Doriath lay open to its enemies>.

§38 (§22) {<HoME11; The Tale of The YearsThen Melian {departs}departed, and the girdle being removed Doriath {is}was ravaged by the Dwarves.> {, and the fortress of the Thousand Caves taken at unawares and plundered;}} RD-EX-62 <Sil77 Thus it was that the host of the Naugrim crossing over Aros passed unhindered into the woods of Doriath; and none withstood them, for they were many and fierce, and the captains of the Grey-elves were cast into doubt and despair, and went hither and thither purposeless. But the Dwarves held on their way, and >RD-EX-63 <TN there was a cry about the doors <editorial addition of the Thousand Caves>, and suddenly it grew to a fierce noise{ ...} by the clash of steel. Then went {Gwendelin}[Melian] unafraid forth from her bower, and behold, a sudden multitude of {Orcs and Indrafangs}[Nauglath] held the bridge, and there was war within the cavernous gates; but that place ran with blood, and a great heap of slain lay there, for the onset had been secret and all unknown.>

§39 (§23) RD-EX-64 <TN Then did {Gwendelin}[Melian] know well that her foreboding was true, and that {treachery}[doom] had found … tide of numbers bore them back and fire and blood found all the halls and deep ways of that great fortress of the Elves.>

§40a (§24) RD-EX-65 <TN Then did those{ Orcs and} Dwarves ransack all the chambers seeking for treasure, and lo! one came and sate him in the high seat of the king laughing loud, and{ Gwendelin saw that it was Ufedhin, and} mocking he bid {her}Melian be seated in her ancient seat beside the king's. Then {Gwendelin}[Melain] gazed upon him so that his glance fell, and she said: ‘Wherefore, O renegade, dost thou defile my lord's seat? Little had I thought to see {any of the Elves}[anyone] sit there, a robber, stained with murder, a league-fellow of the truceless enemies{ of his kin}. Or thinkest thou it is a glorious deed to assail an ill-armed house what time its lord is far away?’ But {Ufedhin}[that dwarf] said nought, shunning the bright eyes of {Gwendelin}[Melian], wherefore said she anew: ‘Get thee now gone with thy foul {Orcs}[comrades], lest {Tinwelint}[Thingol] coming repay thee bitterly.’>

§40b (§25) <TN Then at last did {Ufedhin}[the dwarf] answer, and he … ‘and whatso remains of goods or folk may the, Orcs <editorial addition of Morgoth plunder>{keep}, or slay, as they desire. Yet the Lady {Gwendelin}[Melian] Queen of {Artanor}[Doriath] shall fare with me.’ Then said {Gwendelin}[Melian]: ‘Thief and murderer, {child of Melko}[liege of Morgoth], yet art thou a fool, for thou canst not see what hangs over thine own head.’ By reason of the anguish of her heart was her sight grown very clear, and she read by her {fay}[Maia]-wisdon the curse of Mîm and much of what would yet betide.>

§40c (§26) <TN Then did Naugladur in his triumph laugh till his beard shook, and bid seize her: but none might do so, for as they came towards her they groped as if in sudden dark, or stumbled and fell tripping each the other, and {Gwendelin}[Melian] went forth from the places of her abode, and her bitter weeping filled the forest.> {and}And so was brought well nigh to ruin the glory of Doriath, and but one stronghold of the Elves against Morgoth now remained, and their twilight was nigh at hand. {RD-SL-23 But Queen Melian the Dwarves could not seize or harm, and she went forth to seek Beren and Lúthien.}

Respectfully
Findegil