View Single Post
Old 08-05-2003, 07:19 AM   #32
Kuruharan
Regal Dwarven Shade
 
Kuruharan's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jan 2002
Location: A Remote Dwarven Hold
Posts: 3,583
Kuruharan is battling Black Riders on Weathertop.Kuruharan is battling Black Riders on Weathertop.
Boots

Never in his long life had Chrysophylax been so humiliated. Here he was, a dragon of ancient and imperial lineage, tied up in a knot rolling around on the ground.

"Oooff…oi…" he panted as he struggled to untie himself.

"Wheeeezzeee, hee, hee, hee, hee, hisss, ha, ha," laughed Grrralph. He hadn’t had this much fun since he’d stuffed a Oliphaunt’s trunk into a waffle iron.

Suddenly, there came a noise that froze everyone’s hearts.

"EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!"

Grrralph turned around, expecting to see another one of his former business associates. However, there was nobody to be seen. What was there to be seen were two odd looking things, kind of like broken off tails.

"EEEEEeeeeeewwww!!!" went Pimpi.

Chrysophylax continued his struggles on the ground. However, it is not easy for a dragon, even one of ancient and imperial lineage, to untie itself. His struggles caused him to lose his balance and start rolling down the side of the hill. He started flapping desperately to try to arrest his progress. This worked, he was now rolled up on his back with his wings thumping against the ground. The half-suppressed snickering of the Gallowship did nothing to reassemble the paltry remains of his shattered dignity. Suddenly the air was rent by a hideous cry.

"EEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!"

Kuruharan and Vogonwë cowered down and covered their ears.

"That sound is worse than a Nazgul," remarked Vogonwë.

"It’s about as bad as somebody dragging their fingernails across a blackboard," agreed Kuruharan.

*THUMP* *THUMP* THUMP* went Chrysophylax’s wings against the ground.

"EEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!" came the cry again.

Merisuwyniel just looked up at the sky and wondered why she couldn’t have a normal Quest like everybody else.

It was about that moment that Chrysophylax decided to succumb to the inevitable and roll down the hill. At least he would be out of sight of the rest of the Gallowship while he untangled himself.

He stopped flapping, teetered precariously for an agonizing moment, and then went rumbling into the bushes with a mighty *CRASH* *THUD!*

Instantly the air was filled with the terrible screams, except this time there were two of them at once, and there was a certain added feverish excitement to them this time.

"EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!"

"EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!"

This time all the males in the Gallowship winced and covered their ears.

"What is that horrible noise?!!" demanded Earnur.

Suddenly Chrysophylax came surging out of the bracken and sped toward the Gallowship.

"Help, help!" he cried. "They’re after me!! They’re after me!!!"

One quick glance showed the Gallowship that somebody was indeed after Chrysophylax.

Two pubescent amphibians were charging pell-mell at Chrysophylax. "CHRYSIII!!! COME BACK!!!" they shrilled. They ran up to Chrysophylax and started bouncing up and down at his feet.

Kuruharan suddenly ran up to Chrysophylax and started whispering something to the dragon. Chrysophylax eyed the dwarf uneasily. "Go on, say it," said Kuruharan.

Chrysophylax nervously turned to the shrieking teenagers and said, "I am always glad to meet my fans!!! Autographed pictures will be only $15!"

"And that’s not all," interrupted Kuruharan, "we have all sorts of limited edition Chrysophylax memorabilia like mugs, sweatshirts, and key chains."

The fan-creatures were beside themselves with delight. They screamed something about being back in a minute and they both raced off, shrieking at the top of their voices.

"Thank goodness they’re gone," sighed Vogonwë, taking his fingers out of his ears. "Many more of those high-pitched screeches would have shattered my spine!"

"I agree," said Orogarn Two, "let’s get out of here."

"Not so fast," said Chrysophylax, who had suddenly started preening himself. "I have to keep up with my public. The fans have to be satisfied!!"

"Public?!" said Earnur. "Five seconds ago you did not even know that you had a public!"

"*Cough*…sputter…wheeze…," stammered Chrysophylax. "That is entirely beside the point. And as a matter of fact, it puts me in mind of a story about a…"

While Chrysophylax embarked on a longwinded defense of his new celebrity Kuruharan was busily manufacturing souvenirs for the fan-creatures when they returned.

"CHRYSIII!!!" came the warning peel of their arrival, with gobs of money (lifted from their parents.)

In ten minutes Amber and Heather practically beggared their families on hats, mugs, T-shirts, etc. When Chrysophylax reached down and patted them on their heads they both fainted from the excitement (although Earnur and Orogarn Two believed that they fainted from lack of oxygen due to all the screaming.)

With those matters successfully concluded the Gallowship continued on their way.

Chrysophylax was basking in the glow of his sudden fame, forgetful of his recent humiliation at the gauntlets of Grrralph. (Kuruharan was basking in the glow of his new gold pieces.)

Suddenly, a mysterious noise reached the ears of the Gallowship.

*sizzle* *sizzle* *fry* *fry*

"Oh-no, not another mysterious noise," groaned Merisuwyniel. "That plot-device is getting quite repetitive!"

*Sniff* *sniff* went Pimpi. "Mmmmm," she said. "That smells gooooood!!!"

"Indeed it does," said Earnur. "It is nice to be assailed by a pleasant aroma for a change."

"It smells…almost like…bacon…" said Kuruharan.

"That is probably because it is," said Orogarn Two. "We have entered the Bacon Hills. Here the people of Grundor hold great Bacon-Binges in times of distress and calamity. Thanks to the rampage that you people have been on this is probably one of the largest in the history of Grundor!"

"It sounds delightful," said Pimpi. "I…I…I’ll be back in a minute." With that she vanished in the trees.

"Hmm," said Chrysophylax. "Newly minted celebrity does build an appetite." He went off after Pimpi.

"I must attend to make sure that everyone recognizes my status as Hair, I mean Heir, of Grundor, and provide the people with the comfort of my presence," announced Orogarn Two before he dashed off into the woods.

"HELLO?!!" shouted Merisuwyniel. "We are supposed to be on a Quest with the fate of the world bound up in it, yet somehow we keep on getting dragged off into strange sub-plots!!!"

"Hard luck," said Kuruharan as he strolled off in the general direction of the frying.

"Well," said Earnur, "we have to eat sometime. Might as well do it now!"

"WHY CAN"T I HAVE A NORMAL QUEST LIKE EVERYBODY ELSE!!!" screamed Merisuwyniel.

[ August 05, 2003: Message edited by: Kuruharan ]
__________________
...finding a path that cannot be found, walking a road that cannot be seen, climbing a ladder that was never placed, or reading a paragraph that has no...
Kuruharan is offline