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Old 10-02-2011, 11:29 AM   #77
Aiwendil
Late Istar
 
Join Date: Mar 2001
Posts: 2,140
Aiwendil has been trapped in the Barrow!
Comments for the remainder of the chapter:

RB-SM-01: It seems to me that by adding this sentence from GA, we end up saying twice that the swarthy men came into Beleriand. I do see that the GA passage gives a more detailed picture of their movements and also adds the detail that the Dwarves had told Maedhros of their approach, but I think these could be worked in without the redundancy:

Quote:
§150 . . . And it is said that at this time the Swarthy Men came first {into Beleriand;} <GAout of Eriador, and passing north about the Eryd Luin entered into Lothlann. Their coming was not wholly unlookedfor, since the Dwarves had warned {Maidros}[Maešros] that hosts of Men out of the further East were journeying towards Beleriand.> [A]nd some were already secretly under the dominion of Morgoth, and came at his call; but not all . . .
RB-SM-05: There is another slight redundancy here in that QS has already stated that some of the Swarthy Men were already in league with Morgoth. But here it is not so easy to simply take the extra details from GA and add them to the passage in QS, since the GA statement refers to the folk of Bor and Ulfang, who are not introduced in QS until the following paragraph. I suppose the redundancy is slight enough that we might let it stand. Another solution might be to follow GA version I and put the whole statement in the footnote instead of just the second half of it as in version II.

RB-SM-06: In QS, the statement that the people of Haleth 'dwelt to the southward in the woods by Sirion' explains their not being involved in the northern war initially. With our change here, it instead (purportedly) explains why they had little contact with the Easterlings. The thing is, it really doesn't explain that at all, since Brethil is not really any further south than the area in eastern Beleriand where the Easterlings settled. We could probably get away with just changing 'southward' to 'westward'. Also, I think that since this now forms the end of the section instead of leading into the account of the battle in Brethil, we should combine it with the previous sentence:

Quote:
There was small love between the Three Houses and the Swarthy Men; and they met seldom. For the newcomers abode long in East Beleriand; but the people of Hador were shut in Hithlum, and Bėor's house was well nigh destroyed{.}[;] {Yet}and RB-SM-06 {Haleth and his men}<LQ2 the People of Haleth> {remained still free; for they had been at first untouched by the northern war, since they} dwelt to the {southward}[eastward] in the woods by Sirion.
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