My day with a misunderstood Balrog, and exclusvie interview by Gil-Galad
Gil-Galad: We have here today one Johnny the Stinky Balrog, now mr.balrog, how did you come by this name?
Johnny: well when i was a kid, there was this tar pit near by filled with all these things that fell into it from above, my mommy always told me not to go near but i was hungry... and i fell in...and i basically never got the stench out
GG: terrible, so now you wander around Middle-Earth *looks at paper* helping strangers with their problems and rasing a Penguin army.
JB: ah yes, i mainly travel around now, setting fire to this and eating that guys horse, but i often enjoy sailing
GG: oh really? how does a Balrog sail?
JB:by not telling the crew theres a Balrog onboard! ha ha ha!
GG: Hilaurious, now Mr.Joh-
JB:hey can you get some special effect guy to make a picture of that?
GG: we can try, but now Johnny, about this latest thing, where you burned down a local make-up store because of being turned down by a lady, do you care to explain?
JB: well it wan't one of my proud moments... but she broke my heart and now i'm miserable...er...but thats the past
GG:indeed...do you have any plans for the future?
JB: of course i do and thanks for asking, i will plan on joining a wandering minstrel group and see how that works out...Lovely Spam...
GG: excuse me? did you just say lovely spam?
JB: maybe...maybe...no *eats spider*
GG:woah... now did you just eat that spider?
JB: i have no idea at what your talking about
GG: you just ate that spider!
JB:i did not
GG: i swear i just saw you eat that spider!
JB:i did not, now if you continue this rabling i might as well just leave
GG: your the one rambling! you ate that spider!
JB:i did not... wait... didn't you get killed off or something?
GG:...no now i think thats all the time we have
JB: hey yeah you did get killed off!
GG: hey look an eagle! *runs off*
After report: i never heard from him again, he was an interesting fellow and i would love to do more interviews of certain downers if one Goomba that may or may not have a bill that may or may not be hooked allows me to. Tune into more of my awesomeness and a PM may be coming to you soon!
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Love doesn't blow up and get killed.
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