A thread all to Gothmog. - The Barrow-Downs Discussion Forum

Boromir88 · 09-02-2005, 07:00 PM

A thought that came to me, inspired by Enca, and now I finally decided to do it. How about we make a thread to Gothmog (not the nazgul) but the Pink, gimp, bubbly guy.

Anyway, the point of this thread is to first see how many downers out there appreciate Mr. Gimp and then to delve into theories of what the heck happened to this....thing? How did he get the way he was?

Ok, so, my own personal belief, and what I've always said is Gothmog was smacked with a waffler a couple times. Makes sense, I think? There may have been a toaster thrown at him a couple times too, but I'm not sure.

So, what interesting theories can you come up with on how Gothmog got so....Gothmoggish?

Either this is the most brilliant idea I've ever come up with, or the dumbest, only time will tell.

Formendacil · 09-02-2005, 07:21 PM

It's hilarious, whatever else it may be as an idea...

Personally, as a not-fan of the bubbly Gothmog, I must say that finding a suitably messed-up explanation of his messed-up-ness is not a task I mind in the least. So, my idea:

Gothmog began his career in the Mordorian armies as a Grade II Snaga posted to Nurnen, which, as we all know, was the bread basket of Mordor, and thus full of lush foods unable to be found elsewhere. SnagaMog soon developed a taste for the abundant food- a big no-no in the Mordorian Ranks.

When found out, as he soon was, weighing, as he did, twenty pounds more than the next ork (a runt by the name of Grishnakh, incidentally), he was sentenced to a the nasty task of running an important message from Fort Schnuckalls to Fort Albadork- which took him right through rockslide country in mating season (rockslide mating, not Ork-mating. As everybody knows, Orks come in one gender).

It was during this trek that SnagaMog became adept at boulder-dodging, a talent that was to serve him well during the Siege of Gondor. A pity that he didn't learn Rohirrim-dodging while he was at it. In any event, SnagaMog reached Fort Albadork completely unscathed, to the fury of his superiors. In retribution, he was sent through another "avalanche", but this time he had to run the gamut of Fort Albadork's walls, while his comrades through "ork-made" boulders at him. These boulders were not rocks, but the most bizarre collection of ork-made boulders Mordor had ever seen. Jagged, sharp, oblong, and heavy, SnagaMog was unable to dodge these, thrown and aimed as they were by living and breathing, if not exactly intelligent, orks.

Obviously, he survived, and to spite his officers he worked his way up through the ranks, ultimately becoming THEIR superior, and exacting his revenge by putting them on the front lines against any sort of Good-Guy charge- a task of near-certain death. He never lost his love of food, and so his scarred face became even more disfigured as folds of fat closed in around the portions of his scars that were still sewn to his skull.

Gurthang · 09-02-2005, 08:50 PM

How Gothmog became himself.

Well, once upon a time there was this orc. And this orc was named Morgan. But only his best friend knew he even had a name. He and his best friend were inseperable. But then one day they were out in the hills when an earthquake hit. The two little orcs were very terrified and didn't know what to do....

(Continued later; sorry, got to run.

)

the guy who be short · 09-03-2005, 04:06 AM

I always imagined he was born that way. After all, anybody not aesthetically pleasing has just got to be evil, and he's the least aesthetically pleasing bloke in Middle-Earth.

Alcarillo · 09-03-2005, 12:50 PM

There was obviously an ulterior motive for Gothmog to co-lead the attack on Minas Tirith. He was looking for a good plastic surgeon to get rid of the whatever was covering his head. All the ones in Mordor are the lazy sort who leave surgical tools inside you and end up on the news for malpractice.

Mithalwen · 09-03-2005, 01:06 PM

Gothmog was an opposition leader in the Ukraine............

Glirdan · 09-03-2005, 01:10 PM

One morning, Gothmog was ironing his best suit (he had an interview with Sauron that afternoon for a job placement to lead the army to the assault on Minas Tirith) when the phone rang. And, instead of picking up the phone, he picked up the iron and slamed it into his face, thinking it was the phone. Poor,poor (stupid) Gothmog.

09-02-2005, 07:00 PM	#1
Boromir88 Laconic Loreman Join Date: Feb 2004 Location: USA Posts: 7,507	A thread all to Gothmog. A thought that came to me, inspired by Enca, and now I finally decided to do it. How about we make a thread to Gothmog (not the nazgul) but the Pink, gimp, bubbly guy. Anyway, the point of this thread is to first see how many downers out there appreciate Mr. Gimp and then to delve into theories of what the heck happened to this....thing? How did he get the way he was? Ok, so, my own personal belief, and what I've always said is Gothmog was smacked with a waffler a couple times. Makes sense, I think? There may have been a toaster thrown at him a couple times too, but I'm not sure. So, what interesting theories can you come up with on how Gothmog got so....Gothmoggish? Either this is the most brilliant idea I've ever come up with, or the dumbest, only time will tell. __________________ Fenris Penguin

09-02-2005, 07:21 PM	#2
Formendacil Dead Serious Join Date: Jan 2005 Location: Perched on Thangorodrim's towers. Posts: 3,311	It's hilarious, whatever else it may be as an idea... Personally, as a not-fan of the bubbly Gothmog, I must say that finding a suitably messed-up explanation of his messed-up-ness is not a task I mind in the least. So, my idea: Gothmog began his career in the Mordorian armies as a Grade II Snaga posted to Nurnen, which, as we all know, was the bread basket of Mordor, and thus full of lush foods unable to be found elsewhere. SnagaMog soon developed a taste for the abundant food- a big no-no in the Mordorian Ranks. When found out, as he soon was, weighing, as he did, twenty pounds more than the next ork (a runt by the name of Grishnakh, incidentally), he was sentenced to a the nasty task of running an important message from Fort Schnuckalls to Fort Albadork- which took him right through rockslide country in mating season (rockslide mating, not Ork-mating. As everybody knows, Orks come in one gender). It was during this trek that SnagaMog became adept at boulder-dodging, a talent that was to serve him well during the Siege of Gondor. A pity that he didn't learn Rohirrim-dodging while he was at it. In any event, SnagaMog reached Fort Albadork completely unscathed, to the fury of his superiors. In retribution, he was sent through another "avalanche", but this time he had to run the gamut of Fort Albadork's walls, while his comrades through "ork-made" boulders at him. These boulders were not rocks, but the most bizarre collection of ork-made boulders Mordor had ever seen. Jagged, sharp, oblong, and heavy, SnagaMog was unable to dodge these, thrown and aimed as they were by living and breathing, if not exactly intelligent, orks. Obviously, he survived, and to spite his officers he worked his way up through the ranks, ultimately becoming THEIR superior, and exacting his revenge by putting them on the front lines against any sort of Good-Guy charge- a task of near-certain death. He never lost his love of food, and so his scarred face became even more disfigured as folds of fat closed in around the portions of his scars that were still sewn to his skull. __________________ I prefer history, true or feigned.

09-02-2005, 08:50 PM	#3
Gurthang Sword of Spirit Join Date: Aug 2003 Location: Oh, I'm around. Posts: 1,401	How Gothmog became himself. Well, once upon a time there was this orc. And this orc was named Morgan. But only his best friend knew he even had a name. He and his best friend were inseperable. But then one day they were out in the hills when an earthquake hit. The two little orcs were very terrified and didn't know what to do.... (Continued later; sorry, got to run. ) __________________ I'm on a Mission from God.

09-03-2005, 01:06 PM	#6
Mithalwen Pilgrim Soul Join Date: May 2004 Location: watching the wonga-wonga birds circle... Posts: 9,449	Gothmog was an opposition leader in the Ukraine............ __________________ “But Finrod walks with Finarfin his father beneath the trees in Eldamar.” Christopher Tolkien, Requiescat in pace

09-03-2005, 01:10 PM	#7
Glirdan Energetic Essence Join Date: Feb 2005 Location: Where Lark Nor Eagle Ever Flew Posts: 3,285	One morning, Gothmog was ironing his best suit (he had an interview with Sauron that afternoon for a job placement to lead the army to the assault on Minas Tirith) when the phone rang. And, instead of picking up the phone, he picked up the iron and slamed it into his face, thinking it was the phone. Poor,poor (stupid) Gothmog. __________________ *I'm going to buy you a kitty, I'm going to let you fall in love with the kitty, and one cold, winter night, I'm going to steal into your house and punch you in the face!* Fenris Wolf

09-03-2005, 04:06 AM	#4
the guy who be short Shadowed Prince Join Date: Jan 2003 Location: Thulcandra Posts: 2,343	I always imagined he was born that way. After all, anybody not aesthetically pleasing has just got to be evil, and he's the least aesthetically pleasing bloke in Middle-Earth.

09-03-2005, 12:50 PM	#5
Alcarillo Shadow of the Past Join Date: Jul 2005 Location: Minas Mor-go Posts: 1,007	There was obviously an ulterior motive for Gothmog to co-lead the attack on Minas Tirith. He was looking for a good plastic surgeon to get rid of the whatever was covering his head. All the ones in Mordor are the lazy sort who leave surgical tools inside you and end up on the news for malpractice.