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Old 09-06-2005, 06:38 PM   #1
Valesse
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Good eats at Mount Doom: Cafe and Bristo.

Its some what awkward to admit it (to the general public, though I wouldn't call y'all folks general, generally, or pe--...well, nevermind ) but one of my biggest, if not the strangest goals in life is to make a Lord of the Rings themed restaurant. At first, like all things, it started as a joke. A restaurant which would be ran by costumed waiters and waitresses-- preferibly orkish, for atmosphere, and the menu divided, not by what was on the plate, but, rather, what race was more likely to be eatting it.

So started the monstrosity that is "Mount Doom: Cafe and Bristo"

So, after all that introduction, the meaning of this thread? Alas, I know some of the downers disgust in them, but a discriptive list-thread is what I had in mind of some scarf-worthy (or scoff-worthy) dishes you might find were you to travel into Middle Earth. If you're like me and from Houston (or any other city with a LotRs based restaurant already), please don't post orders from the Hobbit Cafe that REALLY exisit like "a Frodo, thin... everything on the side with a large portion of carrots." (my favorite order, by the way.) This is all meant for giggles.

I'll get the ball rolling:

The Ribs of Moria A full rack of ribs, cooked to perfection with as much sauce as your gravy boats can hold, not that you'd need it! With the meat falling right off the bone and into your awaiting, slavering mouth. You're warned to be careful when eatting, however, the source of the meat is in question, but since we've started serving these the Moria orc populations has halved itself!
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Last edited by Valesse; 09-06-2005 at 09:18 PM.
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Old 09-06-2005, 06:50 PM   #2
Beanamir of Gondor
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Eye

One of the most popular side dishes, naturally, would be
Samwise's Taters: mashed, boiled, or stewed however you like them.
And of course the appetizers offered would include
Hot Wings, Balrog-style: no one is really sure if they exist, so these crispy, crunchy critters may not necessarily come from real Balrogs--but they sure taste good when seasoned with some Rock of the Hornburg Salt!
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Old 09-06-2005, 09:37 PM   #3
Kitanna
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From the drink list...
Pippin's Half Pint Ale: Coming from the private brewery of everyone's favorite Fool of a Took, it's Pippin's Half Pint Ale. A delightful, frothy ale that leaves the drinker totally refreshed.
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Old 09-06-2005, 09:48 PM   #4
The Perky Ent
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Hobbit hole cafe

3 words. Hobbit...Hole...Cafe...

A news article

Yet another review

Another review

Another group of reviews

I go every time i'm in houston! I just ate their two days ago. Got the Smaug's Delight. It was great. Good food, veggie friendly, tons of LOTR memorability. A must see if you go to houston. I'll post the menu if i have enogh time

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Old 09-07-2005, 02:59 AM   #5
The Saucepan Man
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Boots Barbequed Burrahobbit

A whole Burrahobbit wrapped in a sack and roasted over an open fire for you at your table by our specialist chef, Monsieur Guillaume Huggins.

Please note that Roast Burrahobbit is subject to availability. When not available, it’s mutton yesterday, mutton today, and blimey, if it don't look like mutton again tomorrer.
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Old 09-07-2005, 10:29 AM   #6
Dimcollowen
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Gimli's Salted Pork: a tasty helping of pork cooked to perfection, and salted. *All salted porks come from Isengaurd*

Ent water: Its just that folks...Ent water, it comes from the mysterious river in Fangorn
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