Everything I need to know I learned from LOTR

[Esgallhugwen]

Always look up from time to time, you never know when something could come plummeting down on your head. ei: apples, rocks, spiders, nazgul, etc.
(maybe I should follow that advice)

Everyone should have a friend like Sam, and stay clear of people who hiss at you like Gollum

If your father likes to play with matches a little too much I suggest backing a safe ways away then running for your life.

Its never too late in the day to get clobbered by a troll.

An Oliphaunt is far too large of a pet to have, what with their ability to devastate everything within sight, and think of the mess you'd have to clean up in their potty spot