Survivor: The Second Age

[The Saucepan Man]

I have decided to propose an alternative candidate.

Imagine the scene. Cirdan the Shipwright is sat with his feet up by the fire in his house in Alqualondë, his great-great-great-great-grandchildren on his knee.

“Great-great-great-great-grandsire, what did you do in the First Age?”

“Looked after the harbour, built some ships, avoided battles.”

“And what did you do in the Second Age?”

“Er - looked after the harbour, built some ships, avoided battles.”

“And what did you do in the Third Age?”

“Um - looked after the harbour, built some ships, avoided battles …”

*silence*

“Oh, and I gave Olorin a Ring of Power.”

“Cool. Why?”

“So I didn’t have to get involved.”

“Oh! Anything else?”

“Yes. I grew a beard.”

“And what did you do in the Fourth Age?”

“Finished looking after the harbour, built a ship, sailed West.”

“Man, great-great-great-great-grandsire, you’re a loser.”

+ + CIRDAN

And before anyone starts shouting "Elf-Hater"", the Sindar remain one of the two strongest tribes. I would like to even things out and my heart has been moved by the strong feelings that many have shown for Celeborn. Indeed, I find it within mysef to feel a little sympathy for the poor emasculated, hen-pecked fellow.