Through my mad Webtrawling skillz I discovered
this site, which allows one to fill out some limited form correspondence. Seeing it implemented in other fandoms, I immediately thought of various Tolkien characters using this method to express their desires, regrets, etc. With that in mind, please accept these humble submissions to the realm of Mirth and, if the notion please you, continue in the tradition by submitting your own. Canonical errors are mine; errors in humor are the reader's.
And for a different plotline: