LOTR Survivor

[Anguirel]

Excellent. Saucie has fallen into an elephant trap.

Look at him. The cold-blooded satirist, the one who goes on about Survivor having to be good telly, and all that jazz, the one who, when necessary, claims that LOTR itself is a pack of lies.

In his hour of ascendancy, my friendies, Saucie toppled Samwise and Frodo, (with my help, I don't deny) calling Sam corrupt and Frodo a wimp. He it was who led the culling of Elves in the post-Celeborn rush, such as the fey but immensely watchable Thranduil, and the venerable Cirdan.

He it was who tore down Faramir, sensitive poet and pacifist, calling him a bloodstained brigand and extortioner on the scale of King John. He it was who tried to defend Grishnakh over Eomer. He it was who used risible and contradictory arguments to discredit Eomer and Eowyn, gabbling every needle-point he could; one moment saying they didn't make good footage, another that they were goodie-goodies, another that they were "jocks".

Now this steely politician shows his heart-and, citizens of the Downs, I entreat to stab into it. Strike the blow against Pippin, whether you wish to avenge Sam, Frodo, Celeborn, Aragorn, Faramir, Eomer, or Eowyn. It all amounts to the same thing.

This Machiavellian cynic had no mercy for your favourite characters, Downers. Let him receive none!

--MERRY, ++PIPPIN

PS Saucie, don't try and defend Pippin with quotations from the books. We know it's all made up; Pippin spent the War of the Ring at home regularly attempting to murder his father...