Beren and Lúthien - Changes needed

[Elvellon]

Hey Findegil,

I was reading the working doc, and came across this bit:

A vault of topless trees it seemed, {995}
whose trunks of carven stone there stood
like towers of an enchanted wood [1240]
in {magic }fast[ craft] for ever bound,
bearing a roof whose branches wound
in endless tracery of green {1000}
lit by some leaf-emprisoned sheen
of moon and sun, and wrought of gems, [1245]
and each leaf hung on golden stems.

I couldn't find here, or in the private forum, any discussion about the change to line 1241 – unless I missed it, of course!

I don't think the new line "in fast craft for ever bound," works. For one, the Lay is in iambic tetrameter (not uniformly, but close), but this line is now short one syllable. For another, it throws off the stresses. And lastly, here "fast" doesn’t mean “rapid; quick”, but "firm; secure" – as in “fastened.” So, it’s not fast craft, it’s trunks fastened by craft.

Long story short, I think this would work better, both in preserving the stresses and the meaning:

A vault of topless trees it seemed,
whose trunks of carven stone there stood
like towers of an enchanted wood [1240]
{in magic} [in craft were] fast for ever bound,
bearing a roof whose branches wound
in endless tracery of green {1000}
lit by some leaf-emprisoned sheen
of moon and sun, and wrought of gems, [1245]
and each leaf hung on golden stems.

If you're against adding "were," then I think that at the very least, the line should be "in craft fast forever bound" to preserve the meaning of fast.

Edit:

BL-RG-08.5: I agree with Aiwendil that it would be nice to keep these lines. What about...

There countless torches fitfully
did start and twinkle{,} BL-RG-08.5 {as the Gnomes}[with a spark]
{were}[as Noldor] gathered {to their fading homes}[in the dark],
and thronged the long and winding stair
that led to the wide echoing square.