New Movie Script

[Oddwen]

*the nine come out of their hiding places*
Gandalf *grandly*: Spies of Saruman! We are being watched!

Aragorn: No duh!

Gandy: We must take the paths of Caradhras!

*fancy camera zoom-in and ultra-dramatic music plays*

*Frodo struggles bravely up the hill. Boromir randomly sticks his foot out and trips him. The poor hobbit tumbles down the hill, turning into a giant snowball as he goes and takes Aragorn out*

Aragorn: Stupid fat hobbit! Watch where you're going!

Frodo *digging furiously*: I can't find the Ring! Help help!

*the nine spend all day looking for it*

Leggy: It's hopeless! We are doomed! Alas! *sob*

Fro: Oh, wait! Here it is! It was around my neck all the time! Heh heh, strange chances of the world, eh?

*Boromir thumps him soundly on the head. The rest of the nine ignore him for some hours. They continue upward*

*Unfortunately, the snow seems to grow wilder the higher they get. The eight are annoyed to see that the Elf can walk upon the snow*

Leggy: Pbbbllttt!!

Aragorn (shaking his fist): I'll get you, elf, if it's the last thing I do!

Frodo: You dropped me...again!

Leggy (who has walked ahead): There is a fell voice on the air!

Gandalf: What fell on your hair?

Leggy: No, an evil sounding voice!

Boromir: An anvil fell upon your hair?

Leggy: No! Something evil this way comes!

Gandy: What?

Leggy: IT IS SARUMAAAAAN!!!!

*A flyover of Orthanc. Saruman is standing atop the tower tapdancing and singing opera, which is very hard to do, needless to say. Once again with the fellowship, lightning suddenly strikes the overhanging snowbank above their heads and sends it tumbling down*

All: AAHHHHmMMppphh!

The end.

Next scene...fanclub credits.

[ July 21, 2003: Message edited by: Oddwen ]