You know you're obsessed with LOTR when ...

[Tinuviel of Denton]

Or when someone mentions Santa's Elves...
THEY'RE GNOMES, DANG IT!

I'll go you one better. I give them a whole lecture on the difference between "Elves" and "elfs." You see, Elves are noble, wise, fair, tall, and they do not make toys or cookies. They do not dress like clowns, and they are immortal. Elves often have a sort of magic (though not precisely magic persay in Tolkien), they do not act like fools, and they are REAL!!! Elfs, on the other hand, are creatures with no fashion sense whatsoever, they often do make toys or cookies, i.e. Santa's elfs or the Keebler elfs, and, frankly, they do not exist. They are but figments of some poor deranged soul's imagination.