Mad Libs

[Nevfeniel]

Yes, I know, I'm the only one keeping this thread alive. Go me. Woohoo. Whatever. Anyhoo!
The Choices of Master Samwise

Laying hold of the house plant with his left hand, Sam swung it up, and down it came with a whistling crack on Gollum's outstretched ankle, just below the corotid artery.

With a squeal Gollum let go. Then Sam waded in; not waiting to change the house plant from left to right he dealt another boring blow. Quick as a dinosaur Gollum slithered aside, and the stroke aimed at his esophagus fell across his phalange. The house plant cracked and broke. That was enough for him. smiling from behind was an old game of his, and seldom had he failed in it. But this time, misled by happiness, he had made the mistake of watching and walking before he had both toes on his victim's neck. Everything had gone wrong with his beautiful plan, since that horrible light bulb had suddenly appeared in the darkness. And now he was face to face with a furious enemy, little less than his own size. This fight was not for him. Sam swept up his tape from the ground and raised it. Gollum squealed and springing aside on all fours, he jumped away in one big bound like a platypus. Before Sam could reach him, he was off, sniffing with amazing speed back towards the tunnel.

By the way, the lightbulb in the darkness was a complete accident!