Middle Earth Answering Machine Messages

[VanimaEdhel]

Glorfindel: Suilannon! As you can see, I'm not in now. I'm probably out saving a hobbi- *Glorfindel screams, and then Arwen's voice cuts in*: Hahahaha! Not so fast, Glorfy! This is my show! Yoyoyo, 'sup? I'm Arwen, daughter of Steven Tyler...erm...I mean Elrond! Leave a message after you hear the Aerosmith music...erm...I mean the windchimes! *"Dude Looks Like a Lady" plays followed by "Janie's Got a Gun"*

Arwen's own before she married Aragorn: Hello! You have reached Arwen Undomiel, daughter of Lord Elrond of Rivendell, the last Homely House! If you are Glorfindel, hang up, I don't want to hear it! I can't help it if Peter Jackson cut you! Do you think that I would have done the movie, had I had a smaller part? I think not! And, if you're Aragorn, you're not supposed to be calling...Daddy'll be mad...and yes: I will be coming with you to the picnic on Sunday! But shhhhh: don't tell Daddy! He'd flip! *"Walk this Way" begins to play*

Legolas: Ai! Ai! You have reached the home of Legolas Thranduillion! If you are a Dwarf, hang up! If you want to call me a girl, call J.R.R. Tolkien! He'll have some fierce words to say to you! Mmm-hmmm: you'll be in trou...BLE! He loved me! He always spoke of that I was nearly as tall as a tree and stuh-rong! So don't mess! And...if you do...well...I'll call my daddy...I mean...then shoot you! Big meanie-heads! *windchime sound*

Elrond: Aragorn! Stop calling! No! You cannot marry my daughter! Any humans for that matter! You know why? Because humans...are a disease...and we...are the cure...isn't that right, Misssssster Andersssson? *beep!*

Gandalf: You...shall not...pass! *beep!*