What (thankfully) didn't happen in LOTR

[elengil]

Saruman:

I never wanted to be a wizard anyway! Mummy made me do it. I wanted... I wanted to.. to be.. a... lumberjack! Leaping from tree to tree! As they float down the mighty rivers
of Gondor! With my best girl by my side! (In steps Eowyn)
The Giant Redwood tree!
The Houron!
The Ent!
The Mallyrn!
We'd sing! Sing! Sing!

Oh, I'm a lumberjack, and I'm okay,
I sleep all night and I work all day.

CHORUS (Orcs): He's a lumberjack, and he's okay,
He sleeps all night and he works all day.

S: I cut down trees, I eat my lunch,
I go to the lavatree.
On Wednesdays I go shoppin'
And have buttered scones for tea.

Orcs: He cuts down trees, he eats his lunch,
He goes to the lavatree.
On Wednesdays he goes shoppin'
And has buttered scones for tea.

CHORUS

S: I cut down trees, I skip and jump,
I like to press wild flowers.
I put on women's clothing,
And hang around in bars.

Orcs: He cuts down trees, he skips and jumps,
He likes to press wild flowers.
He puts on women's clothing
And hangs around.... In bars???????

CHORUS

S: I chop down trees, I wear high heels,
Suspenders and a bra.
I wish I'd been a girlie
Just like my dear papa.

Orcs: He cuts down trees, he wears high heels
Suspenders and a .... a Bra????
(Orcs break off song, and begin insulting Saruman)

Eowyn: (crying) Oh Saruman!! And I thought you were so butch!

[ September 23, 2002: Message edited by: elengil ]