If LotR had been written by someone else!?

[Lostgaeriel]

The Lord of the Rings— as originally written by J.R.R. Tolkien but with random scribblings by Douglas Adams added to the professor’s manuscript:

GANDALF: This is the Master-ring, the One Ring to rule them all. This is the One Ring that he lost many ages ago, to the great weakening of his power. He greatly desires it – but he must not get it.
FRODO: This ring! How, how on earth did it come to me?
GANDALF: Ah! That is a very long story. The beginnings lie back in the Black Years, which only the lore-masters now remember. If I were to tell you all that tale, we should still be sitting here when Spring had passed into Winter.
But last night I told you of Sauron the Great, the Dark Lord. The rumours that you have heard are true: he has indeed arisen again and left his hold in Mirkwood and returned to his ancient fastness in the Dark Tower of Mordor. That name even you hobbits have heard of, like a shadow on the borders of old stories. Always after a defeat and a respite, the Shadow takes another shape and grows again.
FRODO: I wish it need not have happened in my time.
GANDALF: So do I, and so do all who live to see such times. But it is not for them to decide. All we have to decide is what to do with the time that is given us. And already, Frodo, our time is beginning to look black. Ah, well. Time is an illusion. Lunchtime doubly so. Drink up; the world is about to end.

[ October 18, 2002: Message edited by: Lostgaeriel ]