Crimes Against Tolkienity

[Eurytus]

Ah yes, the Bakshi version. Obviously superior. Let’s see how….<P>The intro, superb especially the depiction of Sauron as one of the Knights who say “Ni”.<P>Gandalf seems to like throwing rings into fires and quoting poetry. He never actually reads the fiery letters.<P>Sam has apparently been eavesdropping (in the middle of a field!) because they have been talking about Elves and he loves Elves. Only one problem, they haven’t been talking about Elves at all.<P>Saruman seemingly having his name changed to Aruman for the majority of the movie.<P>The depiction of Elves. ***? How big are their eyes. And what’s with the 70’s porn star hair? I guess with female elves looking like female 70's porn stars you could call this consistency.<P>Aragorn, the mini-skirt wearing Native American, explains at the Council of Elrond that he is the descendant of Elendil. Although since Elendil has never previously been mentioned we are none the wiser about what this actually means.<P>The Balrog?!?!<P>Pronouncing Celeborn as Keleborn.<P>The inexplicable battle between the Rohirrim and the Orcs. Both sides line up and stand there for a while. Then 1 rider rides down between the sides and shoots one orc. The rest of the orcs cheer the rider? A lot of time passes. Eventually the orcs manage to pull one rider of his horse and this sends the rest of the riders into berserker mode.<P>Why does Eowyn look like the Wicked Witch from Snow White?<P>Magic ball lightening at Helm’s Deep. Nuff said.<P>Frodo’s big “the burden is heavy scene”. What does Sam do? Get up and start whistling of course!<P>Helm’s Deep.<BR>Love the way the orcs all retreat solely on the basis of a horn being blown. Before they even see the riders emerge. <P>Gandalf’s ludicrously bloody slaying of the orcs. Right in your face and in slow motion too!<P>Of course perhaps the biggest difference between Bakshi’s LOTR and Jackson’s is that PJ actually made a movie that people actually WANT to watch. Not something that was basically ignored after release.