Everything I need to know I learned from LOTR

[Gilwen]

Pale people are always evil.

Hmmmnn. I was thinking the opposite.

~Tan is not always good.(think Luthien)
*random thought* "My, that does look strange without the little accent-thingy."

~Hairy feet and large ears are something to be proud of.

~It's not an elephant. It's an Oliphaunt.

[Miriel Undomiel]

If you're ever just about to be killed, talk to your best friend about your girl back home and you'll pull through.

Hmm... I always thought it was the other way around... In every war-movie ever made, at some point in the movie before the big battle and all the killing, some unimportant guy will show the important guy a picture of his wife/girlfriend (maybe even a kid) and tell him that he is getting retired after the battle *looong sentence*. Then the unimportant guy dies...

Get the point?

my version:

* If you're just about to be killed in a battle, don't talk to anyone about your girlfriend!

[Feanor of the Peredhil]

Mwhahahahaha. Excellent. To add more...

If you look sufficiently miserable, you can scare anyone. (think Lobelia)

It's *never* a good idea to sing about ending and failing in evil forests.

If you need a horse, just borrow an Elf's. Nobody will care.

Passwords are always painfully obvious.

In a country full of blondes, if you have pasty skin and dark hair, you are *guaranteed* to be the bad guy.

When retreating in battle, it's not a smart idea to run into a forest that wasn't there but hours before.

If you lie about your identity, you won't end up with the man of your dreams, but you WILL meet someone even better.

That's all for now... gotta go learn a little Greek.

Fea

[Morai]

Here's some more important lessons:

1) Never harass the King's neice until you have him under a spell and exiled her brother.

2) Never pick a fight with an extremely old and tall man with a "walking stick"

[Lhundulinwen]

Always respect someone who threatens to blow your door down and out the other side of your hobbit hole.
When big scarry guys take over your hometown, you being the hero, set out that battle.
All inn keepers aren't exceptionally bright.
Avoid intoxicating drinks when trying to hide identity.

[Morai]

1) Who says bathing is a good thing? Stay away from the water, especially if your favorite ring/necklace is about to pull you in, and a giant eye is staring back at you.

2) If you don't want to put up the christmas lights yourself, just have a hobbit do it.

[Esgallhugwen]

lets see I think I might only have one or two for now.

1) Always have a good loyal friend around, you never know when you'll need them to pull you up from a fiery casm.
2) Lembas, although a lovely Elvish snack, can be very dry and can make you choke.
3) Horses are very affectionate (when Brego kneeled down for Aragorn) except when their dead and lying on top of you (Snowmane on Theoden)
4) Never underestimate the power of a half dazed, dehydrated, half dead Hobbit

ok 4 thats good enough for now!