The Hills of Evendim Planning/Discussion Thread

[Elora]

Esgallhugwen , appreciate your patience.

Alatariel, when I said everybody, I meant to include everyone who posted to this RP. I hold your contributions in no lesser light. Of that you can be assured. Now hand me back that mud you were making your name out of. I need to build a mud wall to defend myself from the barrage!




Forgive me if my last 2 posts seem to add nothing by way of forward momentum. I am loathe to sail in and forward things along - it would smack of rudeness and arrogance for me to do so.

I gather that events will go now to Bree, where a report on the events of Eodwine's rescue shall be made.

Will the tale beyond that also be told in this RP - such as the escort with Lira's body?

Just idle questions rattling around, rather loney, in the drafty space my brain once inhabited (if scientist interpretation of fossilised evidence can be held as reliable and accurate).

My 2 cents, worth really 1.4 US cents roughly, is that events following on from Bree may well fall outside of the scope of this RP, particularly if time pressure to wrap it up is being felt. If not, and people are willing, the post Bree report "chapter" could continue on in this RP.

What do the rest of you fine folk think?

[Esgallhugwen]

Please people I would love for you to look over my two laments and say which one you'd prefer more, and any lines that should be revised, changed, or added in any way so I can get on the translation, I'm afraid I might not have any time to do so on Saturday because of my grad.

It would be greatly appreciated to hear what you think or if you think its best to drop the whole idea.

Eternally,
Esgallhugwen

[Imladris]

*smacks head* Forgive me, Eswen, for not getting back to you. I was thinking about it and it....sort of slipped my mind.

I prefer the first one. It has lots of elvish themes to it. Not crits at all.

Cheers,
Imladris

[Elora]

The first seems more in keeping with the style of Elvish laments to my mind also, and so my voice is added to Imladris'.

Both are fine work, just a sense of more Elvish-ness in the former is all.

[Nurumaiel]

I think I'll go along with Imladris and Elora and say the first song, Eswen. I like both and considered it carefully, but I agree that the first sounds more Elvish.

By the way, Elora, it's good to 'see' you again! I hope you're doing well!

[littlemanpoet]

Eswen: The first Lament is the more lyrical and Elvish sounding. The second one reminds me of the Norse, so that would more likely come from someone from Rohan. Unless that's the Dark Queen. I like them both in their own ways.

One change or so I would make before you edit the 1st version into your Eswen lament post:

Her very essence was star and moonlight
And so she quited the earth when dawn rose.

Elves probably wouldn't talk about "very essence", so... how about.....

Her heart was star and moonlight;
She quitted earth when dawn rose.

Another suggestion; instead of

Birds sing enchanting melodies.

how about....

Birds sing songs of enchantment

....I don't know - mine's not much better, it's just that I'm looking for a more flowing feel to the line.

And I'm sorry but the next line always reminds me of a shampoo...

No more tears shall be shed from her crystal blue eyes
No longer will she weep from despair in these mortal lands,
No longer will she feel the pain of death around her

How about....

Never shall her crystal eyes be stained with tears
She shall weep no more from despair in mortal lands
No more shall she feel the pain of death

I'm not exactly sure why I prefer the latter to the former. You decide.

The parts that I haven't commented on for suggestions, are exquisite!

Elora (and others):

Time is indeed pressing on this rp. I plan on a final closing post to be uploaded on May 31, which will include the journey and report in Bree, and the denouement in terms of each character.

It seems that the preferred method of keeping various characters going is to go to the Inn of either the Shire, Gondor, or Rohan, and branch off from there. An alternative to that, is to request permission from an appropriate rp leader to dove-tail into that rp. Yet another alternative is to beg, borrow, and plead with Pio for the mercy to follow the progress of various characters to wherever they're going until they arrive at one of the three Inns, or another rp.

[Elora]

AH, then to the Inn shall Uien go, for she gave her word to return to those she left to commence this venture.