Defective Weapons Inc.

[Saraphim]

Turin: I will not disgrace the waters of this river with my foul blood
*sets Gurthang in the rocks and goes to jump on it, instead lands overshoots and falls into the river*
Niniel: I will cast myself into the river! *trips and lands on Gurthang*
Gurthang: I need to get a new hobby. Ruining depressed people's lives just doesn't do it for me anymore

King of the Dead: The dead do not suffer the living to pass!
Aragorn: You will suffer me! *smacks Anduril down on the Dead King and cuts his head off* Uh...*looks around at all the other dead guys, who start closing in menacingly*

In contrast to what everyone else says, I promote copyright infringment!

*avoids random, airborne objects propelled at her*