Arda Employment Agency - The Barrow-Downs Discussion Forum

The Squatter of Amon Rûdh · 06-15-2004, 05:26 AM

Wanted: motivated self-starters to take part in exploration/restoration project.

We are looking for experienced stonemasons, miners, carpenters and smiths to join our committed and determined team of restorers working in one of Arda's most impressive stately homes. Although experience in fighting Orcish hordes would be an advantage, a stout heart, a strong arm and a knack for finding Truesilver are all that you need to become an important member of our corporate family.

The potential rewards of this project have to be seen to be believed. A competitive salary is only the beginning, as potential commissions and bonuses can include the hoarded treasure of generations, huge veins of Mithril and as many halls as you can reclaim. Promotion is fast in this fluid and forward-looking environment, so there is every chance that you could have what it takes to be the Lord of Moria.* Contact us now for your free prospecting pack and pre-filled headstone at

Balin, son of Fundin,
Dwarrowdelf Project,
Hall 12,
Second Deep,
Erebor

Or visit our web-site at www.lordofmoria.com

*Quick promotion is due to high probability of unpleasant death. Those suffering from Balrog-related allergies should not apply.

Agent Evenstar · 06-15-2004, 09:04 PM

Wanted: Large troll

Requirements: Must be large and strong. The ability to follow orders when given is a must. Intelligence is not a main concern...

Job Description: It depends on what you are assigned too and what you are mentally capable of. It is possible that you will be in operation of various machineries of war, such as battering rams, catapults, and the pushing of seige towers. You may also be enlisted to charge the gates of a city once they are knocked down and wage battle on the people behind them, providing you can handle a large club and are not afraid to wreak havoc on your enemies. There is also the possibility that you may be assigned to the opening and closing of the Gates of Mordor if you are found lacking in the war department.

WARNING: You will most likely be put in compromising situations during battle. When this happens, you are soley responsible for yourself and the preservation of your own life, so do not expect us to come to your defense, should you end up surrounded or brought down. Health plans and dental are not offered.

Thank you for your time
- Sauron, lord of Mordor

Eomer of the Rohirrim · 06-16-2004, 04:11 AM

Are you tired of your backwards country? Would you like to see progress being made? Well, we may just have a job for you! We here at Lotho Enterprises love our home, that's why we want to better it! Come join our industrial family today. We don't have a problem with trees or flowers, we just don't want them here. Got hay-fever? Make it personal! Machinery, fire and smoke is the way forward. Natural greenery is old-fashioned and many observers believe that exposure to it stunts growth and causes impotence. So what are you waiting for? A better Shire is there, you just need to make it happen!

Contact The Chief at thechief.lotho@iamtheboss.com

Please no questions regarding my white-haired friend and his 'pet'. They are answerable to me, and me alone. Your friend, Lotho Sackville-Baggins.

Arwen Evenstar · 06-17-2004, 03:20 PM

If the form Pippin was filling out for a job asked for a self desciption, what would he put?

Description: Small about 3 foot 8, thick brown curls on both head and feet, bare-foot, beautiful blue/hazel eyes, a dazzling smile, and a sexy scottish accent.

Saraphim · 06-17-2004, 05:52 PM

Tired of waiting around Elvenhome? Well then join the House of Finwe! We offer two ways to the fabulous Middle-Earth:

If Kinslaying's your thing, then come down to the harbors and sign up with Feanor or any of his sons. They'll set you up with something sharp that you can hurl at pesky Teleri. Then enjoy months of backbreaking work at sea on a never ending quest to find three small jewels!

OR

Sign up with Fingolfin for a lovely stroll down Helcaraxe! The grinding ice is a perfect way to spend your year. Enjoy the below freezing climate as you walk over uncharted ice cliffs with very little food or protective clothing!

The House of Finwe wants YOU!

Eomer of the Rohirrim · 06-18-2004, 07:20 AM

Fed up with Feanor and Fingolfin? Not really interested in adventure? Join the Vanyar and hang around in Valinor! Who wants to be fighting Balrogs when you could be loafing around on the grass watching beautiful maidens dance all day? Idiots, that's who! Are you an idiot?

Join us. You don't even need to apply (that's the beauty of it), all you need to do is hide in your house until Feanor leaves.

06-15-2004, 05:26 AM	#1
The Squatter of Amon Rûdh Spectre of Decay Join Date: Jan 2002 Location: Bar-en-Danwedh Posts: 2,178	Fantastic career opportunity just in Wanted: motivated self-starters to take part in exploration/restoration project. We are looking for experienced stonemasons, miners, carpenters and smiths to join our committed and determined team of restorers working in one of Arda's most impressive stately homes. Although experience in fighting Orcish hordes would be an advantage, a stout heart, a strong arm and a knack for finding Truesilver are all that you need to become an important member of our corporate family. The potential rewards of this project have to be seen to be believed. A competitive salary is only the beginning, as potential commissions and bonuses can include the hoarded treasure of generations, huge veins of Mithril and as many halls as you can reclaim. Promotion is fast in this fluid and forward-looking environment, so there is every chance that you could have what it takes to be the Lord of Moria.* Contact us now for your free prospecting pack and pre-filled headstone at Balin, son of Fundin, Dwarrowdelf Project, Hall 12, Second Deep, Erebor Or visit our web-site at www.lordofmoria.com *Quick promotion is due to high probability of unpleasant death. Those suffering from Balrog-related allergies should not apply. __________________ Man kenuva métim' andúne?

06-15-2004, 09:04 PM	#2
Agent Evenstar Pile O'Bones Join Date: Jun 2004 Location: The Matrix! No, wait, Middle Earth. No, hold on... Middle Earth inside the Matrix!!! Posts: 12	Wanted: Large troll Requirements: Must be large and strong. The ability to follow orders when given is a must. Intelligence is not a main concern... Job Description: It depends on what you are assigned too and what you are mentally capable of. It is possible that you will be in operation of various machineries of war, such as battering rams, catapults, and the pushing of seige towers. You may also be enlisted to charge the gates of a city once they are knocked down and wage battle on the people behind them, providing you can handle a large club and are not afraid to wreak havoc on your enemies. There is also the possibility that you may be assigned to the opening and closing of the Gates of Mordor if you are found lacking in the war department. WARNING: You will most likely be put in compromising situations during battle. When this happens, you are soley responsible for yourself and the preservation of your own life, so do not expect us to come to your defense, should you end up surrounded or brought down. Health plans and dental are not offered. Thank you for your time - Sauron, lord of Mordor __________________ ~ Maker of Nearsighted Sunglasses~ and a proud memeber of the Nearsighted Elves Society! I have a bucket of pink dye AND I AM NOT AFRAID TO USE IT!!!!! snicker

06-16-2004, 04:11 AM	#3
Eomer of the Rohirrim Auspicious Wraith Join Date: May 2002 Location: The Netherlands Posts: 4,859	You can make a difference today! Are you tired of your backwards country? Would you like to see progress being made? Well, we may just have a job for you! We here at Lotho Enterprises love our home, that's why we want to better it! Come join our industrial family today. We don't have a problem with trees or flowers, we just don't want them here. Got hay-fever? Make it personal! Machinery, fire and smoke is the way forward. Natural greenery is old-fashioned and many observers believe that exposure to it stunts growth and causes impotence. So what are you waiting for? A better Shire is there, you just need to make it happen! Contact The Chief at thechief.lotho@iamtheboss.com Please no questions regarding my white-haired friend and his 'pet'. They are answerable to me, and me alone. Your friend, Lotho Sackville-Baggins. __________________ Los Ingobernables de Harlond

06-17-2004, 05:52 PM	#5
Saraphim Shade of Carn Dûm Join Date: Nov 2003 Location: The other side of freezing. Posts: 404	Tired of waiting around Elvenhome? Well then join the House of Finwe! We offer two ways to the fabulous Middle-Earth: If Kinslaying's your thing, then come down to the harbors and sign up with Feanor or any of his sons. They'll set you up with something sharp that you can hurl at pesky Teleri. Then enjoy months of backbreaking work at sea on a never ending quest to find three small jewels! OR Sign up with Fingolfin for a lovely stroll down Helcaraxe! The grinding ice is a perfect way to spend your year. Enjoy the below freezing climate as you walk over uncharted ice cliffs with very little food or protective clothing! The House of Finwe wants YOU! __________________ I drink Pan Galactic Gargle Blasters! ~ Always remember: pillage BEFORE you burn.

06-18-2004, 07:20 AM	#6
Eomer of the Rohirrim Auspicious Wraith Join Date: May 2002 Location: The Netherlands Posts: 4,859	Here's a better idea... Fed up with Feanor and Fingolfin? Not really interested in adventure? Join the Vanyar and hang around in Valinor! Who wants to be fighting Balrogs when you could be loafing around on the grass watching beautiful maidens dance all day? Idiots, that's who! Are you an idiot? Join us. You don't even need to apply (that's the beauty of it), all you need to do is hide in your house until Feanor leaves. __________________ Los Ingobernables de Harlond

06-17-2004, 03:20 PM	#4
Arwen Evenstar Registered User Join Date: Jun 2003 Posts: 131	If the form Pippin was filling out for a job asked for a self desciption, what would he put? Description: Small about 3 foot 8, thick brown curls on both head and feet, bare-foot, beautiful blue/hazel eyes, a dazzling smile, and a sexy scottish accent.

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