Defective Weapons Inc.

[Nilpaurion Felagund]

Faramir Solo gave me this manuscript...

Do you, by any chance, know him, Eowyn Skywalker?

Fingolfin bowed before Finwë, and without a word or glance to Fëanor he went from the chamber. But Fëanor followed him, and at the door of the king's house he stayed him; and the point of his bright sword he set against Fingolfin's breast.
"See, half-brother!" he said. "This is sharper than thy tongue. Try bu once more to usurp..."
"It's a plastic lightsaber," said Fingolfin.
"No. It's sharper than thy tongue," said Fëanor.
"Whatever, dude," said Fingolfin, and passing through the throng he went to tell his brother Finarfin of their half-brother's antics.

[The Perky Ent]

Here's another Eowyn would like

Celeborn: Tonight, you will stay with us-
Galadriel in a telepathic voice: Welcome Frodo Baggins. I can sense the force is strong in you. *Frodo looks in mirror*
Sauron: Come to the dark side Frodo
*rings gets closer and closer*
Frodo: Never
*frodo pulls ring back*
*instead of sauron, Bilbo comes out*
Bilbo: Luke, erm, I mean Frodo. Resistance is useless.
Frodo: You killed my uncle!
Bilbo: No Frodo...I AM YOUR UNCLE!
Frodo: Nooooooo!
*gollum comes and bites off Frodo's finger*
Bilbo: don't worry about it! You'll get a robotic one!
Frodo: Before Gamgreen sets in...right?
Bilbo: The future is clouded.
Frodo: You joking right....
*silence*
Frodo: ...right?

[Nirvana II]

*Saruman is in battle with Gandalf in Orthanc*

Saruman:But you instead have elected the choice of...PAIN!!!

*Saruman swings his staff at Gandalf, nothing happens*

*Gandalf kills Saruman*

[Eowyn Skywalker]

Faramir Solo, ehh? He happens to be my father, actually... the only reason I'm a Skywalker is because I married Anakin... heh. Bet ya'll didn't know that little fact.

And why exactly, Perky, are you so sure that just because it's Star Warsy, I'll like it? Ahh well... you were right anyhow... snrk. I DID like it.

Bilbo Baggins pattered through the dark cave, no light there to guide his way, when suddenly a mechanical hiss came from the side. He turned, pulling out Sting as he went, and holding it in front of him, the glow from it's blade lighting the cave.

There was one before him, a slithery, slimely like creature who also drew a blade. In the dark shadows they dueled, until at last, (coughDarthcough) Gollum drove Bilbo back towards a glowy evil looking pit. Bilbo fell back into it, and looked around nervously.

"It wasss too eassssy, yessss it wassss, preciousssss," Gollum hissed, as he turned on a random switch, and steam filled the pit. Bilbo jumped, grapping onto a protruding boulder on the roof. "Why did the chicken cross the road?" he asked, grabbing for Sting as he dropped.

"Not fair, no," Gollum hissed. "We don't want to answer any more of your stupid, filthy, tricksy questionssss... we are your father, yessss we are, precioussss..."

He dove at Bilbo, and proceeded to kill him. "We has our precioussss back!" he screeched happily.

And then a goblin came, shot Gollum, and took the Ring, changing the course of Middle-earthian history forever!

I'm so mean... heh heh heh... oh well, you guys do Star Wars, I'll come right back at you with it!

-Eowyn Skywalker

EDIT: Ooooo... 300 posts! Go me! *uses the Force*