ME jokes and funny stories

[HerenIstarion]

You know the difference between the bed-time tales elves and orks tell their children?

Elven tales begin with ‘once upon a time, in a fair kingdom far away...’, whilst orkish ones with ‘hey, little swine, you rats never gonna believe what ole’ snaga gonna tell ya, uglúk u bagronk sha pushdug tark-glob búbhosh skai...”


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- There is a good tradition in Mordor to plant a tree every time ork child is born. Only, if child grows up and is ugly, they fell the tree
- So?
- So the Mordor is one good bulk of a desert...

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- Good morning, Master Hamfast
- And good day to you, Mister Baggins, good day!
- Tell me, Master Hamfast, does your cow smoke pipe-weed?
- No, Mister Baggins, sir, she does not, but why may you be a-speaking such a thing, sir?
- Ah, there is a smoke coming out of a cow-shed, maybe there is a fire there, than...