Did Bill Ferny die?

[Nilpaurion Felagund]

I think the whole solution to this story revolves on that.

Bilbo's story of There and Back Again was obviously true, as no-one in his right mind would write the word "grocer" on an autobiography (if I have to, I'll use the phrase "commodities trader"), not even Mad Baggins in his right mind.

OK, that's a metaphysical dislocation there. Mad Baggins is not in his right mind. How do you resolve this?

Mad Baggins is in his right mind. He's mad.

Anywhen, Frodo's crystal might be some sort of hallucinogen, marketed by the Elves so they could subjugate the lowly Men once more. Mwahahahaha!!!

Oh, no. Now he's mad.
Wait, how about Bill Ferny.

Bill Ferny is an Elvish propaganda, an allegory for all Mankind. We are gonna have a pony kick y'all in your Shires! MWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!

Forgive him. He's mad that way.

MWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!

[Eomer of the Rohirrim]

Bill Ferny, an allegory for all mankind? Who would have thought that Bill Ferny would turn out to be arguably the most culturally significant character in the entire works of J.R.R.Tolkien? A year ago I would have scoffed at the idea, but now after following the logic, it appears a strong case.

But wait, if Bill Ferny represents the enslaved Man, who do the Elves represent?

[Mithalwen]

Well evolutiuonarily speaking - a low down, sneaky sort with an awareness of the way the wind blows and an eye for the main chance is more likely to suvive than these high minded noble types.. cf the Blackadder dynasty...?

[Lachwen]

You know, Mithalwen, never before I found this board would I have imagined there would be any parallels between Middle-earth and The Blackadder Chronicles. Now I have a mental image of Celeborn shouting "Shizzik! Fresh horses!"

[Nilpaurion Felagund]

. . . if Bill Ferny represents the enslaved Man, who do the Elves represent? (Eomer)

That's an interesting question. But the answer remains far from clear. Certain scholars believe that, due to the crystal issue, the Elves represent some giant crime syndicate marketing drugs. They have a surfeit of canonical evidence backing this theory, some of which are:

Pippin afterwards recalled little of either food or drink, for his mind was filled with the light upon the elf-faces, and the sound of voices so various and so beautiful that he felt in a waking dream. (LotR I 3)

Sam could never describe in words, nor picture clearly to himself, what he felt or thought that night . . . (ibid)

They say that the food was laced with some Elvish hallucinogen, resulting in lapses in memories and outbursts of euphoria among the hobbits.

Other say this is ludacris, and believe that the Elves were the ancestors of today's intelligence agencies. Recall Bilbo's encounter with the Rivendell Elves, or the meeting of Frodo and Gildor. It gives evidence to a vast network of informants spying for the Elves.

Some even surmised that the Elvish "foreknowledge" is but a result of excellent information acquisition and analysis, producing an estimate for the said "foresighted" Elf years before the actual event.

There are other theories concerning Elves, ranging from Wargs and horses to geological outgrowths, but these two are the most well-defined schools of thought concerning the meaning of Elves.

I, however, believe that Elves represent certain species of amry ants found in Africa. I mean, have you seen their cities, or heard them talk? Perhaps a colony of this dwelt near Tolkien's childhood home in South Africa, and these insects gave inspiration to the Quendi.

[Eomer of the Rohirrim]

Bringing it back, I think it's important.

I'm still interested in this discrepancy between the books. Why would the Silmarillion fail to record Gollum? Could it be that *gasp* the chances of such a creature surviving really are non-existant? It's a wonder so many people have believed it. How has Frodo gotten away with this for so long?

Patrons of The Warg and Warg Rider Appreciation Thread are familiar with Baggins' anti-Warg propoganda. Is there any malice in his creation of the spook 'Gollum'? What was Frodo trying to achieve?

And do feel free to speculate further about Bill Ferny. That is one question that was never answered to full satisfaction.

[Gothbogg the Ripper]

Ah, time to bump this topic I think. It's been three years after all.