Tolkien Action figures you won't find in stores.

[Ainaserkewen]

You know what I would buy if they sold them would be a "Fell Beast" made of rubber on a bouncy string. Like a giant spider, you can hang them and make high pitched noises when you toss them at people. Can you imagine?

Oh, and if there were a Legolas Barbie, he would need his prince counterpart...wait, he's already a prince...so he needs a...princess/big sister counterpart? But she would wear the colourful board shorts and come with way too much product in her short, styled hair? Gah, this is confusing.

[The Elf-warrior]

Available now at Tack-key novelties the three stone troll dolls set! And a Witch-King action-figure that stabs people who wear gold rings; also with authentic nazgul shriek! Or how about a Denethor cigarette lighter? Just press the button and Denethor goes up in flames! As a bonus for the purists he is clutching a palantir. Also for those grouchy purists (A pox on them. Gibbets and crows! We could have had Arwen at Helms Deep or Minas Tirith. Just imagine the sales of the action figures! They could have been mine! They should have been mine!!) a PJ the pirate with an arrow in his chest!

[The Only Real Estel]

Supposedly there's a new Denethor figure out. You can feed him food and he'll spit it back out all over himself.

[Boromir88]

Ahh, Estel, but did you recognize the new Boromir doll out, the one full of holes .

[Meela]

I love the Denethor ideas! Personally I'd want him to be one of those action figures who has laser eyes that can detect fire or heat, so he automatically walks over to it and throws himself in. Would be very handy if something was burning in the kitchen.

And like Sapphire's nightlights and hat racks: not quite an action figure, but some sort of doorbell attachment in the shape of an Elf/Hobbit/Bombadil - take your pick- which sings their respective songs when the doorbell is rung, or shouts insults at the caller, whichever you feel suits your hospitality.

A Meela action figure? I suppose she comes as a bonus with the Denethor action figure. If he's malfunctioning, she'll pour the lighter fluid on for him.

I always wanted a Lothlorien set, which not only included action figures, but a forest scene with hidden flets, trap doors in trees with little slides inside the trunks, bushes that slide to one side and have elves jump out at you, and a light-up flet for Galadriel and Celeborn.

[Oddwen]

NEW! NEW NEW NEW!!! Middle-earth™ playscapes! Now you, too can re-create the drowning of Númenor™ in your very own bathtub!
(Ships of Elendil™ and swimming Tickle-Me-Ulmo™ sold seperately)
BUY THEM NOW! FREE SHIPPING!

[Maeggaladiel]

It's the new FIGWIT ACTION FIGURE! WITH NOSTRIL-FLARING ACTION! Press his hand to hear actual movie lines, such as:
"...."
"....."
"...?..."
"...*raise eyebrows*..."


Or the amazing FRODO CHIA PET! Plants grow on his head and feet.

The "Light-N-Sound" Morgul Blade. Turn your friends into Nasgul with realistic lights and sounds. (*Manufacturer is not responsible for loss of soul or transformation into enslaved undead creatures.)

A "Tickle Me Gollum" doll. (Sorry to the Tickle Me Ulmo folks.) With 25 words and phrases:
"It ticklesses us, preciouss!"
"ACK! Good master stopsss tickling us, yess?"
"NOOO! STOP! SHIIIRE! BAAAAGIIIIIIINSSSS!"
"If it touchesses us once more, we'll wring its filthy neck!"

How about a "Make Me Pretty" Mumakil doll? Comes with dark eyeshadow for you and Mumakil. Heh. Sorry. I'd better stop now.

[Esgallhugwen]

It's the new FIGWIT ACTION FIGURE! WITH NOSTRIL-FLARING ACTION! Press his hand to hear actual movie lines, such as:
"...."
"....."
"...?..."
"...*raise eyebrows*..."

I'll never learn to stay clear of these threads when my parents are sleeping, lucky I have excellent control of my laughter reflexes, *starts giggling with hands cupped over her mouth*

Sappy the Scaredy Ent is hours of fun but be careful if you scare him he'll release syruppy sap (kind of like an octupus) all over your kid, you'll never be unsticky again. Great for waffles or French toast.

i have one more but I want to wait and see first....