A Downer Dinner Party

[THE Ka]

Eh.... I'm not a social person inparticular, besides i'm practically anti-social. Crowds make me feel funny (Not the happy feeling, the sick one...) But, i'll see what i can do...


ok, well, i'll start with members and then some very needed characters plus, a bunch of surprises...

Elennar: I absolutely cannot forget! Elennar is very funny, and is very nice. Plus she is like a friend to me. Chiefly i would be talking to Elennar throughout the whole affair. Most likely about David Bowie...He is the goblin king! I can't forget!

Encaitare: Another friendly member! Plus, always has something good to say. Between Elennar and Encaitare, i don't think i would move around that much...

Davem: very broad-minded and thoughtful, how could i not? Besides, when i decide to be 'philosophical' on the downs, they are 90% of the time who understands what i'm talking about...

Boromir88: Another funny person...I seem to have a patten with that. Notable in my book for making excellent posts and even better threads...

Saphy: Very, very funny! Without saphy i don't think the party would survive that long. All around nice person.

Treebeard: Trees are awsome. When they can talk, they are the best!

Merry: My favorite hobbit, we would converse about herbs, and maybe other things. I really don't know...

I know i've already bended the rules a bit but, this last one is very logical (you'll see...)

Boromir: i don't think i need to explain...

Okay! I'm done!

~Happy ka~

[Sapphire_Flame]

Aw, thankies, Ka! *blush*

Okay, having an extreme dislike for fancy parties, this will be as easy-going an event as I can contrive. So, at my lovely round table the guests will be seated so:

Me: Natch! 'S my party, isnae it? To my left is...

Peregrin Took: A lovely young hobbit, to be sure. My list of questions for him has become somewhat lengthy, and there would be no worries about overly serious discussion. Seated to Pippin's left is...

Oddwen: Both friendly and funny, and at the same time capable of giving fine insights. To her left...

Boromir88: Again, an intelligent and amusing individual. No dinner would be complete without him. Seated beside him is...

Eowyn: A bright and beautiful young woman, certainly a great addition to the table. I have the feeling that she could carry on solid conversations with those beside her, the second of whom is...

davem: Highly intelligent, eloquent, and occasionally odd; no doubt a purveyor of great information to any conversation at the table. To his left sits...

Celebrian: Daughter of Celeborn and Galadriel, wife of Elrond Halfelven, mother of Arwen Undomiel; a veritable fountain of information on all of the above, and hopefully able to answer some of the nitpicky questions that Tolkien did not address and which Elrond, Galadriel, and Arwen might refuse to answer. And, between the Lady of Imladris and myself sits...

Maglor: Second son of Feanor, and one of the greatest musicians in all of Ea. I would love to ask about the events of the First Age; also, I would ask where exactly he went after throwing the last Silmaril into the sea... And, perhaps, he could be persuaded to play a little something for us. ^_~

As for a menu, it would consist of good plain food (hobbit food, as some would say). Some more delicate fare for Celebrian and Maglor, of course. And a drink of my own invention, a mixture of Sprite and white cranberry juice. (My pardon, but I am not much of a cook, nor am I much of a meal planner. ^^; ) Perhaps Sam and Rosie (and some of the fine elves of Lothlorien) could be persuaded to cater this event? *grin*

Abedithon le,

~ Saphy ~

[mark12_30]

My second dinner party, and third, and fourth, might be a replay of the first with different questions. The fellow wrote a thousand pages, after all, and once we start asking questions I doubt one evening will satisfy our curiosity. However at some point poor Frodo would "politely decline due to a prior engagement: tea with the Sackville Bagginses" at which point we would know we had worn out our welcome.

Following Frodo's exhausted exit, the next dinner party would be a **pot-luck** with the following folk invited:
As is my custom, I will bring assorted tropical melons and summer berries.
Beregond representing the tastes of the Minas Tirith Everyman; bringing Apples from the Winter Store, wrinkled, but still sound and sweet.
Child of the 7th Age who can still cook without electricity, has promised to bring several fine traditional dishes.
Bilbo Baggins for his reputation among hobbits of setting a fine table: plans to bring bacon & mushrooms, seed-cake, and cold chicken and pickles.
Raefindel who can cook for hobbits or elves: for my sake, she plans to bring wheat-free and dairy-free foods. However, miraculously, I can state from personal experience that hers actually taste delicious.
Gildor who sets a fine table in the woods, replete with fruit and vegetables and bread
Aiwendil representing the non-mystical philosophies, may bring whatever he chooses.
Treebeard will bring the finest of Ent-Draughts.
littlemanpoet May also bring the dish of his choice. Representing spiritual philosophy, and as one familiar with the implications of the gastronomical reputation of the last guest, who is:
Gollum. Fully intending to eat Bilbo for lunch, after much debate he was finally convinced to bring some fissssh instead.

The topic of discussion will be:
"Setting the most generically attractive table, or, multicultural menu-ethics in Middle Earth: Vegetarianism, Carnivorism, or Cannabalism?"

[the phantom]

A snapshot of the phantom's dinner party!

1) I'll give you one guess at who's sitting at the head of the table.

2) To my left, the lovely, likable, learned artist- Feanor of the Peredhil. She's blushing due to a barrage of flirty comments and looks shot at her by the host (that's me).

3) On her other side sits an annoyed Keeper of Dol Guldur (her brother). He glares at me and mutters threats under his breath until I take the hint and turn my attention to the guest on my right...

4) Ioreth, from Minas Tirith. As we all know, she is blessed- no, doubly blessed- with the gift of gab (which perhaps makes us doubly cursed). But, since this is a social occasion, I figured it made sense to invite the ultimate socializer.

5) At the opposite end of the table sits The Barrow-Wight, who is itching for someone to commit an offense great enough to justify revoking their talking privileges, or booting them out of the gathering. And it appears that he will get his chance with the guest to his right...

6) Movie Arwen. For the third time tonight she has rudely interrupted a conversation about Glorfindel, and she's also trying to pick a fight with a couple of the other guests, bragging that she's stared down the Nazgul so she's not afraid of anyone. One of the guests she is trying to rile up is...

7) Gothmog, Lord of the Balrogs, who was invited so we could decide the whole wing thing once and for all. He is sitting right next to Movie Arwen, and judging from his growls, I'd say that Movie Arwen is about to get what she deserves.

8) Sitting across from Movie Arwen is Book Arwen. She hasn't said a word so far. She's just kind of sitting there looking pretty, and hoping that the film version across from her is taking notes.

9) To her left is The Saucepan Man, who was invited because... oh, everyone knows why Saucy got invited. You can't have a party without the coolest member of The Barrow-Downs.

10) The final guest is none other than Smaug! I've always wanted to talk to a dragon, so I invited him. He promised me that if I could get my hands on enough food to satisfy his appetite, he would let me climb on his back and take me for a ride.

Finishing off the table is the phantom

Thank you for inviting me.

because he just looks so darned good in a tux

Fea, my dear, you don't have to beat around the bush and say "darned good". Just say "smokin' hot" and be done with it.

[Encaitare]

Well, with a ten person limit I certainly would have to have more than one dinner party! They'd have to be for different reasons, too... humorous parties, serious parties, a poetry reading party, a party at which I invite davem, Fordim, and Sauce and just let them talk while I scribble furiously on a notepad .... but I digress. Here's what my first one would look like.

Going clockwise around the table...

1. Me, your gracious hostess, at the head of the table.

2. Fea, a great and very funny person, would sit to my left. We'd discuss art and then share some pictures after dessert.

3. Elrond would have to sit nearby, and share with us some of his wisdom. We'd keep things from getting too dry by convincing him to let Fea and I wear his tiara -- whoops, I mean circlet.

4. Keeping to boy/girl/boy/girl pattern, I would then seat Child of the Seventh Age. She seems like a wise woman to me, with whom we could certainly have some deep conversations.

5. Meriadoc Brandybuck, a charming and intelligent little fellow, would be next. I'd like him to come because everyone needs a hobbit around to add some cheer.

6. Next, THE Ka. And she's not just any Ka, mind you. We'd discuss mystical things and compare star charts.

7. Grima would have to attend, because I have a feeling he never gets invited to any good parties. Being a blonde, Nordic-looking female, however, I would not place him too close to myself. Later I'd get him a couch to lie on, don some glasses, and ask him age-old questions such as, "Did you really love Eowyn? Or was it just, you know, physical attraction?"

8. The Saucepan Man would be the next seated, disrupting the alternate male/female placing, but also providing protection from any villainy Master Wormtongue may have planned. Any fast moves and Sauce could wallop him on the head with a pan -- not too hard, though! Sauce and the next guest would certainly drum up some interesting conversation...

9. Fordim, a scholarly gent with a humorous streak, would add both wonderful attributes to the discussions.

10. Maglor would sit to my right; we would discuss music and probably bore the pants off of everyone. Perhaps he'd perform for us later in the evening.

As for the food... ehh, I'm not much of a cook -- hope you guys like White Castle! I'll make some cakes, though, for dessert...

[Boromir88]

Mith you know what you're talking about, my fireworks are definately superior to that of the old wizards.

A trully mirthful thread Fordhim, now onto the party.

As for the guests:
(going from right to left around the round table).

Me: Of course.

Chris Lee: Next to me, I could spend the whole night talking to this guy about Tolkien, and how was his experience with him.

Next to Lee, Pippin, what party wouldn't be complete without the entertainment?

Next to Pippin, Sapphy, I just imagine that those two would get a long very well. They might be able to put on a stand up comedy performance later in the evening.

Next to Sapphy, Boromir, I have to have a personal bouncer to throw out any whackos. You never know what can happen with this wide range of people. Plus, I'm interested in bringing back da Disco.

Next to him, and completely across from me, Encaitare. For the reason, see the next one.

Next to Enca, her best buddy! Gothmog! I can't wait to see how them to get a long.

Next to Gothmog, Denethor. Party won't be fully complete without a raving lunatic talking about the end of the world while spitting chewed up cherries across the table in Sapphy's face. Poor sapphy.

Next to Denny, Lalwende. The special guest for the evening, to give a lecture on custards and the breaking of light.

Last but not least, the person to the left of me Mith. So, I can explain to her the concept of football, and why I hate Lloyd Carr so much.

Forget the normal steak and chicken, we are keeping to the theme at my party. Let's eat middle-earth style, compliments to our chef Samwise Gamgee.

First the table has their own Lembas basket, to get everything started off. Problem is, you take one bite, you're full for the evening.

Appetizers: Frodo Fingers- I know the menu says you get 10, but for some reason it only comes with 9. Or....The One Ring bloom of onion- The problem with this is we only have one in stock, and the person who is lucky enough to get it won't share it with anyone, and his greed for more begins to consume him, but problem is there's only one. Then you must go on a long quest to the supermarket and pick up maalox max to clear out the horrible heartburn.

Soups and Salads: Lothlorien Salad- The salad leaves are mallorn leaves fit with our special dressing from the oils of Galadriel's hair herself. A tasty treat indeed. Dead Marshes soup- a foggy, nasty looking thing, and if you stare into the little lights you'll light candles of your own.

Main course: Saruman fillet- A fine cut of meat from Saruman's scrappings after falling to a slicy death. You also get a side of Grima's wormtongue. Gollum Dinner- You get yourself some nice raw fish and coney, with a side of gollum nuggets.

Deserts: Caradhras blast- A tasty ice cream sundae so cold people have even frozen to death. Mincemeat pie- just because it's so nasty no one would want to eat.

Drinks: Rivendell Coffee- Elrond tends to slip in some ex-lax in his coffee. He's just always so angry sometimes the build up is too much. Miruvor.

I know the guests are salivating over the dinner for the evening, so come with an empty stomach . (Sorry if I grossed people out)

[Encaitare]

Ah, Boromir, I must remember to come back and rep that post as soon as I can... *wipes eyes*

If I was really seated next to Gothmog... I think I'd prod his arm-tumor-growth thing with a fork. A lot.