Dwarven Boasting Contest - The Barrow-Downs Discussion Forum

Maeggaladiel · 03-01-2005, 11:05 AM

Know you fools what I think of thy foolish banter? Listen to my laughter: HA HA HA HA HA! Istari and men indeed!

Now that fun and games are over, you will all bow to the awesome might of the greatest of all creatures. Yes, cower in the icy, dark shadow of the hobbit!

Aye, hobbits; the most dangerous creature ever to walk the land. They are ever-hungry, always seeking some tasty morsel to devour, not caring if it has family back home.

Be not decieved by their humble appearance; beneath the cute exterior lies a killer. Who killed the Witch King? A HOBBIT! (Yeah, okay, that human lady helped him a little.) Who fended off the gigantic bloodthirsty Shelob? A HOBBIT! (Okay, so she didn't really die. It's the thought that counts.)

Slay dragons? HA! Why waste their energy? They just steal what they need from the horde and let their pathetic underlings do the rest. They riddle with creatures of darkness, steal wine from under the elvenking's nose, fend off dreaded Barrow-Wights and still have time to announce the arrival of any eagle that comes within a ten mile radius of them.

They're crafty! They'll take your most treasured possesion and give it to your enemy! They're tough! Stab 'em, feed 'em to a monster, give 'em to a cave troll... and BAM! They're okay!

Do I need to add that there is no book titled "The Man," "The Dwarf," or "The Istari?" Obviously the hobbit is the dominant species here.

03-01-2005, 11:05 AM	#8
Maeggaladiel Ghost Prince of Cardolan Join Date: Mar 2004 Location: The end of the world as we know it. I feel fine, incidentally. Posts: 500	Know you fools what I think of thy foolish banter? Listen to my laughter: HA HA HA HA HA! Istari and men indeed! Now that fun and games are over, you will all bow to the awesome might of the greatest of all creatures. Yes, cower in the icy, dark shadow of the hobbit! Aye, hobbits; the most dangerous creature ever to walk the land. They are ever-hungry, always seeking some tasty morsel to devour, not caring if it has family back home. Be not decieved by their humble appearance; beneath the cute exterior lies a killer. Who killed the Witch King? A HOBBIT! (Yeah, okay, that human lady helped him a little.) Who fended off the gigantic bloodthirsty Shelob? A HOBBIT! (Okay, so she didn't really die. It's the thought that counts.) Slay dragons? HA! Why waste their energy? They just steal what they need from the horde and let their pathetic underlings do the rest. They riddle with creatures of darkness, steal wine from under the elvenking's nose, fend off dreaded Barrow-Wights and still have time to announce the arrival of any eagle that comes within a ten mile radius of them. They're crafty! They'll take your most treasured possesion and give it to your enemy! They're tough! Stab 'em, feed 'em to a monster, give 'em to a cave troll... and BAM! They're okay! Do I need to add that there is no book titled "The Man," "The Dwarf," or "The Istari?" Obviously the hobbit is the dominant species here. __________________ "Wide ne bith wel," cwaeth se the geheirde on helle hriman.

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