Middle Earth Tech Support - The Barrow-Downs Discussion Forum

Lyta_Underhill · 03-12-2005, 08:31 PM

TS: Hello, Eregion Fine Jewelry Customer Service...(drones on..)
Frodo: I want to complain about my ring. I specifically asked for the NON-EVIL model.
TS: (still droning)...This branch is no longer in service; please refer all complaints to the Orodruin Center. Thank you for your business, and farewell until the world is changed.
Frodo: (angrily slams phone down) I only just GOT this ring! How can the manufacturer be out of business? (dials Orodruin Center)
TS: Orodruin Customer Service, Snaga speaking, how I help?
Frodo: I want to complain about my ring. I ordered a non-evil variety, you know, party tricks, disappear, pick your friends' pockets...and I got this nasty staring Big Red Eye and Wraith Attractant version. I want to exchange it for the right model!
TS: Uh...only one ring...to rule them all...One Ring.
Frodo: (fuming). How can there be only ONE ring? How do you guys stay in business?
TS: One Ring...get boss. (on hold...sounds of screaming and torture overlaid by strains of the Carpenters)
TS: Boss say bring ring in to shop. He fix.
Frodo: Where's your nearest branch to Hobbiton?
TS: Bring ring to Barad-Dur. He fix.
Frodo: How far is your shop?
TS: 1784 miles
Frodo: Can't you send someone?
TS: Sure. Send Witch King to get, er...fix! ring! Where you live? Name?
Frodo: Shire. Baggins. (knocks self in head) thinking: I don't think I should have said that!

Cheers!
Lyta

03-12-2005, 08:31 PM	#5
Lyta_Underhill Haunted Halfling Join Date: Feb 2003 Location: an uncounted length of steps--floating between air molecules Posts: 841	Wrong model... TS: Hello, Eregion Fine Jewelry Customer Service...(drones on..) Frodo: I want to complain about my ring. I specifically asked for the NON-EVIL model. TS: (still droning)...This branch is no longer in service; please refer all complaints to the Orodruin Center. Thank you for your business, and farewell until the world is changed. Frodo: (angrily slams phone down) I only just GOT this ring! How can the manufacturer be out of business? (dials Orodruin Center) TS: Orodruin Customer Service, Snaga speaking, how I help? Frodo: I want to complain about my ring. I ordered a non-evil variety, you know, party tricks, disappear, pick your friends' pockets...and I got this nasty staring Big Red Eye and Wraith Attractant version. I want to exchange it for the right model! TS: Uh...only one ring...to rule them all...One Ring. Frodo: (fuming). How can there be only ONE ring? How do you guys stay in business? TS: One Ring...get boss. (on hold...sounds of screaming and torture overlaid by strains of the Carpenters) TS: Boss say bring ring in to shop. He fix. Frodo: Where's your nearest branch to Hobbiton? TS: Bring ring to Barad-Dur. He fix. Frodo: How far is your shop? TS: 1784 miles Frodo: Can't you send someone? TS: Sure. Send Witch King to get, er...fix! ring! Where you live? Name? Frodo: Shire. Baggins. (knocks self in head) thinking: I don't think I should have said that! Cheers! Lyta __________________ “…she laid herself to rest upon Cerin Amroth; and there is her green grave, until the world is changed, and all the days of her life are utterly forgotten by men that come after, and elanor and niphredil bloom no more east of the Sea.”

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