Middle Earth Tech Support

[Maeggaladiel]

Tech Support: Hello!

Isildur: H-Hello? Hello! Hey, I need some he--

Tech Support (recording): Welcome to the StabCo Weapons Hotline! Your call is important to us, so please choose from one of the following options! Thank you!

Isildur: I don't have time for this!

TS: For StabCo product information, press one. For StabCo employee special events, press two. For StabCo product concerns or malfunctions, press three. To speak with an actual live person--

*Isildur raises finger to push button*

TS: --call somewhere else.

*Isildur puts finger down. Isildur presses three.*

TS: Thank you for pressing three. You have indicated that your StabCo product may be malfunctioning. We at StabCo value the opinions of our customers, but regret to inform you that whatever the problem is, it was obviously caused by the user and is in no way connected to the faulty manufacturing process and therefore is not covered by warrantee. StabCo would also like to assure customers that our products are NOT made in Mordor sweat shops and that our employees are very happy and well paid. Anyone who argues with this fact shall be terminated. Thank you and have a nice day! And remember, at StabCo, our motto is "THE POINTY END GOES INTO THE OTHER GUY!"

Sauron: Hey, buddy, you wanna pick up the pace? I'm not going to stand here forever!

Isildur: *looks down at broken sword bits* Aw, MAN!