If LotR had been written by someone else!?

[daeron]

" Ah Sir!It seems you have hurt my Lord! ",cried Eowyn

" I am extremely sorry. But I am in a terrible hurry, please excuse me!", said the witchking.

" Excuse you! Why you come barging through on that abominable steed, throw a horse over my lord, crush him under its weight and you think you can run off. Undeceive yourself comrade.You are not the Dark Lord."

"Well I did say I was sorry. But I really am in the greatest haste. I have a war to win. I did not do it on purpose.Nevertheless I apologize once again though at this time it seems an excess of courtesy."

"Well your apology is not accepted. You are by no means polite.You look like a gentleman from your clothing. I would expect a little more courtesy from you. "

" You are no one to instruct me in manners."

"Perhaps I am."

"Well then, draw your sword. And who shall you call for seconds. I have eight to choose from, you observe."

" Well, as I have no one, we shall have to settle this between ourselves, unless you are such a coward as to call for seconds when I have none"

" I am more than a match for you. Let me warn you that I never require a second shot at my opponents."

" Neither will you this time, lord for I shall thrust this blade into you before you even take your stroke."

" We shall see. it has been said no man can kill me. But before we start, I would like to know with whom I have the honour of fighting."

" I am Eowyn de Edoras, Lady de Rohan and the niece of the Lord Theoden de Rohan. As you see, I am no man."