Tol-in-Gaurhoth VII (The Saga goes ever on and on)

[Saurreg]

Ooooh...

Poor sweet Firefoot. She was a darling, really she was. Aside from dah fact dat this ole' foggy never figured out what she did in this village of o'ers doesn't take away the good impression me haf of her. The dear lassie would always greet me cheerfully every morn when me takes me flock out to pastures and she always had a heart for dah lit' nooborn lambs - toh' she did suffer from what yer call dah Elmyra-komplex - seeh's got a ten'cie to hug 'em, and squeeze 'em and tear 'em to bits. Rest well yer sweet kind und gentle soul. Me will name dee next nooborn after yer...

Right! D'ish villages got ourselves a werewolve prob no? Tisk tisk. Very serious. As of now, we've noobody to point o'er grimmy fingers at yet and drag 'im to dah scaffolds. But may me draw yer all attention to dah sus'pis wulf breedah, Nilp. Hello! Attention please! Dank you!

Now yer all know me haf been looozing me sheep in l'ecent days. Furst it was sweet Mary dat disappeared on dee mea'lows und never returned. Den it was cheeky but adorable Patricia und wot's leif of her was nothing more den bones und skin. Now yer all would moe pro'by think dat dis was dah work of mangy mongrels and 'in perhaps a grey timbah wulf. But wot 'bout me prize winning black sheep, Baa Baa. Yer Gawds!!! Me hart breaks at dah very sound of her name. Sweet Baa Baa! Me took 'er out to dah stream for a nize kool drink, leif her for a nap und wot happened? Seeh disappeared! All dat remained of sweet innocent Baa Baaaaa w'ore 'er intestines spelling out in ra'dah good cursive,

Thanks for lunch. Have a nice day!

Wot cheek! Wot cheek! Me tell yah, it dosen't take a ro'ket se... se... *damn* smartie pants to fi'gah it out dat wolves dinnah write nor spell nor undahstand syntax. Me thinks dat Nilp's got 'is hand in it. Furst dah sheep und seeing how fun und delicious it was, he und his pack most prob when afdah dee lass.

Keep yer eyes on dat wan. He up to no good!