Old Tom bombadil is a...?!?!

[the guy who be short]

I've just read The Adventures of Tom Bombadil for the second time. Astounding new evidence can be thrown into the debate!

But one day Tom, he went and caught the River-daughter,
in green gown, flowing hair, sitting in the rushes,
singing old water-songs to birds upon the bushes.
He caught her, held her fast! Water-rats went scuttering
reeds hissed, herons cried, and her heart was fluttering.
Said Tom Bombadil: 'Here's my pretty maiden!
You shall come home with me!

Yes, an abductor! But that's not all...

Little Bird sat on twig. ‘Whillo, Tom! I heed you.
I’ve a guess, I’ve a guess where your fancies lead you.
Shall I go, shall I go, bring him word to meet you?’
‘No names, you tell-tale, or I’ll skin and eat you,
babbling in every ear things that don’t concern you!
If you tell Willow-man where I’ve gone, I’ll burn you,
roast you on a willow-spit. That’ll end your prying!’

This is like threatening to burn a double glazing salesman. And eating him.

‘Talk less, Fisher Blue! Keep your kindly wishes!
Fly off and preen yourself with the bones of fishes!
Gay lord on your bough, at home a dirty varlet
living in a sloven house, though your breast be scarlet.
I’ve heard of fisher-birds beak in air a-dangling
to show how the wind is set: that’s an end of angling!’

Insults the Kingfisher, then implicitly threatens to rip his beak off and use it as a weathervane.

‘I’ll give your otter-fell to Barrow-wights. They’ll taw you!
Then smother you in gold-rings! Your mother if she saw you,
she’d never know her son, unless ‘twas by a whisker.

In league with Barrow Wights.

Could you speak a fair word, I would love you dearer:
long neck and dumb throat, but still a haughty sneerer!
If one day the King returns, in upping he may take you,
brand your yellow bill, and less lordly make you!’

Insults the Swan, wishing her to be branded.

‘Ware, Tom! We’ll shoot you dead with our bows and arrows!
We don’t let Forest-folk nor bogies from the Barrows
cross over Brandywine by cockle-boat nor ferry’.

Hobbits threaten Tom. Clearly, they know that he is in league with "bogies from the Barrow."

I’ll call the orks on you: that’ll send you running!

Perhaps the most incriminating evidence against Old Tom. He is, I'm afraid, in league with Orcs.

So, what have we got? He kidnapped his wife and forced her to marry him. He constantly spouts foul insults. He threatens to burn and eat people who annoy him (and generally likes to threaten people). He is in league with Barrow Wights and Orcs. Obviously he is evil, and most likely the ancestor of the modern day phenomenom we have come to know as "chavs." He was clearly an outlaw, which explains why his home is so far from civilisation.

The probable conclusion is that, being extremely anti-social, he went to live Wild amongst the animals. Seeing Goldberry, he kidnapped her and forced her into a wedding. His foul mouth meant he got on well with wandering Orcs, and his evil nature meant he had some sort of accord with the Wights, thus his ability to save Frodo and company from them. He was simply a Man, a very bad sort of Man, but still human. The Ring had no effect on him because his Fea was as corrupt as Sauron's. He probably meant to burn and eat the fat, tasty hobbits after ensnaring them, but Goldberry talked him out of it. And Fatty Lumpkin? Why do you think he was so fat...?

[solarisa]

breaking news: tom bombadil is none other than chad from school. ... ... i HATE chad!!!! fumingfumingfumingfumingfuming i wish he was old and die sometime (soon)

[Morsul the Dark]

Originally Posted by solarisa

breaking news: tom bombadil is none other than chad from school. ... ... i HATE chad!!!! fumingfumingfumingfumingfuming i wish he was old and die sometime (soon)

By joe She's got it!

but all kidding aside my boss who like chad is detestable is another LOTR fan(her only redeeming quality) she believes TOm was a huntsman who loved the woods so much and cared for them so greatly that Eru smiled upon him and gave him immortality.

however from the evidence shown by guy who be short I can presume this
Tom Bombadil is evil OR Saruman when he wandered try to ake him seem evil

Recall Gandalf's quote "And how would you do that Gimli? he(saruman) could look like me to you if it suited his purpose." So we can assume he could make himself look like ol' Tom if this were true there is a deeper power in tom than we can guess otherwise why would saruman sabatage tom?

[Morsul the Dark]

Reading an old thread there is a thread

http://forum.barrowdowns.com/showthread.php?t=11453

The Umli are completely an invention by Iron Crown Enterprises.

But perhaps with a little stretch of the imagination you could interpret this passage in The Return of the King as to refer to some kind of ‘half-dwarves’:

Maerbenn said this it is quoted from ROTK

offhand it does sound like Bombadil, they do say these fighters were grim but it was war afterall so is it possible that when not in battle IE bombadil they are overly happy could bombadil be one of these guys who migrated to the west?

Sorry for double posting

[HerenIstarion]

Tom trades in arms. That's why he's hidden in some obscure forest, guerilla (or was it gorilla? duh, whatever) fighters visit him in secret to purchase odd rocket or two.

It's all in the name, see - Bombadil-Bombadillo-Bomb'a'dealer

[The Saucepan Man]

Originally Posted by HerenIstarion

That's why he's hidden in some obscure forest, guerilla (or was it gorilla? duh, whatever) fighters visit him in secret to purchase odd rocket or two.

I'm with HI on this one. Have none of you seen the documentary film about him?

... Bombadilla's in the Mist.

*groan*

Its obvious. Tom Bombadil is simply an elemental force of nature. Perhaps, even, the spirit of the earth itself. It is quite possable that he is the closest to Eru, and thus seems to be less tempted by the prospect of power. That's all there is to it.

[solarisa]

Originally Posted by the guy who be short

He probably meant to burn and eat the fat, tasty hobbits after ensnaring them, but Goldberry talked him out of it. And Fatty Lumpkin? Why do you think he was so fat...?

apart from chad, i think, maybe, your riiigghhtt...

OR maybe we;re just thinking to much...he's probably just an old duffer outa noweres.

[AbercrombieOfRohan]

It was discussed on another thread that Tom Bombadil may have been a glorious and most noble Warg!

Originally posted by SamwiseGamgee
Who knows? It could just as easily been a warg who had aided the hobbits in their quest, perhaps a far off descendant of the wargs of Rohan? Perhaps Tom Bombadil was even a warg? It is a puzzling perplexion which I feel could be a fine debate.

Originally posted by Eomer of the Rohirrim
I do wonder if Wargs can be considered Bombadil-esque. If we consider it, we can see that the origins of Men and Elves and Dwarves and Ents are given explanation. Even Hobbits are explained better than Wargs are, being linked closely to Men. To not explain the origins of Wargs (especially considering how potent their powers are) was a strange ommision by the Good Professor.

Now, I find this theory fascinating. If I had more time to elaborate I would but right now I can't so I'll have to leave it out for discussion.