Who Would Win?

[Formendacil]

I shocked that this isn't in here yet... I really am!

In a disco contest between Boromir and... anybody...

(I'll let you guess what happens. )

[Glirdan]

In an orc killing contest between Legolas and Gimlig I'm afraid that Captain Obvious would win because he miraculously always has a full quiver of arrows!

In a hottest Steward contest between Denethor and Faramir Denethor would win because he was literally on fire where as Faramir was unfourtunately saved by Gandalf (oh no he's uncloaked again!! ) and Pippin.

[Lily Bombadil]

i'd like to see Gimli fight a toaster. I know, ridiculous--not to mention off-topic--but I'd love to see it. The toaster would start out in the lead, because it would burn Gimli, but Gimli would ultimately triumph, as he would hack it to tiny bits. Or, what if we took away his axe... Anyway, i'd like to see Gimli attack a toaster. i can just see him jumping it when the Eggo pops out!

[Glirdan]

You could say that for a lot of ME character's. But Captain Obvious would only point out after the Eggo popped out "Look! The Eggo popped out!!"

Anyway.......

In a fire contest between Sauron and Denethor Denethor would win because his body would be completely on fire. Sauron only has an Eye. Ok, a big Eye. I'll give him that, but no more.

[Valesse]

In a riddle contest between Bilbo and Gollum: Gollum would win, because, well, for being a tormented and wicked creature with an abnormally long life corrupted by the Ring... he at least played by the rules and asked riddles and not questions. Geeze, Bilbo. Gawd.

In a figure skating competition between Boromir and Gothmog: (Though an interesting crosssection) Gothmog would win, considering Boromir OBVIOUSLY tripped over nothing (as far as the judges could see) and was generally sloppy. Gothmog, however, even though he melted the ice through and found himself splashing in the suddenly boiling water (which led him to nearly incinerate the judges) rack up enough pity votes to win Miss Rohan were it his goal and, therefore, won.

In a rock climbing contest between Aragorn and a Moria Orc Aragorn, who'd barely leave the ground by the time the orc was 15 feet over head, would win because of the misfortunate destruction of said orc's life due to the interferance of that bow-twanging git, Legolas.

In the "Scariest being in Middle-Earth" with Sauron going eye-to-head with Bilbo Baggins: Sauron would suffer a crushing defeat by the ancient hobbit. Sauron is expected to be frightening... Bilbo just keeps becoming more and more like a one halfling horrorshow. (Scared me'h so bad...)

In a head banging competition pitting Pippin against Haldir: Haldir would win expecially if Gandalf were one of the judges... who'd say that Mister Took needs far more practice against the Walls of Moria.

[The 1,000 Reader]

In a Morgoth's favorite competition between Sauron and Gothmog: Gothmog would gain victory since he gained many important victories and was Morgoth's main battle captain, where as Sauron was a mere lieutenant and suffered such humiliating defeats( mostly due to stupid mistakes) that Morgoth may have very well hung him from the towers of Thangorodrim.

[Glirdan]

In a eyesight contest between the Eagles and Legolas Captain Obvious would take home the gold only because when the Eagles are in the sky the clouds block thier view. Stupid clouds!!!!!