To be complete...

[Folwren]

It’s a very interesting topic, Tigerlily, but I think the views you’ve thrown out are, well, wrong.

As Alatar said, I don’t think that we can ever be entirely whole by ourselves. I realize that it wasn’t you who said this, but rather that book, so I don’t want your feathers ruffled, but I don’t think that we can ever be entirely whole or completed by ourselves. Quite frankly, we’re all lacking.

Eowyn was lacking as well. She was hurting very deeply, and she felt empty and void within herself because she could never find anything that would fill that hole. When Aragorn came about, I think she saw a man who she would really not mind being the wife of. . .she practically idolized him. He told her that she did and that she didn’t love him, really, but a dream and a phantom and that what she had in her mind could never really come to pass.

Perhaps she was trying to prove to people that she was something more than she really was. She was indeed trying to fill that emptiness inside of her by her own power and will, but it didn’t work. Going off to war was the only way she saw of either proving herself (pretty much to herself because no one else doubted her), or dying in the attempt. When she didn’t die, she thought she was back to the same old problem. But then she met Faramir and realized that, yes, I can be myself, and someone can love me as such. Faramir didn’t look for anything deeper than what she was willing to give him. Faramir, unlike Aragorn, actually wanted to love her, and not only that, he wanted to love her for what she was, and she got to see that she really didn’t have anything to prove. She didn’t have to be able to fight, or to go to battle.

So, there are some half formed thoughts thrown out on the subject. I’ve always pondered Eowyn’s character and behavior. She’s a very intriguing character. And this topic is great for making a person think.

-- Folwren

[Morquesse]

Since Eowyn has many facets to her, it would be hard to analyse every aspect of her. The aspect I want to pick on, I think, is why she dressed up as Dernhelm. A quick answer to this is: she wants to be a guy.
Honestly, I don't recall when we meet her that she is satisfied being a woman. When asked what she feared, Eowyn gave a description of it. I think that this description is her perception of the life of a woman, any woman. She thinks that women have nothing to do, stay at home, and with nothing exciting happening except when the men return from war or the hunt. Eowyn would make a good contemporary American woman and a lousy hobbitess.
Therefore, I think Eowyn wants to be a guy, or at least return to the days of Shield-maidens. She has this nagging desire, and I think that she thinks that if Eowyn could prove herself a proper warrior, then she would feel 'whole'. I imagine that when she met Aragorn, that she didn't love him or even seek a great relationship, but she loved the idea of what he represented and what he would do. He was a future king, a hero in Rohan and Gondor, has a proceding reputation, and is the guy that any smart girl would want to marry and any father-in-law would be proud of. So I think Eowyn didn't love him, but maybe was jealous of Aragorn and wanted to be a great man of honor like him.
It could be she was jealous because she felt useless, like she feared. She wanted to do something to make people proud of her, and that's a hard thing to do (in her mind) when you're women. What Faramir did was show that Eowyn was a person entire, and that she didn't need to prove herself. I don't think that she then depended on Faramir to make her whole, but rather he showed Eowyn that people loved her the way she was.
Thanks Tigerlily for this discussion.
~M