The Hobbit Survivor - The Barrow-Downs Discussion Forum

Kuruharan · 02-19-2006, 06:29 PM

Announcer: And we’re back with MET’s continuing coverage of The Hobbit Survivor, brought to you by Ghâshwater, “It puts a fire in your belly!” Right now Smaug has charged out to a commanding lead. This has turned out to be exactly like most other overhyped advertising traps, a total bore. The ratings are plunging like Lord Denethor’s poll numbers. Not even Amanda flouncing around the sidelines in a g-string has helped. In fact, it has made things worse because H.A.G. is now absolutely livid. Lawsuits are pending and the producers are passed out cold on the floor. What’s your take on the situation Bob?

Color Commentator: Well, Cliff, it is exactly as Kuruharan the Visionary had foreseen. Smaug’s lobby has revealed themselves and the angry and bitter among the electorate have fallen back on him as the least objectionable candidate, mainly because he was so little discussed earlier. Kuruharan the Seer is currently preparing his Insufferable Gloating Speech to taunt certain individuals who have again performed exactly has he expected them to. However, he does think it a bit odd that mormegil of all people should be faulting others for being “predictable” as today is the first time he has done anything the least bit unexpected.

Announcer: Now Bob, aren’t you still having to make payments on that court settlement from the last time you criticized one of the voters?

Color Commentator: Uhhh…yes. And I’d like to again take this opportunity to apologize from the bottom (hold the cue card up higher, I can’t read it) of my heart. I’d had a lot to drink that night and should never have gotten behind the wheel…oops, wrong embarrassing incident!

Announcer: Never mind. Let’s go down to the sidelines with Amanda.

Sideline Reporter: dancing
I like to move it, move it
I like to move it, move it
I like to…

Ahem…sorry…I just have a report here from…uhhh, Cliff, what are you doing down here out of the booth?

Announcer: Well, I said I was coming down to the sidelines to join you.

Sideline Reporter: Uhh…that’s great. Would you please go to the other side of the field. Anyway, as I was saying, I have a report here on the voting status of Kuruharan the Predictor. His Excellency is not planning to vote unless it gets close and he can cause mischief. If the voting gets close he will consider. However, at the moment that does not look likely. Bob?

Color Commentator: (At last, he’s gone! The booth is mine! MINE!!) Sorry folks, I just had to get that out. One might think that Smaug’s position is unassailable. However, there is one possibility. Smaug’s position may be so commanding that it will breed resentment among subsequent voters and start a flood of votes against him. If that happens it could turn out to be an exciting finish after all. Cliff?

Announcer: I know a tiki place the two of us could slip off to as soon as this silliness is over.

Sideline Reporter: Get away from me you creep!!!

Announcer: Don’t be silly, this is love. And even if it isn’t, I still have enough money to take you to the Glitzy Caverns of Ham Steep for a veeery long time.

Sideline Reporter: Bob!!! Do something!!!

Color Commentator: We’ll be right back. (Lugdush, get me one ticket for whatever suite in the Glitzy Caverns happens to be next to the Honeymoon Suite!!)

Nilpaurion Felagund · 02-19-2006, 06:52 PM

And doom, doom unto all the world for casting out once again the Chief of the glorious race of Wargs, who under Eru are the true rulers of the World.

*shrug* Oh, well, might as well join the bandwaggon:

++Smaug, the Winged and Flying Fire-breathing Dragon

Anything better than a Balrog is a winner in my scroll.

Elu Ancalime · 02-19-2006, 07:20 PM

Quote:

Ooer, would you like a bandage for that ... ?

I think i will need the jaws of life....

Quote:

Not even Amanda flouncing around the sidelines in a g-string has helped

Friggun' sweet! I can tell your having a blast with this, Kuru.
________
MAZDA AZ-WAGON HISTORY

arcticstorm · 02-20-2006, 10:51 AM

The time has come to reveal my true choice for victory. The one i have been rooting for since day 1. I needed to hide his identity, so i rallied behind the warg, who truly deserved a runners-up finish. BUt only one candidate is truly deserving of the title "hobbit survivor" and this character is a hobbit. He invented the game of golf by decapitating an orc. I do not think you can do mch better than that.
++Bullroarer

Tuor in Gondolin · 02-20-2006, 11:20 AM

Smaug certainly "deserves" to win, having been
betrayed by thief Baggins as to his being exposed
in the region of the, ah, chest, and the Bullroarer would
be selected but for his sad error in unadvertently
inventing the game of golf, so, since Gloin was so
polite to Frodo at Rivendell, helping him up and all:

+ + Gloin

Formendacil · 02-20-2006, 12:57 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by arcticstorm

He invented the game of golf by decapitating an orc. I do not think you can do mch better than that.

You do realise, of course, that quite a number of people around here consider that good enough reason to be rid of him!

Expensive, exclusive, silly game!

Eomer of the Rohirrim · 02-20-2006, 02:16 PM

It's true. How many Wargs do you see down at the Country Club?

Anyway, I don't think I'll vote. I'm too horrified by the death of the wonderful, beautiful, righteous, transcendent Chief of Wargs to maintain an interest in this competition.

He got the moral victory, I say!

Thinlómien · 02-20-2006, 05:29 PM

I really like him - but there's no other chance:

++Gloin

02-19-2006, 06:29 PM	#1
Kuruharan Regal Dwarven Shade Join Date: Jan 2002 Location: A Remote Dwarven Hold Posts: 3,593	Announcer: And we’re back with MET’s continuing coverage of The Hobbit Survivor, brought to you by Ghâshwater, “It puts a fire in your belly!” Right now Smaug has charged out to a commanding lead. This has turned out to be exactly like most other overhyped advertising traps, a total bore. The ratings are plunging like Lord Denethor’s poll numbers. Not even Amanda flouncing around the sidelines in a g-string has helped. In fact, it has made things worse because H.A.G. is now absolutely livid. Lawsuits are pending and the producers are passed out cold on the floor. What’s your take on the situation Bob? Color Commentator: Well, Cliff, it is exactly as Kuruharan the Visionary had foreseen. Smaug’s lobby has revealed themselves and the angry and bitter among the electorate have fallen back on him as the least objectionable candidate, mainly because he was so little discussed earlier. Kuruharan the Seer is currently preparing his Insufferable Gloating Speech to taunt certain individuals who have again performed exactly has he expected them to. However, he does think it a bit odd that mormegil of all people should be faulting others for being “predictable” as today is the first time he has done anything the least bit unexpected. Announcer: Now Bob, aren’t you still having to make payments on that court settlement from the last time you criticized one of the voters? Color Commentator: Uhhh…yes. And I’d like to again take this opportunity to apologize from the bottom (hold the cue card up higher, I can’t read it) of my heart. I’d had a lot to drink that night and should never have gotten behind the wheel…oops, wrong embarrassing incident! Announcer: Never mind. Let’s go down to the sidelines with Amanda. Sideline Reporter: dancing I like to move it, move it I like to move it, move it I like to… Ahem…sorry…I just have a report here from…uhhh, Cliff, what are you doing down here out of the booth? Announcer: Well, I said I was coming down to the sidelines to join you. Sideline Reporter: Uhh…that’s great. Would you please go to the other side of the field. Anyway, as I was saying, I have a report here on the voting status of Kuruharan the Predictor. His Excellency is not planning to vote unless it gets close and he can cause mischief. If the voting gets close he will consider. However, at the moment that does not look likely. Bob? Color Commentator: (At last, he’s gone! The booth is mine! MINE!!) Sorry folks, I just had to get that out. One might think that Smaug’s position is unassailable. However, there is one possibility. Smaug’s position may be so commanding that it will breed resentment among subsequent voters and start a flood of votes against him. If that happens it could turn out to be an exciting finish after all. Cliff? Announcer: I know a tiki place the two of us could slip off to as soon as this silliness is over. Sideline Reporter: Get away from me you creep!!! Announcer: Don’t be silly, this is love. And even if it isn’t, I still have enough money to take you to the Glitzy Caverns of Ham Steep for a veeery long time. Sideline Reporter: Bob!!! Do something!!! Color Commentator: We’ll be right back. (Lugdush, get me one ticket for whatever suite in the Glitzy Caverns happens to be next to the Honeymoon Suite!!) __________________ ...finding a path that cannot be found, walking a road that cannot be seen, climbing a ladder that was never placed, or reading a paragraph that has no... Last edited by Kuruharan; 02-19-2006 at 06:34 PM.

02-19-2006, 06:52 PM	#2
Nilpaurion Felagund Scion of The Faithful Join Date: Apr 2003 Location: The brink, where hope and despair are akin. [The Philippines] Posts: 5,312	Black despair! And doom, doom unto all the world for casting out once again the Chief of the glorious race of Wargs, who under Eru are the true rulers of the World. shrug Oh, well, might as well join the bandwaggon: *++Smaug, the Winged and Flying* Fire-breathing Dragon** Anything better than a Balrog is a winner in my scroll. __________________ フェンリス鴨 (Fenrisu Kamo) The plot, cut, defeated. I intend to copy this sig forever - so far so good...

02-20-2006, 11:20 AM	#5
Tuor in Gondolin Ghost Prince of Cardolan Join Date: Sep 2005 Location: Southeast Pennsylvania Posts: 3,651	Smaug certainly "deserves" to win, having been betrayed by thief Baggins as to his being exposed in the region of the, ah, chest, and the Bullroarer would be selected but for his sad error in unadvertently inventing the game of golf, so, since Gloin was so polite to Frodo at Rivendell, helping him up and all: + + Gloin __________________ The poster formerly known as Tuor of Gondolin. Walking To Rivendell and beyond 12,555 miles passed Nt./Day 5: Pass the beacon on Nardol, the 'Fire Hill.'

02-20-2006, 02:16 PM	#7
Eomer of the Rohirrim Auspicious Wraith Join Date: May 2002 Location: The Netherlands Posts: 4,859	It's true. How many Wargs do you see down at the Country Club? Anyway, I don't think I'll vote. I'm too horrified by the death of the wonderful, beautiful, righteous, transcendent Chief of Wargs to maintain an interest in this competition. He got the moral victory, I say! __________________ Los Ingobernables de Harlond

02-20-2006, 05:29 PM	#8
Thinlómien Shady She-Penguin Join Date: Dec 2004 Location: In a far land beyond the Sea Posts: 8,093	I really like him - but there's no other chance: ++Gloin __________________ Like the stars chase the sun, over the glowing hill I will conquer Blood is running deep, some things never sleep Double Fenris

02-20-2006, 10:51 AM	#4
arcticstorm Shade of Carn Dûm Join Date: Aug 2004 Location: Johnson Bible College: Knoxville, TN Posts: 464	The time has come to reveal my true choice for victory. The one i have been rooting for since day 1. I needed to hide his identity, so i rallied behind the warg, who truly deserved a runners-up finish. BUt only one candidate is truly deserving of the title "hobbit survivor" and this character is a hobbit. He invented the game of golf by decapitating an orc. I do not think you can do mch better than that. ++Bullroarer

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