The Mount Zoom Challenge - GAME

[Formendacil]

Denethor

Minas Tirith was again running, but Denethor was in a rather bad mood.

"Porcupines! Of all the nasty creatures! Why couldn't it have been platypuses or something?" he muttered. "We're probably leagues behind the other teams! Confound them all!"

He shook his head. It had been a long night, and he was tired.

"Father," Faramir poked his head into the control room, "you're looking very tired. Should I take the helm?"

"Nonsense!" said Denethor. "I'm as fit as a fiddle."

"More like a bass fiddle," muttered Faramir to himself.

"What was that?" demanded Denethor sharply. "You're starting to mumble. It's time you went to bed! It's hours past your bedtime."

"I'm a grown man!" protested Faramir.

"You're still beholden to obey the Lord and Steward of the Realm, though, are you not?" snapped Denethor.

"Yes, but you're no longer the Lord of the Realm- that's King Elessar," pointed out Denethor.

"I'm still the Steward though!" said Denethor, a dangerous glint in his eyes. "You. BED. Now."

"But we aren't even in the realm..." protested Faramir.

"You are a citizen of Gondor, no matter where we are!" said Denethor with a glare, "and Minas Tirith is a part of the Realm of Gondor, no matter where she drives!"

"All right! All right! I'm going to bed!" said Faramir. "Maybe you should park the city while we both sleep."

"Nonsense!" scoffed Denethor. "We've been held up long enough as it is. You sleep, I'll drive."

Still looking hesitant, Faramir exited the tower. Denethor continued to mutter under his breath long after his son had fallen asleep.

"Thinks me senile... Ha! I'm only a year older than Thorongil- and you don't hear people calling HIM senile... Fall asleep indeed.... Calls me a bass fiddle does he? At least it's manly... He's nothing but a piccollo! Why isn't Boromir here, anyway? Great man, Boromir... Takes after his father... Good man, his father.... Wise man... never uncloaks, him... Yes, I never uncloak... Confound Mithrandir... definitely confound him... zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz......"

The next thought that Denethor remembered came to him when he awoke suddenly, face splayed against the helm. Faramir was shaking him awake.

"Father! Father! Are you all right? Have you had a stroke? Or heart attack???"

Denethor roused himself, and stood up.

"Nonsense, I just dozed off... How long have I been out?"

"Probably three hours," said Faramir. "Húrin said he noticed the city start to veer at that time, but he assumed that you were just taking us on a new course. But when we got stuck in giant spiderweb, he went and got me- and here I am."

"It can't be three hours," said Denethor. "It was just a moment or two, I'm sure. Wait- you said something about a giant spiderweb?"

"Yes, the city is stuck in one," replied Faramir, and gestured out the window. Denethor peered out. His jaw dropped. An huge orb web hung between two tall peaks of the Misty Mountains. And the front of the city was stuck right in it, from the bottom circle up to the top of the spine of stone on which the troll statue was set.

Denethor licked his lips anxiously, swallowed, and turned to Faramir. "Any sign of the spider?"

"Not yet..." replied Faramir.

[Meneltarmacil]

A bit of a problem...

While Saruman had gone upstairs to get some rest, Grima had been driving Orth-Tank steadily along.

He soon grew tired of this and began to hum some music to himself, not paying any attention to what the tower was doing. Eventually, he drifted off to sleep.

This didn't last long, however, as the tower came to a sudden stop with a loud SSSSQQQQUUUUIIIISSSSHHH. A huge spiderweb held them fast.

Saruman charged downstairs to where Grima was still sleeping on the job and woke him up by bellowing the usual set of curses, insults, and threats at him. Grima, as usual, responded with the best "Duh?" he could muster.

"Well," said the wizard, "no thanks to your lazyness, we're stuck in a gigantic web. I don't suppose you have any ideas as to how to get us OUT of what you've gotten us into?"

"I, uh, might," Grima responded, "but, um, uh, it would be a little, uhhhhh"

"WHAT?!" Saruman yellled.

"I was going to suggest you get your lawyer to sue the spider for being a hazard to navigation, but I thought it would be a little too evil even for us." finished Grima.

[Maeggaladiel]

Stranded!


Sauron was dreaming of pretty pink ponies and cupcakes, and innocent villagers being burned alive. It was a good dream.

He was just about to bite into a chocolate cupcake with mocha sprinkles when Mouth started screaming at him to wake up.

"My lord!" Mouth's voice cried out, forcing the cupcake to dissappear in a puff of turqoise smoke and miniature turtles with wings. "My lord!"

"BWHUZZZAH?" Sauron asked groggily as the dream fizzled away into nothingness. "WAIT CUPCAKE! DON'T LEAVE! I- OH. IT IS YOU, MOUTH."

The Dark Lord's head ached. Groaning, he raised his hand and scratched his iron helm. There was a large dent in the metal.


"HWUH?" Saruon asked. "WHAT HAPPENED?"

"I'm not sure, my lord," Mouth answered honestly. "I think we were attacked and knocked out."

Sauron thought about this. He looked around him; the inside of Mount Zoom seemed much more.... natural.

"WE'VE BEEN ROBBED!" Sauron boomed. Mouth's headache became ten times worse.

"Yes, my lord," Mouth replied. "Someone stole--"

"SOMEONE HAS STOLEN THE INTERIOR OF MOUNT ZOOM AND REPLACED IT WITH OUTDOORS!" The dark lord stood and looked around.

"They stole ALL of Mount Zoom, my lord," Mouth corrected wearily. "And they've left us stranded here."

Sauron rubbed his chin thoughtfully, creating a horrible metal-on-metal squeal as he did so.

"I SUSPECT THAT GNOMEY THE DWARF FELLOW HAD SOMETHING TO DO WITH IT," Saurons said.

"DWARFY the Dwarf," Mouth corrected.

"SAME DIFFERENCE. ALL THAT MATTERS IS THAT WE FIND MOUNT ZOO-- WHAT WAS THAT?"

There were sounds coming from behind them. They were not alone in this place. Something deep inside of Sauron recognized the presence. It was... familiar, somehow. It was...

"HOBBITS!" Sauron roared angrily. "THOSE LITTLE RING-THEIVES ARE HERE, MOUTH OF ME! I CAN FEEL IT!"

"Well, maybe they're stranded too. Perhaps we should join forces or--" SMACK! Mouth got a fist of iron on the top of his head.

"COME BACK TO YOUR SENSES!" Sauron said. "US? JOIN FORCES WITH THE HOBBITS!? WE MUST DO WHAT IS IMPORTANT HERE, MOUTH."

"Find Mt. Zoom?"

"MAAAAYBE.... OR FIND MY RING. WHICHEVER WE COME ACROSS FIRST."

Mouth raised an eyebrow. Sauron finally stared down at the ground sullenly.

"FINE," he muttered. "WE'LL FIND THE MOUNTAIN...."

[Formendacil]

Denethor

Denethor and Faramir stared dumbly- and glumly- at the giant spiderweb for a good five minutes before saying anything. And by "dumbly", I do not mean that they were stupid- although some have said that. No, I mean that they were silent. Mute.

Then, rather suddenly, Beregond came tearing into the control room.

"Lord Faramir! We've found it!"

"What?" said Denethor, shaken out his his reverie.

"The Spider, milord, we've found it!"

"No, I mean what do you mean talking to Faramir first?" said Denethor. "I am still the Lord and Steward of this city, am I not?"

"Er... yes... but it was Lord Faramir who ordered that we find the spider," explained Beregond.

"You did this without consulting me?" Denethor narrowed his eyes at Faramir.

"You were asleep, Father!"

"That's no excuse! Anyway, where is this spider?" Denethor turned back to Beregond.

"It's just around that outcropping of stone, sleeping!" said Faramir. "We would have tried to pre-emptively kill it, but we found ourselves shaking too hard to hold our weapons steady, so we fled- that is to say, we retreated, back to the city."

"I think I hear something," interrupted Faramir.

"What do you mean, you hear something?" said Denethor.

"Be quiet and listen!"

"Are you telling me to be quiet!" Denethor roared, but the noise that Denethor was hearing was suddenly a great deal louder, as though the volume had been turned up.

"Is that... music?" asked Faramir.

"It has a beat," said Denethor, "but I wouldn't call it music."

"Verily, milord," said Húrin, "that is known as music. I believe the younger generation calls it 'hip-hop'."

Even as they were discussing the "music", the spider clambered over the outcropping of rock, and into their view. It began to wiggle and shake in time with the music.

"What is that horrid spider up to?" asked Denethor in revulsion. "And look at it's size- it must be the offspring of Ungoliant herself!"

"I think it's dancing..." said Faramir.

"A Dancing Spawn of Ungoliant!" said Denethor, amazed. "Now I've seen everything."

"We're still no closer to getting out of here," pointed out Faramir. "And now the beast is awake."

[Maeggaladiel]

Sauron and Mouth had been walking around aimlessly for some time, searching for Mount Zoom. They had made certain to steer clear of the Hobbits, because Mouth knew that the Dark Lord could be a little obsessive when it came to his precious ring. After all, if he had his ring again, he would have the awesome power to make Mt. Zoom far more fuel efficient. And what with the price of gasoline these days, he really couldn't afford NOT to have it.

"HOW COULD ANYBODY HIDE AN ENTIRE MOUNTAIN ON WHEELS?" Sauron grumbled. He grabbed a rock and lifted it. A centipede scurried away, robbed of its hiding spot. "NOT HERE, EITHER."

"My lord, how could--OW!" Mouth was interrupted as something small and hard fell onto his head. "What the ruddy Morgoth was that?!" He looked down. A shiny black rock was at his feet. He picked it up. "What's this?"

The Dark Lord leaned forward and took the rock from Mouth. He turned it over in his hand and looked at it with an experienced eye.

"OBSIDIAN," Sauron remarked casually. "VOLCANIC GLASS. TRUST ME; I KNOW A FEW THINGS ABOUT VOLCANIC ROCK. MOUNT ZOOM IS A VOLCANO, AFTER ALL."

"Why on Middle Earth would volcanic glass fall from the sky?" grumbled Mouth.

You could almost see the little thought lightbulbs appearing over their heads. Slowly, Mouth and Sauron looked up.

"HOLY WING OF BALROG!!!" Sauron cursed. "WHAT IN THE NAME OF EVIL IS THAT?!"

The great Mt Zoom was suspended in midair, wrapped in a shining white substance that was stretched between a rock cliff and some trees.

"Must be some pretty sturdy trees," remarked Mouth. "And some pretty strong rope. To think, Mt. Zoom was right under our noses the whole time."

"ABOVE OUR NOSES," Sauron corrected.

"Quite."

They stared at Mt. Zoom for a while, in silence.

"So what now?" Mouth asked.

"WE MUST GET IT DOWN," Sauron said. "I'LL CALL THE RAT WRAITHS TO THROW A ROPE OUT THE WINDOW. RAT WRAAAAAIITHS!"

Sauron waited, but there was no reply. He tried again. And again.

"WHAT COULD THEY BE DOING UP THERE?" he asked.

Finally, they heard a tiny sound drifting through the window.

"squeeekie... squieeekeesqueekiee! SQUEEEK."

"What do they say, My Lord?" asked Mouth. Sauron sighed.

"OH YEAH, LIKE I CAN SPEAK RAT." he said flatly.

If Sauron had learned to speak rat, and then the southern Rat Wraith dialect, he might have heard something like, "We're stuck to a giant web and can't come to the window right now. Please leave a message after the 'squeak' and we'll get back to you as soon as we can. SQUEEEEK."

[Meneltarmacil]

The spider crawled down the web, intent on devouring what it had caught. But standing before it on the balcony of Orth-Tank was a truly horrifying sight.

A man wearing a suit and carrying a briefcase was reading some kind of important document.

"Your web, spider, is clearly a hazard to navigation in this area. Since you knowingly put this giant web up to catch food though this was clearly a major route of travel in the country of Rohan, you must pay a sum of money of at least..."

"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAGGGGGGGGGHHHHH!" the spider shrieked. It fell off the web, extremely pale and extremely dead as well. Saruman's lawyer had destroyed it quickly, efficiently, and mercilessly.

The Uruk-Hai burned off the webs and the tower drove off WEST toward the Gap of Rohan.

[Alcarillo]

On Minas Soar-gul

The flying city of Minas Mor-go offered a much smoother ride than was expected, though at times it got a bit windy out. By now the city had reached the foothills of the Misty Mountains. The High Pass could be seen in the distance.

The Witch-king sat back in his leather armchair, chatting amiably with Khamûl over piña coladas. The other Ringwraiths were elsewhere, having been sent off on errands across the city.

"Hah! I sent #4 to scrub the toilets!" boasted the Witch-king.

"Well, I sent #3 to go make us more piña coladas!" said Khamûl.

The two threw back their heads and laughed. But their laughter did not last long. Suddenly, Minas Mor-go (or Minas Soar-gul, as it was called while in flight) halted in mid-air. The city slumped to one side, but did not fall to the ground. The flying beasts screamed and became tangled in dozens of white, taut strands. The city was ensnared. It bounced up and down a few times before coming to a rest. The other Ringwraiths ran up to the gate to see what had happened. King Eänur's ghost had drifted up, too.

"I felt us stop. Are we there yet?"

"No, idiot!" said the Witch-king. "We're caught in what looks like a giant spider's web."

And sure enough, they were captured in a giant web, spanning the distance between two great pinnacles of rock.

"Where's the spider?" asked #4. His knees started to shake and knock together. It was no secret that he was afraid of spiders.

"There!" shouted #9, pointing to a corner of the web. And there, curled up, lay the fearsome spider, poking one of the flying beasts with a leg to see how tender it was. The spider's eyes were as large as watermelons, and its fangs were as long as a man is tall. Its legs were covered by bristly black hairs. #4 fainted. The Witch-king kicked him and #4 came to, but still had to avert his eyes so he wouldn’t feel faint.

"How are we going to get out of this web?" asked #3.

"Easily, idiot. We cut ourselves out," said Khamûl.

"Exactly," said the Witch-king, "But we need to distract the spider while we cut. And I have a plan. #s 7-9, go find enough wood for a catapult. #5 and #6, go find nails, ropes and hammers. I have a plan."

"Wh-what's that?" asked #4, dreading the answer.

"We build a catapult, idiot," said the Witch-king, "And we launch you near the spider! While the spider's busy wrapping you up in its threads, we cut ourselves out and voila! we're freed."

"Me? And the spider? But-but how are you going to get me back once you've launched me?"

The Witch-king shrugged. "We'll cross that bridge when we come to it. Now go make yourself useful!"

And #s 5-9 ran off to find the proper construction materials, while #4 ran away sobbing to contemplate his fate. #3 followed him to provide emotional support.

[The Saucepan Man]

Over Hill and Under the Influence

Bag-Endless-Fuel was almost though the Misty Mountains. The journey over the High Pass had proved uneventful so far and the little burrow-buggy was fast approaching Rivendell.

All of a sudden, a helmeted figure in overalls stepped out into the path of the mobile hobbit-home, brandishing what appeared to be a lollipop with the word ‘STOP!’ emblazoned on it. As Bag-Endless-Fuel obligingly came to a halt, it was immediately surrounded by a crew of similarly attired fellows, who promptly set about, variously, jacking, changing, tightening, adjusting, hammering and polishing.

“Ah. It looks like Elrond has laid on a much-needed pit-stop for us,” remarked Bilbo.

Behind him, unnoticed where it hung on the wall, the Elven blade Sting began to glow a pale blue.

As they worked, the mechanics started to sing.

Pack! Stack! The black track!
Grip, crank! Wrench, yank!
We’ll fit from Goblin-pits
New tyres, my lads!

“New tyres!” exclaimed Frodo joyfully. “Rad’s magic was good while it lasted, but we could certainly do with some fresh rubber.”

“Did they say ‘Goblin-pits’?” enquired Pippin, anxiously munching on a chicken wing.

“Don’t be silly, Pip,” relied Merry. “Elrond wouldn’t employ Goblins in his pit-crew.”

Nuts, bolts! From Goblin vaults!
Spanner and drill! Hammer at will!
Polish, shine, More streamline!
It's fine, my lads!

“Good. They’re adjusting the front wing,” noted Bilbo. “That should give us better down force.”

“You know, I’m sure I heard the word ‘Goblin’,” piped up Pippin again.

“Nonsense, my lad,” Bilbo reassured him. “Look. They’re handing out drinks now.”

Thirsty from their endeavours in the race, the Hobbits gratefully took the proffered bottles, as the mechanics continued their song.

Sup, swig! Quaff, drink!
Swagger and sway! Stagger and stray!
Glug, glug! The grog is drugged,
While Bag-End gleams, we Goblins scheme,
To take it by force way off course
It’s dire, my lads!

“Phew! Thatsh strong shtuff!” declared Bilbo, swaying unsteadily.

“Cshertainly putsh bire in yer felly, as gy Maffer would shay,” remarked Samwise.

“Feeling … shleepy …” murmured Frodo.

“Mmm. Not bad,” Pippin added, and promptly fell over - swiftly followed by his companions and the remainder of Bag-Endless Fuel’s crew.

***********************************
“Ouch! My head!” groaned Bilbo, as he slowly came round.

“Feels like the room’s spinning,” said Frodo, rubbing his eyes.

“That’s because it is,” observed Merry.

“Eh? That’s not right,” said Bilbo. “It’s not designed to spin.”

“And I wonder why it is so misty outside?” added Frodo, peering through the window at the white mist which appeared to be obscuring the view. “I know they’re called the Misty Mountains, but …”

“We’re not in the Misty Mountains any more,” interrupted Merry, from his post at the navigational sideboard. “We appear to be some 500 miles south-west of the High Pass, in the Drúwaith Iaur, and some 50 feet above the ground.”

“I don’t think that we’re supposed to be here,” remarked Sam.

“And I don’t think we want to be, either,” said Pippin, appearing at the hearth, his face white as a sheet. He had awoken first and, finding the door jammed, had climbed up to the thrush’s nest to take his bearings. “We appear to be caught in a giant spider’s web,” he continued. “The chimney’s clear of it, but not much else.”

“How do you know it’s a spider’s web?” asked Merry.

“Because I saw the spider!” he wailed, reason surrendering to fear. “It’s big and it’s hairy and it’s got nasty great fangs and …”

He broke off, gibbering.

“Quick, to the library! There’s not a moment to lose!” ordered Bilbo, taking Sting down from the wall. “I believe that I have just the thing.”

For what seemed like ages, the Hobbits stood watching Bilbo searching among the great, dusty tomes of his library.

“Found it!” he suddenly cried, taking down a slim packet from one of the shelves.

“What is it, Uncle Bilbo?” asked Frodo.

“This, my boy,” replied Bilbo, removing a shiny, silver disc from the packet. “Is the File of Galadriel!”

[dancing spawn of ungoliant]

Faramir:



The beast started climbing down the net, and a few meters above the Gondorians' heads it halted and let out a shriek:

"Don't just stand there, let's get to it, strike a pose, there's nothing to it. Vogue!"

During the last sentence, it leaped in the air and landed in a way that she, no doubt, considered to be a graceful pose.

"I take back what I said earlier", Denethor muttered glowering the spread-eagle spider. "Now I've seen everything."

"It's going to eat us all alive", whimpered Faramir.

"Yo! Eat ya?" the arachnid piped up. "You gotta be kiddin'! You have- what, 15% fat? And da old man's even more" she wagged her hairy leg at Denethor. "Nah, I ain't gonna eat you. Yet" she added and winked three of her eight eyes impishly.

"It's this fur coat", Denethor whispered defensively to Faramir and Húrin. "Inside it I'm still firm and tough as young beech!"

"And as flammable, too", remarked Faramir.

"Let's dance!", the spider hissed.

"Right. Húrin!" Denethor said hurriedly. "Gather a group of guerillas and find out how we can get off of this dratted web. And Faramir, we'd better obey that morbid creature and keep it in a good mood until Húrin gets back."

"But... I can't dance!" Faramir cried anxiously.

"You can't?" Denethor frowned. "What do they teach in the army!"

"C'mon, shake it!" the arachnid bellowed, and its massive body trembled like jelly.

"If only my firstborn was here", sighed Denethor.

"Oh, you wish now that our places had been exchanged. That I had stayed at home and Boromir had joined the race instead!"

"Well, he's the Disco King, isn't he?"

"Yes, but-"

"And what are you, eh?"

"A polka prince", Faramir said and blushed.

"That's right, my son. But don't worry. As it happens, I can remember some moves from my youth. Now, pay attention and follow my lead."

And Denethor started spinning around and waving his arms as though he had been swimming. Then he started moonwalking around the stony yard. The spider blinked all her eyes and stared at Denethor and Faramir who tried to mimic his father as well as he could. She let out a little snort, but politely covered her mouth with her front legs.

"Wave your arms, son! Faster!" exclaimed Denethor.

"That's the chicken dance, dad" Faramir said in disbelief.

"So, you know the moves then", Denethor yelled back grinning wildly.

Soon the spider couldn't be bothered to hide her amusement, and it gargled and hiccoughed hysterically pointing at Denethor and Faramir. The gargling changed into outright guffawing and the whole web shook as the gigantic beast rolled around in spasms of laughter. She couldn't keep her grip of the web anymore and with a loud thud she fell on the ground. Far below Denethor and Faramir could hear hollow heehawing and they caught a sight of a mess of hairy legs wriggling towards the skies.

"It couldn't be that bad", Denethor said worriedly.

"I don't think it matters very much", panted Faramir. "Now it's our chance to escape! Where's Húrin?"

[Alcarillo]

Minas Mor-go is freed

The Ringwraiths worked furiously to build the catapult. The spider was slowly approaching, but was repelled away from the city by several well-thrown rocks. The spider retreated back to its corner of the web, and the Ringwraiths were able to finish their catapult.

It was soon finished. The Witch-king walked around it, surveying it from every angle.

"These beams aren't exactly even, and the ropes are fraying in a few places, but it'll do," he said. "Now, I want this thing aimed near that spider! #4'll distract it while we cut the city free."

The catapult was aimed and #4, whimpering, crawled in.

"Cry me a river, build a bridge, and get over it," said the Witch-king, quipping a particular insult he had been dying to say for ages. "Now, #5, ready your sword, and when I say NOW, cut the rope that'll launch #4 at the spider."

#5 unsheathed his sword and stood at the ready. "Now!" said the Witch-king, and #5 chopped through a rope, sending the catapult's arm swinging, launching poor #4 through the air. He landed on the web, and stuck there, bobbing slowly up and down until the web came to a rest. And then the spider noticed him. It crawled over and poked him with one large, hairy leg. #4 screamed. He was too scared to faint.

"Now, boy, unsheathe your swords, cut the city loose while we have a chance!" shouted the Witch-king.

With a mighty SHHHINNNNG their swords were out and they started chopping away at the threads tangled around the flying steeds of the Ringwraiths. They were freed, and the great monsters beat their wings, and tried to pull the city out of the web. They strained with all their strength, and after a great sucking *pop*, the city was pulled free. It swung dangerously in the air, but the flying steeds were able to level the city.

"Look at #4!" shouted #3, and all eyes were turned onto the web. #4, still screaming his head off, was being wrapped head to foot in the spider's sticky thread. "We have to save him!"

"Alright, then," said the Witch-king, "Once we're lowered onto the ground you and a few others can untie a few of the flying steeds and rescue him."

By now poor #4 was completely coated in webbing. The giant spider tucked him under its hairy arm and began to climb one of the giant stone pinnacles to either side of the web. #s 3, 5, 6, and 7 leapt upon their fell, flying monsters once Minas Mor-go was safely on the ground, and they flew up to where the spider climbed up the rock pinnacle. They swooped close, reaching out with their swords, trying to stab the gigantic spider. But none could get close enough to give the spider more than a scratch.

The spider kept climbing, until it reached the very top of the pinnacle. It set poor #4 down on top. He was still screaming, but had managed to cut apart a few threads of his cocoon with a convenient Khand-army knife. The spider reared up on its hind legs, and beat its forelegs against its chest and roared in triumph. But the fight had just begun. The Ringwraiths swooped closer, and then again, trying to topple the giant spider. And all the while, #4 struggled to free himself. The Ringwraiths swooped around once more, and the spider reached into the air and whacked #7's flying steed to the ground. The spider roared once more, but as it did so the flying monsters of the Ringwraiths soared near, and #3 leant far out with his sword and stabbed it deep into the beast's shoulder. The spider howled in pain. And then again, and again – another sword and then another hit the spider. It began slipping from its high perch. Another stab, and it was clawing at the rock face in desperation. Its end was near.

By now #4 had freed himself, and he stood feebly upon the pinnacle. The spider was hanging on by a single leg, and #4 still had the strength to stab it with his knife. The spider fell from the pinnacle, roaring in anger all the way down, and it hit the ground dead. All of the Ringwraiths rejoiced. #4 fainted.

"The flying Ringwraiths got it! Haha!" shouted Khamûl.

"No," muttered the Witch-king. He peered over the walls of the city at the spider's body. "It was #4 killed the beast."

#4 was rescued, the spider was dead, and Minas Mor-go was freed from the spider web. They were soon airborne again, and the Witch-king called all of the Ringwraiths to the gates.

"Now, my friends," he said from his armchair, "we must resolve an urgent piece of business: in what direction will we fly next?"

"To the High Pass!" cried Khamûl.

"Amen!" cried everybody else, and Minas Mor-go, or Minas Soar-gul as it was now called, soared away into the west.

[Valier]

Medul-zoom "The curse"


Eowyn: "Dang this stupid brush! My hair will be ruined if I don't get this out soon!" *pulls uselessly at the brush tangled in her hair*

All of a sudden the great Medul-zoom gave a lurch and came to a jolting stop. The brush that was tangled now was held freely in the hand of Eowyn.

Eowyn: "Well that solves one problem,but why have we stopped?" *leaves her room to see what's going on*

Theoden: "What now? Hama go have a look and see why we have stopped, we must be far behind the other racers and the shame of it is driving me insane!"

Hama cautiously opens the doors and steps outside.

Hama: "my Lord! We seem to be caught in a web of some sort!"

Theoden:"A web?

Hama: "Yes me Lord a web!"

Theoden: "A web dear Hama?"

Eowyn: "Let's not start this again!! Is there a spider present Hama?"

Hama: "ummmmm I think that lump over there is the spider." *points to a large greenish lump*

Theoden: "well what is it doing? Does it not know who I am? Go Hama and tell him to release us at once!"

Hama: "Sir I don't think we should get too close.."

Eowyn: "I say we poke it with a stick from here."

Theoden: "good idea! Sticks!! We need sticks!"

Hama: " Sticks! Get us some sticks!"

After many sticks were retrieved they tied them all together and made one long giant spider pokin' stick

They inched the stick towards the spider, little by little.

*Poke, Poke, Poke*

Eowyn: " Hey! Spider! Hey!"

Spider: *barely lifting it's head* " Dave? Dave's not here man!" *goes back to doing whatever it was it was doing*

Theoden: "Dave? Who is this Dave?"

Eowyn: *Pokes the spider again* "Umm Dave is it? Can you please let little old me pass through your web?"

Spider: "I said Dave's not here man, now get lost! Your ruining my buzz"

Theoden: "buzz? I thought it was a spider?"

Eowyn: *sighs* Ok then spider we will just cut through your web here and be on our way!"

Spider: *rolls towards them and lets out a huge cloud of smoke? from his mouth* No way dudes! I can not allow you to do that! I've got it exactly the way I want it! You'll just have to rot there....I am a vegan and your smell is revolting, so stay over there!"

Theoden: " Well I never! I will not stay here and rot! *turns to Hama and Eowyn* We must come up with a plan to distract that, there spider before we fall into last place!"

Hama: " Well me Lord what do you have in mind?"

The three put their heads together (literally) and came up with a plan.

A SHORT TIME LATER

Eowyn: "Yoohooo Dave!"

Spider: *rolls to face the group* What do you want? I told you to just stay there and not make any noise"

Eowyn: " Well we have decided if you do not set us free, we will put a curse on you!"

Spider: " A curse eh?...what kinda curse?"

Eowyn: " The worse curse ever! The shinning! Every time you look over here at us poor stranded people you will see nothing but blood!"

Spider: "Hee hee hee Blood eh? right.....*turns over and goes back to sleep*

Eowyn: "Alright but don't say we did not warn you!"

Theoden gave a sign and the Eorlingas began to cut through the web, while Theoden, Eowyn, and Hama began to odulate their arms in the air, yelling deedledoo, deedledoo, deedledoo!

The spider began to become annoyed with all the noise, so he turned himself to face the three again. As he rolled his massive self to look at the Hall a horrific sight began to take shape before his eyes. The spider began to sweat and shake with fear. The great doors to Medul-zoom began to open....wave upon wave of crimson blood began to pour out, heading towards where the spider lay.

Eowyn:"It is working! I think all that smoke is affecting his brain!"

Spider: "EEEWWWWWW there's blood everywhere!!! You know I am a vegan! This will never come out of my web now! (gag) The smell!!! (gag,gag) I can not possibly live here now dudes! I'm outta here! You can stay here you dang murderers!"

*The three look at each other and giggled.*


With a sad little hop the spider was over the edge of the web and was floating away on the wind, never to be seen again

With one last cut of a sword, The great Medul-Zoom fell the short distance to the ground and was once again on their way.

Eowyn: " I wonder what will be next? stray cats? Well upon every great success I must return to my chambers and change my attire...tootles..."

Theoden: How does she own that many clothes? I only own four outfits...*turns to Hama and says in a whiney voice* Hammmmaaaaa....I want more clothes than Eowyn has....I am the King you know....

Hama: "Yes me lord I will see what I can do.."

Theoden: "But I want them now...."

Hama: " I said I will see what I can do Lord, now which way are we to be heading?"

Theoden: *pouting* I say we head again for the HIGH PASS, we may still be in this!"