ATM II RPG

[Diamond18]

Skittles had grown tired of doing backflips and reverted to sitting cross-legged on the stone-tiled floor, playing jumping jacks, when all of a sudden with a loud crack Dracomir appeared beside her.

Oy, she thought enviously, how does he do that?

"Couldn't be bothered to wait for that lot. C'mon-let's go and find Roggie."

Skittles untangled her legs, pocketed her jacks and bouncy rubber ball, and leapt to her feet. "Can we appear in front of him with a loud, sudden crack and give him a fright?" she asked eagerly. When startled, Roggie tended to expell flames in a most entertaining, if dangerous, manner.

"Er, well..." Dracomir's bravado faded just a bit. "Roggie's further away and a being of more power. I could tell what direction he was in (North, South etc), but nothing more."

Skittles was unfazed. "So. What direction is he in?"

"Let me see." With a flourish Dracomir pulled out his wand and invoked a locator spell. "Ah. North. Definitely North, with a dash of downwards." He turned slowly, holding his wand out like the needle of a compass.

I could describe to you in detail the many adventures and mishaps they encountered as they travelled the length and the breadth of the Palace/Casino, following the ever changing directions of the wand. But that would take a long time and a lot of narration. Instead, I offer you this:

"Watch out for that wall."

"Are you sure that's the right way?"

"Maybe it's broken."

"Do you like cats? I like cats."

"That orc just looked at us funny. I'll be right back."

"You know, the nice thing about black leather is that orc blood doesn't show up."

"Well you can't go there, obviously there can't be a secret, hidden entryway behind that majestic tapestry depicting the Battle of TiG XV."

"I told you so."

"Maybe we should stop and ask directions?"

And so on, until Dracomir invoked a Good God will that woman never shut up? muting spell.

They wandered for an even more intensely boring length of time in silence (or, at least, Dracomir didn't hear what Skittles was saying) until finally a merciful end was put to the madness. "We are getting close, now, quite close," said Dracomir with excitement, as the wand began to beep and its tip blinked red. (Or maybe it only did that in Skittles' warped perception.)

"Yes, yes, I can almost pinpoint his exact location now, he's...." Dracomir spun around and, in the process, poked Roggie in the stomach.

Roggie let out a roar, singing Dracomir's pale locks and marring his porcelain complexion. Then he seized the wand between his thumb and forefinger and snapped it in two. Then he crumbled each section into a fine powder and sprinkled it over the stunned Dracomir.

Then he gave the pseudo-Gondorian ambassador not a second glance nor another moment's thought, turning to Skittles instead. "There you are," he roared. "I've been looking all over for you. Come with me!"

They departed for the undoubtedly complex and deeply cavernous labyrinth once more, in a cloud of fire and ash.

At that moment, or actually, a couple moments before, a rift in the space-time continuum occurred. Such things happened quite a lot after those daft Wizards created the Dweomer, and at any moment strange things such as this were prone to happen. Quite simply put, at the moment Roggie seized Dracomir's wand, the current reality split into two separate entities, and went their separate ways, totally unbeknownst to each other.

In one reality, Roggie snapped Dracomir's wand in two. In the second reality, all he did was forcefully poke Dracomir in the stomach and then rap him on the head. In both realities, he then gave the pseudo-Gondorian ambassador not a second glance nor another moment's thought, turning to Skittles instead. "There you are," he roared. "I've been looking all over for you. Come with me!"

What happened to these two realities, separated at birth? Well, in the first reality, the one in which Dracomir lost his wand, Dracomir quit both wizarding and ambassadoring, (devastated by the loss of his wand) and took up hair-styling in Hollywood. The negotiations continued without him. Eventually the negotiations failed (when the remaining Gondorians were slaughtered by Roggie and his warlordess) and so Gondor and Mordor went to war. The casualties were high. Eventually flames engulfed Middle-earth, and the world ended.

So, let's follow the second reality, the one in which Dracomir got a poke in the tummy and a rap on the head, then was left standing in the hall with his wand and his bruises, while Roggie and Skittles departed for the undoubtedly complex and deeply cavernous labyrinth once more, (once more), in a cloud of fire and ash.

[Boromir88]

"You! Guard! Send a message to Lady Alli! I wish to see her at once." said Angawen to the human guard.

"We have orders to stay here and make sure that you don't leave." replied the guard.

"Well does it necessarily take two guards to watch over one spot?" interjected Hyarmenwe.

"Orders are orders, sir."

"But, you can obey your master's orders and still go and fetch Lady Alli. Since it doesn't take two of you guard one area."

The human guard gave in, "I'll go and get the Lady." he then turned towards the Orc guard, "You stay here and make sure they don't leave. And if they give you trouble just give them some trouble back"

The Orc guard grunted. He seemed taller and stronger than the typical Orc Bearugard was used to seeing. The man went to go get Lady Alli and he stopped as the Orc followed him.

"What are you doing?"

"Following you." The orc replied.

"No, no, no. I'm going to get Alli you stay here and make sure they don't go anywhere. Got it."

"Yep, you want me to stay here."

"And make sure they don't leave."

"What?"

"Make sure that they don't leave!"

"Oh, of course. I am not to leave this spot."

"And they don't leave neither."

"Who?"

"Them!"

"Oh that them."

"Yes, do you got it?"

"Clear as mud."

The man went off to go fetch Lady Alli and the Orc brute stood there watching the diplomats. Bearugard approached him. The Orc wasn't much taller than him, but the Orc clearly had been to the gym and did some weight-lifting 3 times a week.

"May I ask what are you doing?" said Bearugard.

"I'm staying here in this spot, like I'm supposed to." replied the Orc.

"Good job, I hope you get a bonus. I'll see you."

"Hold it!" shouted the Orc, "I was also told to make sure that you don't leave neither."

"You mean your orders are to make sure we don't leave?"

"Yep."

"I regret eavesdropping on your conversation, but your buddy didn't say we weren't to leave, he said them. Right?"

"I guess."

"Well, you see, we are not them. You're supposed to make sure they don't leave... not us."

"Oh, ok then, sorry to be troubling you. Go right on ahead."

"Thank you. I'll make sure to put in a good word for you."

"No problem."

"Well, come on." said Bearugard looking back to the two diplomats who were now much relieved to get passed the guard.

[Hookbill the Goomba]

How long he had been out, Smilog could not tell. His head was wobbling more than Bombur on triple cake Friday. That wine was strong stuff for sure; so strong it had knocked him out cold, or it may have been the lamp, which lay in pieces just beside him. He struggled to his feet and waddled around, stumbling and gibbering incoherently to himself. It wasn't long before he began to sing...

We Love fishing for the sea
Because it gives us lots of glee
For into the mouth of the moth we go
To find the singing toad's crow!

Oh to be a family’s mouse
Would make me look like a house!
And then I’d look at all the cats
And say to them “Bats!”

He fell forwards onto the hard stonewall. Except, it wasn't so hard. In fact he was sure it was hollow. "Wasc awll thisc then?" he slurred as he repeatedly punched the wall. After many efforts the wall opened and Smilog fell through it and landed flat on his face in a dusty passageway. The door closed swiftly behind him, as if it too did not like the look of this odd place with its strange smells. Smilog tried to stand up, but only fell down again and soon began to sleep.

When he awoke his head ached worse than the Witch King's head when Eowyn stabbed him. He stood up and looked around at the strange surroundings, it was a long corridor, dark and dingy, probably inhabited by some giant spider, knowing his luck. Slowly he followed the passage until he came to a turn. Then another. Then a crossroads. Then another. Then a turn again. What was this place? A labyrinth. "I have Labyrinths!" he cried aloud to himself.

"Don't talk-sss to me abot-ss Labyrintttthhhsss!" came a voice from around the corner.

"Who's there?" demanded Smilog walking towards the sound.

"Oh, nobody!" came the reply, "its-ss all a dream! Go to shleep!"

"If its a dream, then how could I go to sleep?" queried Smilog. There was a pause.

"Erm..." said the voice, "Its-sss a sss-strange dream. Yeah, that'll do. And I'm an invisible ghos-sst!"

"Look, I'm not here to play silly beggars," huffed the Dwarf impatiently, "and you're not an invisible ghost. I can see you... you..." he stopped as he realised what he was talking to. A large, hairy, smelly Minotaur!

"Go on!" said the creature, "run and sss-scream. Like all the others-ss!"

"Well, for a start it wouldn't be a fair chase," observed Smilog, sitting down, "I can see from here that your leg is trapped in that bucket. What's your name?"

"Name?" mused the Minotaur, "Well... erm..."

"You know, 'name'" Smilog teased, "the thing most beings have to identify themselves by?"

"I know-ss that-ss!" The Minotaur stood up and fell down again. "Tollin, is-ss my name! Tollin Gaurhoth! At your sss-service."

"Smilog, the Dwarf, at yours." he helped the creature up, "perhaps we can help each other get out of this place?" Tollin shook his head and slowly began to weep. It was odd to see such a terrible creature cry to heartily and with such sorrow. Almost like seeing Sauron himself curl up, suck his thumb and call for his mother.

"I've been here for years!" cried Tollin, "I've not found even the slightest hint of an exit!"

"Why don't we follow that sign?" asked Smilog pointing at a large illuminated 'exit' sign hanging on the wall.

"I did not ssss-see that." said Tollin scratching his head.