Betcha didn't know that Sauron is secretly a catfish/Azazel/some dead king

[the guy who be short]

I fail to see the joke. Before insulting these people, please read everything they write from beginning to end. I promise, it does all make sense. I fear for the future of this world...

Just kidding, of course! My favourite part:

The "Two Towers" featured prominently in LOTR are an allusion to the two pillars to which Azazel was chained as punishment for corrupting the world before the Flood, and of the two tower hieroglyphs in Narmer's serekh shown symbolically imprisoning the catfish. The destruction (or conquest) of these towers in LOTR was a warning that two towers would be destroyed in the near future by Azazel as part of the last stage of his freeing himself from his prison right before his takeover of the whole world.

Right. Destruction of two towers. Because that happens.

Where's Morgoth anyway?

Great read though. I laughed all the way through.