Enemies

[davem]

Scene: Edoras before the departure for Helm's Deep. Eowyn takes her brother aside for a final heart to heart....

Eowyn: You know, that's the thing I don't really understand about you, Eomer.
You're a professional soldier, and yet, sometimes you sound as though
you bally well haven't enjoyed soldiering at all.

Eomer: Well, you see, sis, I did like it, back in the old days when the
prerequisite of a Rohirric campaign was that the enemy should under
no circumstances carry bows -- even spears made us think twice. The
kind of people we liked to fight were two feet tall and armed with
dry grass.

Eowyn: Now, come off it, brother -- what about Druadan Forest, for heaven's sake?

Eomer: Yes, that was a bit of a nasty one -- ten thousand Druadan warriors
armed to the teeth with kiwi fruit and guava halves. After the battle,
instead of taking prisoners, we simply made a huge fruit salad....