The Bad LotR Fan Fic Drinking Game

[Mithalwen]

Oh I was hoping for Bag-End revisited ... with Elrond as Lady Marchmain and Elladan as Bridey Elrohir as Sebastian. Aragorn would of course have the Charles Rydey role. Eomer would be Boy Mulcaster and Eowyn his sister whose name escapes me ..... I may now have to do this for the "Tolkien by other authors" thread

[Morthoron]

Originally Posted by Mithalwen

Oh I was hoping for Bag-End revisited ... with Elrond as Lady Marchmain and Elladan as Bridey Elrohir as Sebastian. Aragorn would of course have the Charles Rydey role. Eomer would be Boy Mulcaster and Eowyn his sister whose name escapes me ..... I may now have to do this for the "Tolkien by other authors" thread

Well, we have one vote for a Middle-earth parody presented in the mode of Brideshead Revisited (in this case, Bag-end revisited), and we also have a vote for Riverdale High School (teenage Elven angst).

I have given thought to the Fingolfin's Wake title and considered that we might do it in a stream of consciousness (or in this case unconsciousness) style a la James Joyce. We won't require a plot per se, nor will we need characters (or at least, characters that make sense from one page to the next)... just a potpourri of allusions, metaphors, multi-level puns, neologisms, dangling participles and Freudian dream sequences.

No one will understand a thing we're tallking about; therefore, we shall appear deep.
And we are, are we, swoping priggily the prof's Middangeard, barrowing Mahtan's spark as the espiritu flammula did on a once ago.

[Nerwen]

Originally Posted by Morthoron

And we are, are we, swoping priggily the prof's Middangeard, barrowing Mahtan's spark as the espiritu flammula did on a once ago.

I fear this could get tiring, however.

[Morthoron]

Originally Posted by Nerwen

I fear this could get tiring, however.

I know. I got tired just writing it.

In any case, I was joking. I'm just trying to start a discussion on the overall plot.

[Ibrîniðilpathânezel]

Well, we have one vote for a Middle-earth parody presented in the mode of Brideshead Revisited (in this case, Bag-end revisited), and we also have a vote for Riverdale High School (teenage Elven angst).

If you go for the latter, it should be "Rivendale" (because you won't believe how many times I've seen it spelled that way -- and not as a typo, consistently throughout the story, which makes it obvious the writer never cracked the books, but spelled it the way s/he "heard" it in the movies. You ask why I bother ever actually reading some of this? For someone who has been both a writer and professional editor, it's like watching a train wreck. Compelling in its sheer horror... ). And it seems that a true Mary Sue is never merely Elven. They're almost always some combination of Elf/Human, Elf/Istari (almost never in the singular, mind you, I guess that i on the end must sound cooler or something), all three, or even Elf/Hobbit. Never Elf/Dwarf. A pity -- now, that could be a real source of teenage angst, an outcast even to herself, because everyone knows how terribly Elves hate Dwarves, so of course the MS would be torn between hating and loving herself, and would need the Love of A Good Elf to teach her just how Wonderful and Special she really is...

Good lord, I think I feel my gorge rising at the very thought... or a severe case of sugar shock coming on....

[Morthoron]

Originally Posted by Ibrîniðilpathânezel

If you go for the latter, it should be "Rivendale" (because you won't believe how many times I've seen it spelled that way -- and not as a typo, consistently throughout the story, which makes it obvious the writer never cracked the books, but spelled it the way s/he "heard" it in the movies.

Actually, I used the 'Riverdale' spelling because I've seen it spelled that way on multiple occasions (I've also seen it spelled 'Rivendale', as you recalled); however, the Riverdale spelling cracks me up because Riverdale High was where Archie comics of the 60's had its base. So, one can have Elf equivalents of Veronica, Betty, Reggie and...ummm...Jughead.

Originally Posted by Ibrîniðilpathânezel

You ask why I bother ever actually reading some of this? For someone who has been both a writer and professional editor, it's like watching a train wreck. Compelling in its sheer horror... ).

As a writer, English lit. major, former university English tutor and ex-substitute teacher, I am equally enthralled by horrid writing (it must be the trade's addiction). I once did an ongoing Roleplay 101 course (novel-based roleplay) on another forum for a few years, and used the most appalling examples of 'what not to do' rp'ing-wise directly from the stories on those boards. Needless to say, I never ran out of examples.

[Ibrîniðilpathânezel]

Hmm, then who's Jughead...?

Actually, you could use both names, randomly. I've seen plenty of bad fanfics wherein the author is quite unable to decide which one it's supposed to be, and certainly doesn't care one bit about proofreading. What's even more horrifying is the fact that people actually praise some of the worst I've seen as being excellent and true to canon. *shudder*