The Bad LotR Fan Fic Drinking Game

[Mithalwen]

Other than I think we should keep Jesus (and indeed his cousin) out of it .... some splendid ideas there

[Morthoron]

Originally Posted by Mithalwen

Other than I think we should keep Jesus (and indeed his cousin) out of it .... some splendid ideas there

Actually, I was joking; but I have seen Tolkien fan-fic so overtly religious that there were indeed churches and sacerdotal paraphernalia so profuse, one would think they were at the Vatican.

[Ibrîniðilpathânezel]

One could probably leave him in as a rumored figure. That rather reminds me of some of the old sandal epics in which Jesus was never seen, but there were plenty of rumors.

Morthoron, I suspect I've seen some of your work -- very few fan writers even know of the existence of the Blue Wizards, and if they do, there is often little connection between them and any kind of Tolkienian reality. I agree that farce or parody is the only route to go, since I have a feeling that those discussing this project are either writers or readers of fanfic whose computers would slag if they attempted to write a "real" MS.

The idea of Legolas' siblings is so common in Suedom, it certainly deserves a nod -- as do siblings of Aragorn, descendants of the hobbits who went off on adventures and never returned, relatives of Gimli, the rejected or runaway daughter of Denethor... you get the idea. I can't imagine a "serious" Sue writer wanting to "abandon" their beloved characters -- since it's the love of a particular character (usually because of the actor who portrayed him) that gets a lot of their juices going (at least from what I've seen). But to go to the aid and rescue of their kith and kin (who can be imagined and portrayed in all manner of wonderfully gorgeous ways...!)... That I can see, since so many Sues are long-lost friends and relatives, anyway.

[Mithalwen]

Originally Posted by Morthoron

Actually, I was joking; but I have seen Tolkien fan-fic so overtly religious that there were indeed churches and sacerdotal paraphernalia so profuse, one would think they were at the Vatican.

I thought you probably were but while I would hope not to regard myself as being particularly timorous I don't want to go there remotely. From experience can, open, worms everywhere so at the risk of seeming it have a sense of humour bypass I'll leave that rock right there and move some of the others..

[Morthoron]

Alright, enough of this maundering blather; it's time to commit our blathering to paper (in a cyber sense) and maunder indelicately through the fair fields of Eriador (or the mirk and mire of Rhovanion).

I've decided it's best to put our story (and its requisite commentary thread) in the mirth section, where our flippancy will be better accorded (after all, there's a perennial werewolf thread there already).

Any additions or comments 'ere we begin our hazardous trek?

[Lalaith]

Sorry I've been out of the loop on this.
I am loving the 'Go East' theme.
My own Sharpairien, and her camp chum Daemian, will be ready to roll characterwise soon. Of course, there will be half-sibling rivalry (we already have some other daughters of Elrond, don't we?). And campness.

I think we MUST have the Arken-Sil in there somewhere. Perhaps the pseudo-Ring is a kind of homing device to it? Like one of those things that locate your lost car-keys...
Oh and what about a lost tribe of Moriquendi, just boys, who haven't seen an elven-lass in, oh, Ages?

[Lalwendë]

I've just found this thread.

The first page was like browsing the Fantasy section in Waterstones. What does that signify?!

Mithalwen, please, please, please provide us with a pwinceth.

[Mithalwen]

Originally Posted by Lalwendë

Mithalwen, please, please, please provide us with a pwinceth.

I don't think I could improve on...

Perhaps the pseudo-Ring is a kind of homing device to it? Like one of those things that locate your lost car-keys...

My mother had one of those. Everything used to set it off - clinking against the dashboard, my aunt's voice (albeit she works on a frequency largely audible to bats). It was horrific and drove us insane. As a result an "all keys will be hung on the hooks on the hall" policy was introduced. Yes it would be a gift to burglars but you don't get everything.

Actually with so many daughters of Elrond, I think my character will be more of a Hermione Granger type. Mousy but irritatingly clever. Her get out of being Mary Sue card will be that the famous relative is Erestor....

[Morthoron]

Originally Posted by Lalaith

I think we MUST have the Arken-Sil in there somewhere. Perhaps the pseudo-Ring is a kind of homing device to it? Like one of those things that locate your lost car-keys...
Oh and what about a lost tribe of Moriquendi, just boys, who haven't seen an elven-lass in, oh, Ages?

How about a working title, pompously rendered, such as:

The Ancillarion: Of the Silmarkenstone Conspiracy and the Incidental Fellowship -- Their Trials, Tribulations, Loves Lost and Found, and Their Salvation of Middle-earth (as utterly unlikely as that may seem)

P.S. I believe the story should start at the Painted Pony (because don't all fan-fics start in Bree?).

[Lalaith]

I have to confess that I very rarely read fan-fiction, so to limber up I had a quick scan of the Daughter of Sauron thing.
I love the following:
1. That mother and daughter spend 500 years living in cosy domesticity with Daddy Sauron, in the heart of Mordor.
2. That dear old Durthren or whatever her name is, is so sanguine about Daddy murdering Mummy. "he took care of her, she could never hate him.."
3. That Elrond is her grandfather. Why? How?