The Barrow-Downs Discussion Forum


Visit The *EVEN NEWER* Barrow-Downs Photo Page

Go Back   The Barrow-Downs Discussion Forum > The New Silmarillion > Translations from the Elvish - Public Forum
User Name
Password
Register FAQ Members List Calendar Search Today's Posts Mark Forums Read


 
 
Thread Tools Display Modes
Prev Previous Post   Next Post Next
Old 05-19-2009, 01:08 PM   #31
Aran e-Godhellim
Haunting Spirit
 
Aran e-Godhellim's Avatar
 
Join Date: Feb 2009
Location: The Halls of Mandos
Posts: 86
Aran e-Godhellim has just left Hobbiton.
I found a few lines I think need fixing:

For:
Quote:
Then NA-RG-17{Flinding}[Gwindor] fiercely, though fear shook him: {1105}
I prefer:
Quote:
NA-RG-17{Then Flinding fiercely}[Fierce replied Gwindor], though fear shook him: {1105}

For:
Quote:
of NA-SL-04{Gnomish lords}[Man and Elves] by night beleaguered {985}
I prefer:
Quote:
of NA-SL-04{Gnomish lords}[the Noldorim] by night beleaguered {985}

And for:
Quote:
and NA-RG-18{Flinding}[his friend] there laid his flickering lamp
I would rather:
Quote:
and NA-RG-18{Flinding}[Gwindor] there laid his {flickering}[gleaming] lamp

For:
Quote:
and NA-RG-21{Flinding}[Gwindor] go-{Fuilin}[Guilin] the feet claspéd
I prefer:
Quote:
and NA-RG-21{Flinding go-Fuilin}[Gwindor Guilinion] {the feet claspéd}[did grasp his feet]

For:
Quote:
and the names of knives and NA-RG-23.5{Gnomish}[Elvish] blades
I suggest:
Quote:
and the names of knives[,] NA-RG-23.5{and Gnomish}[Noldorin] blades[,]

And for:
Quote:
of NA-RG-07{Flinding go-Fuilin }[Guilin's son]? Shall {free}[great]-born NA-RG-07.5{Gnome}[Gwindor]
I prefer:
Quote:
of NA-RG-07{Flinding go-Fuilin }[Guilin's son]? Shall NA-RG-07.5{free-born Gnome}[Gwindor the free]

For:
Quote:
NA-RG-57{Flinding}[Gwindor] {go-Fuilin} the faithful, to his feet striding.
I prefer:
Quote:
NA-RG-57{Flinding}[Gwindor] {go-Fuilin} [his friend], to his feet striding.

And, finally (for now), for NA-SL-12:
Quote:
of Feanor}[that Finrod] founded {when they fled southward}] following Thingol;
I prefer:
Quote:
of Feanor}[that Finrod] founded {when they fled southward;}[, and following Thingol,]

Last edited by Aran e-Godhellim; 05-19-2009 at 02:22 PM.
Aran e-Godhellim is offline   Reply With Quote
 

Thread Tools
Display Modes

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off

Forum Jump


All times are GMT -6. The time now is 08:03 PM.



Powered by vBulletin® Version 3.8.9 Beta 4
Copyright ©2000 - 2025, vBulletin Solutions, Inc.