Werewolf LXXII: Now There's the Truth of It! (Game Thread)

[Eönwë]

I didn't want to be a werewolf anyway. I wanted to be... an innocent!

Leaping from post to post as they float down the mighty threads of Middle-Earth Mirth! The Kuru! The Mithalwen! The Phantom! The mighty SPM!

The smell of fresh-lynched werewolf! The mistake lynching of seers!
With my best PM buddy by my side, we'd post, post, post...

I'm an innocent, and I'm okay!
I sleep all Night and I post all day.

Rest of village: He's an innocent, and he's okay!
He sleeps all Night and he posts all day.

Eönwë: I lynch werewolves, I make up schemes,
Make accusations at a pinch.
On Day 1s I post banter
and an innocent I'll lynch.

Rest of village: He lynches werewolves, he makes up schemes,
Makes accusations at a pinch.
On Day 1s he posts banter
and an innocent he'll lynch.

Eönwë: I vote too late, I make fake lists,
I like to confuse all.
I don't always vote rightly
And follow evil's call!

Rest of village: He votes too late, He makes fake lists,
He likes to confuse all.
He doesn't always vote rightly
And follows evil's call!?

Eönwë: I post at day, PM at Night,
Choose who I want to kill!
I wish I'd been a werewolf,
just like Formendacil!

Rest of village: He posts at day, PMs... at night?
Chooses who he wants to kill?!

*leave in disgust*

Eönwë: I wish I'd been a werewolf,
just like Formendacil!


His PM Buddy: Oh, Eönwë! And I thought you were so INNOCENT!!

[Eönwë]

VILLAGE:
A wolf! A wolf! A wolf! A wolf! We've found a wolf! A wolf! A wolf! A wolf! A wolf! We've got a wolf! A wolf! A wolf! Lynch him! Lynch him!
Lynch him! We've found a wolf! We've found a wolf! A wolf! A wolf! A wolf!

FEA:
We have found a wolf. May we lynch him?

CROWD:
Lynch him! Lynch! Lynch him! Lynch him!

SALLY:
How do you know he is a wolf?

NERWEN:
He looks like one.

VILLAGE:
Right! Yeah! Yeah!

SALLY:
Bring him forward.

EÖNWË:
I'm not a wolf. I'm not a wolf.

SALLY:
Uh, but you are covered in fur.

EÖNWË:
They dressed me up like this.

VILLAGE:
Augh, we didn't! We didn't...

EÖNWË:
And these aren't my fangs. They're false ones.

SALLY:
Well?

FEA:
Well, we did do the teeth.

SALLY:
The teeth?

FEA:
And the fur, but he is a wolf!

NERWEN:
Yeah!

VILLAGE:
We lynch him! Right! Yeaaah! Yeaah!

SALLY:
Did you dress her up like this?

FEA:
No!

NERWEN and INZIL:
No. No.

NERWEN:
No.

FEA:
No.

NERWEN and INZIL:
No.

FEA:
Yes.

NERWEN:
Yes.

FEA:
Yes. Yeah, a bit.

INZIL:
A bit.

FEA and NERWEN:
A bit.

INZIL:
A bit.

VILLAGER #1:
He has got sharp teeth.

*cough*

SALLY:
What makes you think he is a wolf?

INZIL:
Well, he Night killed me.

BEDEVERE:
Killed you?

INZIL:
I got better.

NERWEN:
Lynch him anyway!

FEA:
Lynch!

VILLAGE:
Lynch him! Lynch! Lynch him!...

SALLY:
Quiet! Quiet! Quiet! Quiet! There are ways of telling whether he is a wolf.

FEA:
Are there?

NERWEN:
Ah?

FEA:
What are they?

VILLAGE:
Tell us! Tell us!...

NERWEN:
Do they hurt?

SALLY:
Tell me. What do you do with wolves?

NERWEN:
Lynch!

FEA:
Lynch!

VILLAGE:
Lynch! Lynch them all! Lynch!...

BEDEVERE:
And what do you lynch apart from wolves?

FEA:
More wolves!

INZIL:
Shh!

NERWEN:
Bears

BEDEVERE:
So, why do wolves burn?
[pause]

INZIL:
B--... 'cause they're made of... bear?

SALLY:
Good! Heh heh.

VILLAGE:
Oh, yeah. Oh.

SALLY:
So, how do we tell whether he is a bear?

FEA:
Seer dream him.

SALLY:
Ah, but can you not also seer dream an innocent?

FEA:
Oh, yeah.

IZZY:
Oh, yeah. True. Uhh...

SALLY:
Do bears hunt at Night?

FEA:
Yes. Yes.

NERWEN:
Yes, they do! They do!

FEA:
Check if he hunts at Night!

VILLAGE:
Check! Check if he hunts at Night!

SALLY:
What also hunts at Night?

FEA:
Vampires!

NERWEN:
Wizards!

INZIL:
Uh, very small rocks!

FEA:
Potatoes!

NERWEN:
Uh, Ra-racoons!

FEA:
Tigers!

NERWEN:
Bats!

INZIL:
Uh, churches! Churches!

NERWEN:
Lead! Lead!

SHASTA:
An owl!

VILLAGE:
Oooh.

SALLY:
Exactly. So, logically...

FEA:
If... he... weighs... the same as an owl,... he's made of bear.

SALLY:
And therefore?

NERWEN:
A wolf!

FEA:
A wolf!

VILLAGE:
A wolf! A wolf!...

FORM:
Here is an owl. Use this owl.
[quack quack quack]

SHASTA: *whispers* It's a duck.

SALLY:
Very good. We shall use my largest scales.

VILLAGE:
Ohh! Ohh! Lynch the wolf! Lynch the wolf! Lynch him! Lynch him! Lynch him! Lynch him! Lynch him! Lynch him! Lynch him! Ahh! Ahh...

SALLY:
Right. Remove the supports!
[whop]
[clunk]
[creak]

VILLAGE:
A wolf! A wolf! A wolf!

EÖNWË:
It's a fair cop.

INZIL:
Lynch him! Lynch him!

VILLAGE:
Lynch him! Lynch him! Lynch him! Lynch! Lynch!...











(I found the original script online and couldn't resist changing it)