legendary pick-up lines of Middle Earth - The Barrow-Downs Discussion Forum

Faramir Jones · 05-25-2010, 03:27 PM

Readers of the first poem in The Adventures of Tom Bombadil know that Tom could have been charged with assault, kidnapping and sexual harassment in his 'courtship' of Goldberry. It wasn't necessary because, according to him, he had a lot to offer:

'Here's my pretty maiden!
You shall come home with me! The table is all laden:
yellow cream, honeycomb, white bread and butter;
roses at the window-sill and peeping round the shutter.
You shall come under Hill! Never mind your mother
in her deep weedy pool: there you'll find no lover!'

Not only does he have a nice place; he can cook as well!

Aganzir · 01-07-2013, 05:15 PM

Théodred: "Hey pretty lady! Wanna come home with me and stay in my box?"

Inziladun · 01-07-2013, 05:32 PM

Aragorn: "The hands of a king are the hands of a healer, you know."

Gil-Galad · 01-07-2013, 09:17 PM

Is that the light of Eärendil you have there? Cause you have a nice butt.

Works every time.

Oddwen · 01-08-2013, 07:18 AM

Theodred: To me......ladies. Let me lie here 'til...well, you know.

Bilbo (to Smaug): Oh, you slag.

Saeros: Can I have your name? Because I've injured myself falling for you.

Thorin: AZOG.

(Any Dwarf): I am a Dwarf, and I'm digging a hole. To your heart.

Athelas: Aloe you.

Denethor: I want to oil you up and set you on fire.

Mothrandir: *flutters antennae*

Morthoron · 01-12-2013, 10:58 PM

Bilbo: What have I got in my pocket?

Morsul the Dark · 01-13-2013, 12:37 AM

Bilbo- Good morning, and by that I mean it is a good morning to be spent with you!"

05-25-2010, 03:27 PM	#1
Faramir Jones Ghost Prince of Cardolan Join Date: Oct 2008 Location: Lonely Isle Posts: 706	This actually happened Readers of the first poem in The Adventures of Tom Bombadil know that Tom could have been charged with assault, kidnapping and sexual harassment in his 'courtship' of Goldberry. It wasn't necessary because, according to him, he had a lot to offer: 'Here's my pretty maiden! You shall come home with me! The table is all laden: yellow cream, honeycomb, white bread and butter; roses at the window-sill and peeping round the shutter. You shall come under Hill! Never mind your mother in her deep weedy pool: there you'll find no lover!' Not only does he have a nice place; he can cook as well!

01-07-2013, 05:15 PM	#2
Aganzir Woman of Secret Shadow Join Date: Oct 2006 Location: in hollow halls beneath the fells Posts: 4,511	Sorry Théodred: "Hey pretty lady! Wanna come home with me and stay in my box?" __________________ He bit me, and I was not gentle.

01-07-2013, 05:32 PM	#3
Inziladun Gruesome Spectre Join Date: Dec 2000 Location: Heaven's doorstep Posts: 8,039	Aragorn: "The hands of a king are the hands of a healer, you know." __________________ Music alone proves the existence of God.

01-07-2013, 09:17 PM	#4
Gil-Galad Psyche of Prince Immortal Join Date: Feb 2003 Location: Above a Parapet Obvious exits are: North, South, and Dennis Posts: 4,734	Is that the light of Eärendil you have there? Cause you have a nice butt. Works every time. __________________ Love doesn't blow up and get killed.

01-08-2013, 07:18 AM	#5
Oddwen Drummer in the Deep Join Date: Feb 2003 Location: Next Sunday A.D. Posts: 2,145	Theodred: To me......ladies. Let me lie here 'til...well, you know. Bilbo (to Smaug): Oh, you slag. Saeros: Can I have your name? Because I've injured myself falling for you. Thorin: *AZOG. (Any Dwarf): I am a Dwarf, and I'm digging a hole. To your heart.* Athelas: Aloe you. Denethor: I want to oil you up and set you on fire. Mothrandir: flutters antennae __________________ But all the while I sit and think of times there were before I listen for returning feet and voices at the door

01-12-2013, 10:58 PM	#6
Morthoron Curmudgeonly Wordwraith Join Date: Jun 2007 Location: Ensconced in curmudgeonly pursuits Posts: 2,515	Bilbo: What have I got in my pocket? __________________ And your little sister's immaculate virginity wings away on the bony shoulders of a young horse named George who stole surreptitiously into her geography revision.

01-13-2013, 12:37 AM	#7
Morsul the Dark Ghost Prince of Cardolan Join Date: May 2004 Posts: 3,448	Bilbo- Good morning, and by that I mean it is a good morning to be spent with you!" __________________ Morsul the Resurrected

Thread Tools
Show Printable Version Email this Page
Display Modes
Switch to Linear Mode Hybrid Mode Switch to Threaded Mode