Arda Cup Football 2011

[Nilpaurion Felagund]

We interrupt this mindless blathering about numbers and fractions done by old men in a stuffy room* to bring you a true sports fan--or so he claims.
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* This statement is directed at the reports of the sogenannte ArdaCup.com Stats Report, and not the other journalists who have posted alongside it. Unless you feel offended, in which case it means you, too.

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Hi! This is the Felagundion's sports blog, here to bring you true sports journalism--none of the stats and all of the fanaticism. We'll not be doing reports on the friendlies because, quite frankly, who cares about them? True sports fan watch games where something's on the line--not some happy campfire sing-along with a football.

Now let's start with the group stages: who's most likely to get in, who might make it with luck and effort, and who gets to watch the rest of the games from the television in their hotel rooms.

GROUP A
Advance: Tirion, Doriath
Dark Horse: Himring
Out: Shire-Bree United

This is where the dream starts! Finrod, his father, grandfather and brother begin their quest for the Arda Cup by defeating the overrated Sindarin in a glorious match, and then disposing of their less talented brethren from Himring. The hobbits and men of SBU will need more than a pint after the humiliation they'll be subjected to in this group.

GROUP B
Advance: Wilderland, Misty Mountains
Dark Horse: Anduin
Out: Esgaroth

Quite frankly I can't be bovvered with this group. Fodder in the bracket stage. Next please.

GROUP C
Advance: Anfauglith, Angband
Dark Horse: Hithlum, The Downer

I don't know why they've let Balrogs join their team, but anyway, Fingolfin and company will put the fear of Eru in Morgoth and his ilk, who'll bully everyone else. Hard to judge though, since everyone has a fighting chance, even them strange ones who attract yellow cards like Nilp attracts lynchings.

GROUP D
Advance: Eregion, Gondor
Dark Horse: Eriador
Out: Barad-dûr

Another one of those fodderweight groups, I'm afraid. Only Eregion has a chance out of the group stages, should they finally find that shooting touch.

GROUP E
Advance: Tol-in-Gaurhoth, The Forest
Dark Horse: Mordor, Nargothrond

Really? You let a dragon in your team? You could have had tried harder to get Tûrin, for crying out loud! Ai, laurië lantar lassi súrinen . . .

In other news, Tom Bombadil could be the greatest player ever, or the greatest waste of player slots. But you probably already know that.

GROUP F
Advance: Númenor, Westernesse
Out: Tol Eressëa, Mithrim

In an ideal world, Tar-Míriel will get her comeuppance against her unspeakable excuse of a cousin, even if it's just in the football pitch. And to the other teams: there's this little thing called a goal. You should try getting some.

GROUP G
Advance: Valinor, Gondolin
Dark Horse: Pelóri, Beleriand

The Group of Death, as they say. But if there's one thing you can take to the bank, it's for Manwë to choke some time or another.

GROUP H
Advance: Lothlórien, Minas Tirith
Dark Horse: Minas Morgul
Out: Dunharrow

Rather boring group, unless that kinslaying chap steps up. Good wins over evil, at least in this realm, so the Tower of the Guard will defeat the Tower of Black Ghouls to come in second. (Lack of Arda-class talent will, however, lose to both good and evil. Sorry, Dunharrow)

And now for predictions on the first round of group matches:

GROUP A:
Doriath vs Tirion
Himring vs Shire-Bree United

That might be your championship match, right there! (Not the one with the Halflings, of course.)

GROUP B:
Esgaroth vs Misty Mountains
Anduin vs Wilderland

Might be exciting matches, considering the skill gaps.

GROUP C:
Angband vs Hithlum
Anfauglith vs The Downer

The bullies and their conquerors-to-be should take their games.

GROUP D:
Barad-dûr vs Eriador
Eregion vs Gondor

Will Eregion's shooters wake up in time?

GROUP E:
Mordor vs Nargothrond
The Forest vs Tol-in-Gaurhoth

Will we see Tom Bombadil? Or will we see ten players on the pitch against the Werewolves? In other news, zzz . . .

GROUP F:
Mithrim vs Westernesse
Númenor vs Tol Eressëa

Them Second Children over the First and the before-the-First, easy.

GROUP G:
Beleriand vs Pelóri
Gondolin vs Valinor

A scoreless draw, followed by a dominating performance by Valinor.

GROUP H:
Lothlórien vs Minas Morgul
Dunharrow vs Minas Tirith

Only Galadriel could turn a team with Arda-class talent into a team that might not make it out of the group stages. Had they been in a stronger group, that is.

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DISCLAIMER: The Felagundion may be a raving lunatic--reader discretion is recommended.

[Nogrod]

Angband vs. Beleriand

Both Angband and Beleriand played very controlled game on the first half, even slow. But to the joy of the audiences the game came alive on the second when Angband started to play it harder and really went for a second goal. Beleriand showed some guts kicking it up a notch after getting two goals behind, and for about twenty-five minutes the crowds were served with really good football.

Finarfin’s sons actually brought Beleriand only one goal behind and they were pushing hard for an equaliser when Morgoth and Thuringwethil ended their efforts making it 3-1 just ten minutes before the final whistle. With that both teams pulled back and just kicked the ball around for the last ten minutes.

Angband had the game in their control ending their impressive series of friendlies into a nice win. But it must be also noted that Beleriand showed again that when really going for it they are a formidable team that should not be taken lightly even by the Big Teams. Sadly they’re facing two Big Teams (Pelori and Valinor) already in the group-phase – and when the fourth team of the group is the always dangerous side of Gondolin, the chances of Beleriand to qualify aren’t too high. But they’re not nonexistent.

Angband 3-1 Beleriand
tot shots 13-10
on target 7-4
GOALS:
*25, 1-0 Thuringwethil (Ulfant)
*54, 2-0 Ancalagon (Telvildo)
*78, 2-1 Aegnor (Angrod)
*80, 3-1 Thuringwethil (Morgoth)
YELLOW CARDS:
*Angband- Morgoth, Ancalagon, Balrog #3
*Beleriand- Daeron, Aegnor


Anfaughlith vs. Mithrim

There’s not much to tell one’s grandchildren of the friendly between Anfaughlith and Mithrim. The difference in the relative quality of the teams was clear and as there were many good friends and relatives in the field on both sides they played quite clean and easy.

No one in their right minds is going to bet on behalf of team Mithrim to qualify from their tough group F. Tuor just hasn’t enough talent around him to build a team that could compete at this level. Anfaughlith on the other hand is looking very strong and looks like qualifying from group C – but teams Hithlum and Downer are no push-overs so that is left to be seen.

Anfaughlith 2-0 Mithrim
tot shots 13-8
on target 7-4
GOALS:
*18, 1-0 Maeglin (Gothmog)
*31, 2-0 Maeglin (Ecthelion)
YELLOW CARDS:
*Angfauglith- Rochallor, Azaghal
*Mithrim- Morwen, Grithnir, Brodda


Dorriath vs. Nargothrond

Even if it was a friendly game between teams Doriath and Nargothrond most people talked about it as a “rematch” between Túrin and Glaurung. But surprisingly Glaurung obeyed Finduilas’ orders not to get into it with Túrin – and on the other side Melian and Thingol had persuaded Beleg and Húrin to talk sense to Túrin as to take it cool. And to a great disappointment of many, there was no clash between the two – even if they both got booked from unsportsmanlike conduct using unsuitable language calling each other with some pretty harsh terms not suitable for this kind of a family-friendly site. Seeing their star-players were accepting not to run for each others’ throats (or bellies), the feelings relaxed and the two teams played a very friendly game indeed.

Doriath took a clean two-goal lead on the first half and then fell back playing low-effort team defense for the second half, but somehow it seemed Finduilas was not into making an effort to even the game. Being asked after the game about their reluctance to go for full attack when their opponents fell back on the second half Finduilas only said that they were already concentrating on the group-phase and needed to conserve energy to those matches.

Sadly one doesn’t qualify from the group-phase with concentration in the future only.

Doriath 2-0 Nargothrond
tot shots 13-7
on target 8-3
GOALS:
*27, 1-0 Eol (Melian)
*42, 2-0 Turin (Hurin)
YELLOW CARDS:
*Doriath- Mablung, Turin
*Nargothrond- Glaurung, Baran


Esgaroth vs. Valinor

Esgaroth hasn’t been the worst team what comes to scoring (even if it hasn’t been flashing either), but they have a real problem keeping their own sheet clean. The friendly game against Valinor was no different. Knowing it was their final tune-up both teams played straight up during the first half and went to their lockers for half time the scoreboard showing numbers 3-1 to Valinor.

The game practically over both teams eased up their game and more or less just kicked the ball around almost practice-style willing to avoid injuries and conserving their energies to the first games of the group-phase.

A clean win to Valinor from a side a few levels weaker: nothing flashing in their performance, but a good game. Arien’s and Yavanna’s good performances must have delighted Tulkas as thus far the scoring has been too much the responsibility of Miriel and Nerdanel alone.

As for Esgaroth, they really need to find a solution to their classless defense. Being able to score once in every game is not going to help if you give up three goals.

Esgaroth 1-4 Valinor
tot shots 6-17
on target 3-10
GOALS:
*16, 0-1 Olwe (Nerdanel)
*23, 1-1 Girion (Bard)
*33, 1-2 Miriel (Yavanna)
*38, 1-3 Arien (Nerdanel)
*79, 1-4 Arien (Yavanna)
YELLOW CARDS:
*Esgaroth- Galion, Mayor
*Valinor- Olwe


Gondolin vs. Himring

Brothers Turgon and Fingon agreed that going into the tournament their teams ought to have a real test, so they played the game in near tournament form from beginning to end. And in that game Himring reminded the whole footballing crowds of Arda that it would be very unwise to forget them when doing betting on the results.

Fingon the Valiant aided by four sons of Fëanor led by Maedhros and supported by a bunch of easterlings showed some real quality football and took an earned victory. Why is it that big deal? Well, it is still worth reminding that the team Gondolin consist of half the team Vinyamar, last season’s silver-medalists, a few champion’s from last year’s team Gondolin added with Turgon himself. So it was no small feat, even if Gondolin has been somewhat underperformers in the friendlies thus far.

Gondolin 1-2 Himring
tot shots 13-11
on target 7-6
GOALS:
*36, 0-1 Maedhros (Fingon)
*52, 0-2 Bor (Maedhros)
*73, 1-2 Turgon (Thorondor)
YELLOW CARDS:
*Gondolin- Thorondor, Egalmoth
*Himring- Uldor, Ulfast


Hithlum vs. Tirion

It seemed clear both teams had agreed on giving their offenses and keepers some real practice and thus both teams concentrated on attack – and what great fun it was for the crowds to watch six beautiful goals made in one game – and that despite the keepers performing actually pretty well.

Curufin and Celegorm were on top shape once again as Hithlum played in an offensive fashion. But Aredhel and Granpa’ Finwë shined as brightly, the latter showing his grandchildren that the old bones are still working.
Hithlum seems to have found a truly effective way to attack after the disasters of the first two games, but when they go on full forward their defenses suffer considerably. Somehow Hador should find a balance there if they wish to contest for a place in the play-offs.

Hithlum 3-3 Tirion
tot shots 16-18
on target 8-11
GOALS:
*8, 1-0 Curufin (Algund)
*12, 1-1 Aredhel (Finwe)
*15, 1-2 Finwe (Finrod)
*26, 2-2 Hador (Celegorm)
*43, 3-2 Curufin (Gundor)
*60, 3-3 Aredhel (Finarfin)
YELLOW CARDS:
*Hithlum- Aradan, Gundor
*Tirion- Caranthir, Mahtan


Mordor vs. Westernesse

Everyone knows the relationship between Mordor and the Men of the West… and it did show. Even if officially named as one, this was no friendly game. Far from it.

Mordor went for it very aggressively from the beginning trying to rough their way through and scare their Dúnedain rivals. But that tactics was totally counterproductive as Westernesse played both a focused and disciplined game showing no fear whatsoever. More or less blinded by their wrath team Mordor wasn’t getting anything done while Westernesse put up three well-executed goals on the first half.

The intensity of the game did fall a notch for the second period until Grishnak roughed Elendil down in quite an ugly manner. Grishnak got his second yellow from that and was shown the red card. Westernesse retaliated the smart way pressing forwards the last minutes producing one more goal to them.

With one more sovereign performance on their belt team Westernesse looks even stronger than earlier while team Mordor clearly has a leadership-problem: they’d need someone to organize them and focus on playing the game. As said earlier, it seems Nazgul #7 seems not ready to fill the boots of Sauron and Shelob and Watcher are no team-minded persons anyway to take the lead.

Mordor 0-4 Westernesse
tot shots 6-16
on target 2-9
GOALS:
*19, 0-1 Ar Pharazon (Elros)
*31, 0-2 Ar Adunakhor (Tar Minastir)
*35, 0-3 Ar Pharazon (Tar Telperien)
*83, 0-4 Elros (Hyarmendacil)
YELLOW CARDS:
*Mordor- Gorbag, Grishnakh, Nazgul #4, Snaga, Nazgul #6
*Westernesse- Hyarmendacil, Elendil
RED CARDS:
*Mordor- Grishnakh (76, second yellow)

[the phantom]

The men of Rohan have no love for Sauron, and so it was that from the beginning Dunharrow appeared to be trying to rough up Sauron and his Wilderland squad. Unfortunately, all it did was arouse the wrath of a quality side that was planning on just kicking it around.

After getting serious and putting up two goals Wilderland played ball control through the rest of the half. To start the second half Wilderland pushed again and gained a third goal. After that Dunharrow actually stopped with the bruising attempts and played some offense, but the Wilderland defense staved them off.

Dunharrow 0-3 Wilderland
tot shots 7-14
on target 2-9
GOALS:
*7, 0-1 Sauron
*22, 0-2 Smaug (Bolg)
*55, 0-3 Khamul (Radagast)
YELLOW CARDS:
*Dunharrow- Theoden, Snowmane, Helm, Walda
*Wilderland- Khamul, Smaug, Great Warg

The matchup of the sea-realms was an absolute snoozer for scoring fans. The Dunedain and the Lonely Isle both were keen to save their energy for group play and didn’t wish to reveal any set plays, and that combined with their stellar defensive talent and teamwork made for a no-goal game.

Numenor 0-0 Tol Eressea
tot shots 7-9
on target 3-4
GOALS:
YELLOW CARDS:
*Numenor- Tar Elendil
*TolEressea- Osse, Voronwe

Pelori came in prepared to kick it around and get on to the tournament, but The Downer went after them and thanks to a successful box-swarming took the lead. In the second half Pelori did a fine job of building attacks carefully with some nice passing and pulled even with The Downer, and they also started pushed back against the underhanded Downers, and The Downer seemed a bit cowed by their display of power. Soon Pelori had the lead, and Manwe called off the dogs and ran the clock down.

Pelori 2-1 The Downer
tot shots 10-9
on target 5-6
GOALS:
*24, 0-1 Peter Hampton (Lalwende)
*58, 1-1 Eonwe (Ilmare)
*77, 2-1 Varda (Irmo)
YELLOW CARDS:
*Pelori- Irmo, Nahar, Varda
*Downer- Morsul, Alien, Soap Pope, Peter Hampton

Neither the hobbits nor the Werewolves came in giving full effort, but Werewolves are just a nightmare match-up for hobbits and Tol In Gaurhoth found themselves an easy three goal lead by the half.

In half #2 the Shire-Bree defense thought they’d get a bit grab-happy and throw in some sly tripping. NogWolf encouraged the team to just put up with it as they were easily tough enough to take it, but the football diva PhantomWolf demanded another score as punishment, as he was most displeased with having his jersey grabbed and stretched. "They aren't showing me proper respect!"

Most of the Wolves were sporting enough not to give him the ball, but SallyWolf was completely on the same page and made a successful run with him to give a four goal lead, and to add injury to insult both drew cards soon after for hard fouls against Bill the donkey.

Shire-Bree suddenly retreated into their shells soon after, leaving many fans puzzled, but after the contest rumors emerged that PhantomWolf threatened to eat Bill the donkey if Shire-Bree didn’t fold. Investigations are pending.

Shire-Bree United 0-4 Tol In Gaurhoth
tot shots 5-15
on target 2-9
GOALS:
*9, 0-1 NerWolf (InzilWolf)
*15, 0-2 GwathWolf (SkipWolf)
*41, 0-3 NerWolf (GaladWolf)
*58, 0-4 PhantomWolf (SallyWolf)
YELLOW CARDS:
*SBUnited- Ferny, Lumpkin, Harry
*TIG- GwathWolf, SallyWolf, PhantomWolf