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King's Writer
Join Date: Jul 2002
Posts: 1,721
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Ofen enough in this thread we mentioned that this chapter need to be updated. The reason for this is the observed differences between what is included so fare in our editing the greatly changed story line as seen in the Shibboleth. But before we do this it seems necessary to collect here changes done to the text as it stands now, that have not been mentioned in this thread. This might have had different reason, either these changes were added while discussing other chapters, or I myself did them silently without mention here, for which, if it was the case, I apologise.
In the following I will mention all the changes that are not included in my expanded draft from "posting 42".
Some of these have been discussed above and in this cases I give a link to the first post in which they occur.
DoV-UM-02.1 / DoV-FM-03.5: This change was added by Maedhors in "posting 48". But since it is not in the section ‘Of the Feanor and the Unchaning of Melkor’ but in ‘Of Finwe and Miriel’ I will change the editing marker to DoV-FM-03.5.
DoV-UM-02.2 / DoV-UM-02.5A; DoV-UM-02.5 / DoV-UM-02.5B; DoV-UM-02.7 / DoV-UM-02.5C; DoV-UN-00.5 / DoV-UN-00; DoV-DV-11 and DoV-FM-08: These changes were all supposed by Maedhros in "posting 44".
Nobody ever commented on DoV-FM-08. But I think that was rather by accident then by propose. It seems that it got lost. And I did not add it into my working copy of the texts. Since I sopose we will take it up. I corrected this now.
DoV-UM-02.7: This addition about the father of Míriel was later removed into the chapter 6 Of Eldamar and the Princes of the Eldalië. Probably it was wrong to remove the editing marker so I reinstalled it in my working copy.
DoV-UN-00.2, DoV-UN-00.5and DoV-UN-00.7: These were probably inserted by me silently while working on my draft for 12 Of the Flight of the Noldor, again my apologies for that. Re-reading it now I would also like to change the placement. It might fit better one and a half § earlier, since their it does not break the line of story telling as much:
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§51 Thus ere the Valar were aware, the peace of Valinor was poisoned. The Noldor began to murmur against them and all their kindred; and many became filled with vanity, forgetting how much of what they had and knew came to them in gift from the Valar. DoV-UN-00.2 <UT
Galadriel and her brother Finrod were the children of Finarfin, the second son of Indis. Finarfin was of his mother's kind in mind and body, having the golden hair of the Vanyar, their noble and gentle temper, and their love of the Valar. As well as he could he kept aloof from the strife of his brothers and their estrangement from the Valar, and he often sought peace among the Teleri, whose language he learned. He wedded Eärwen, the daughter of King Olwë of Alqualondë, and his children were thus the kin of King Elu Thingol of Doriath in Beleriand, for he was the brother of Olwë; and this kinship influenced their decision to join in the Exile, and proved of great importance later in Beleriand. Finrod was like his father in his fair face and golden hair, and also in noble and generous heart, though he had the high courage of the Noldor and in his youth their eagerness and unrest; and he had also from his Telerin mother a love of the sea and dreams of far lands that he had never seen. Galadriel was the greatest of the Noldor, except Fëanor maybe, though she was wiser than he, and her wisdom increased with the long years.
Her mother-name was Nerwen ("man-maiden"), and she grew to be tall beyond the measure even of the women of the Noldor; she was strong of body, mind, and will, a match for both the loremasters and the athletes of the Eldar in the days of their youth. Even among the Eldar she was accounted beautiful, and her hair was held a marvel unmatched. It was golden like the hair of her father and of her foremother Indis, but richer and more radiant, for its gold was touched by some memory of the starlike silver of her mother; and the Eldar said that the light of the Two Trees, Laurelin and Telperion, had been snared in her tresses. Many thought that this saying first gave to Fëanor the thought of imprisoning and blending the light of the Trees that later took shape in his hands as the Silmarils. For Fëanor beheld the hair of Galadriel with wonder and delight. He begged three times for a tress, but Galadriel would not give him even one hair. These two kinsfolk, the greatest of the Eldar of Valinor, were unfriends for ever.
Galadriel was born in the bliss of Valinor, but it was not long, in the reckoning of the Blessed Realm, before that was dimmed; and thereafter she had no peace within. For in that testing time amid the strife of the Noldor she was drawn this way and that. She was proud, strong, and selfwilled, as were all the descendants of Finwë save Finarfin; and like her brother Finrod, of all her kin the nearest to her heart, she had dreams of far lands and dominions that might be her own to order as she would without tutelage. Yet deeper still there dwelt in her the noble and generous spirit of the Vanyar, and a reverence for the Valar that she could not forget. From her earliest years she had a marvellous gift of insight into the minds of others, but judged them with mercy and understanding, and she withheld her goodwill from none save only Fëanor. In him she perceived a darkness that she hated and feared, though she did not perceive that the shadow of the same evil had fallen upon the minds of all the Noldor, and upon her own.>
DoV-UN-00.5 <UT She did indeed wish to depart from Valinor and to go into the wide world of Middle-earth for the exercise of her talents; for {"}being brilliant in mind and swift in action she had early absorbed all of what she was capable of the teaching which the Valar thought fit to give the Eldar,{"} and she felt confined in the tutelage of Aman. This desire of Galadriel's was, it seems, known to Manwë, and he had not forbidden her; but nor had she been given formal leave to depart. Pondering what she might do Galadriel's thoughts turned to the ships of the Teleri, and she went for a while to dwell with her mother's kindred in Alqualondë. DoV-UN-00.7{There she met Celeborn, who is here again a Telerin prince, the grandson of Olwë of Alqualondë and thus her close kinsman. Together they}There she planned to build a ship and sail in it to Middle-earth; and {they were}she was about to seek leave from the Valar for {their}her venture.
> Fiercest burned the new flame of desire for freedom and wider realms in the eager heart of Fëanor; and Melkor laughed in his secrecy, for to that mark his lies had been addressed, hating Fëanor above all, and lusting ever for the Silmarils. But these he was not suffered to approach. For though at great feasts Fëanor would wear them blazing upon his brow, at other times they were guarded close, locked in the deep chambers of his hoard in Túna. There were no thieves in Valinor as yet; but Fëanor began to love the Silmarils with a greedy love, and grudged the sight of them to all, save to his father or to his sons. Seldom he remembered now that the light with which they were lit was not his own.
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DoV-RS-05: This over long footnote was inserted by me. I think in response to a discussion here where we talked about the Finwe and Miriel stuff. But anyhow it must be discussed here in which from to include it.
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§10 'Darkness and blood! When we could move again we came to the house. There we found the king slain at the door. His head was crushed as with a great mace of iron. DoV-RS-05 <FM2; follwing Note 3 [Footnote to the text: {In that evil time}When Finwë was slain by the Marrer himself, and his body was burned as by lightning stroke and was destroyed. Then Míriel and Finwë met again in Mandos, and lo! Míriel was glad of the meeting, and her sadness was lightened; and the will in which she had been set was released.
And when she learned of Finwë all that had befallen since her departure (for she had given no heed to it, nor asked tidings, until then) she was greatly moved; and she said to Finwë in her thought: 'I erred in leaving thee and our son, or at the least in not soon returning after brief repose; for had I done so he might have grown wiser. But the children of Indis shall redress his errors and therefore I am glad that they should have being, and Indis hath my love. How should I bear grudge against one who received what I rejected and cherished what I abandoned. Would that I might set all the Tale of our people and of thee and thy children in a tapestry of many colours, as a memorial brighter than memory! For though I am cut off now from the world, and I accept that Doom as just, I would still watch and record all that befalls those dear to me, and their offspring also. {[Added: }I feel again the call of my body and its skills.{]}'
And Finwë said to Vairë: 'Dost thou hear the prayer and desire of Míriel? Why will Mandos refuse this redress of her griefs, that her being may not be void and without avail? Behold! I instead will abide with Mandos for ever, and so make amends. For surely, if I remain unhoused, and forgo life in Arda, then his Doom will be inviolate.'
'So thou may deem,' answered Vairë; 'yet Mandos is stern, and he will not readily permit a vow to be revoked. Also he will consider not only Míriel and thee, but Indis and thy children, whom thou seemest to forget, pitying now Míriel only.'
'Thou are unjust to me in thy thought,' said Finwë. 'It is unlawful to have two wives, but one may love two women, each differently, and without diminishing one love by another. Love of Indis did not drive out love of Míriel; so now pity for Míriel doth not lessen my heart's care for Indis. But Indis parted from me without death. I had not seen her for many years, and when the Marrer smote me I was alone. She hath dear children to comfort her, and her love, I deem, is now most for Ingoldo. His father she may miss; but not the father of Feanaro! But above all her heart now yearns for the halls of Ingwë and the peace of the Vanyar, far from the strife of the Noldor. Little comfort should I bring her, if I returned; and the lordship of the Noldor hath passed to my sons.'
But when Mandos was approached he said to Finwë: 'It is well that thou desirest not to return, for this I should have forbidden, until the present griefs are long passed. But it is better still that thou hast made this offer, to deprive thyself, of thy free will, and out of pity for another. This is a counsel of healing, out of which good may grow.'
Therefore when Nienna came to him and renewed her prayer for Míriel, he consented, accepting the abnegation of Finwë as her ransom. Then the fëa of Míriel was released and came before Manwë and received his blessing; and she went then to Lóriën and re-entered her body, and awoke again, as one that cometh out of a deep sleep; and she arose and her body was refreshed. But after she had stood in the twilight of Lóriën a long while in thought, remembering her former life, and all the tidings that she had learned, her heart was still sad, and she had no desire to return to her own people. Therefore she went to the doors of the House of Vairë and prayed to be admitted; and this prayer was granted, although in that House none of the Living dwelt nor have others ever entered it in the body. But Míriel was accepted by Vairë and became her chief handmaid; and all tidings of the Noldor down the years from their beginning were brought to her, and she wove them in webs historial, so fair and skilled that they seemed to live, imperishable, shining with a light of many hues fairer than are known in Middle-earth. This labour Finwë is at times permitted to look upon. And still she is at work, though her name has been changed. For now she is named Fíriel, which to the Eldar signifies 'She that died', and also 'She that sighed'. As fair as the webs of Fíriel is praise that is given seldom even to works of the Eldar.]> We found no others: all had fled, and he had stood alone, defiant. That is plain; for his sword lay beside him, twisted and untempered as if by lightning-stroke. All the house was broken and ravaged. Naught is left. The treasuries are empty. The chamber of iron is torn apart. The Silmarils are taken!'
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As said above this post was meant to comment on the state the chapter has right now, not to start the discussion of how to rework it according to the story linie in Shibboleth.
Respectfully
Findegil
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10-02-2017, 02:09 AM
Hybrid Mode
