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Visit The *EVEN NEWER* Barrow-Downs Photo Page |
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#1 | |
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Quentingolmo
Join Date: Aug 2017
Posts: 525
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I have another inclusion from The Sources of the Legend of Isildur's Death:
Quote:
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#2 |
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King's Writer
Join Date: Jul 2002
Posts: 1,721
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ETA-SL-03.9: Agreed.
Respectfully Findegil |
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#3 | |
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Quentingolmo
Join Date: Aug 2017
Posts: 525
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One more addition for the very end of this chapter after the current last sentence:
Quote:
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#4 |
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King's Writer
Join Date: Jul 2002
Posts: 1,721
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ETA-SL-26: I am not happy with this addition. Even so it is ‘many years later’ The New Shadow is still in ‘the day of old’, at least from our and our potential readers perspective. And as we have old Borlas in that tale (at least at the beginning, that we have) the recorded event in the The New Shadow are not far in the future at the time when Legolas and Gimli left and Arwen died.
Anyhow the sentence is more true as it stands, since the death of Arwen is probably later then the journey of Legolas and Gimli, even so we record it in a changed sequence. Respectfully Findegil |
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#5 |
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Quentingolmo
Join Date: Aug 2017
Posts: 525
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Would you recommend that it be put (in some modified form) at the end of The New Shadow? Or simply removed entirely?
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#6 |
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King's Writer
Join Date: Jul 2002
Posts: 1,721
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Modifying it in a way that it would be useable at the end of 'The New Shadow' is using JRR Tolkiens words forming a fan-fictional sentence. I think we have to leave it out.
Respectfully Findegil |
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#7 | |||||||
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Wight
Join Date: Mar 2014
Posts: 121
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Another good chapter! Looking through this thread, I can see the chapter went through lots of changes for the better. I only have a few minor comments:
1) Regarding the Blue Wizards, this chapter states: Quote:
Quote:
2) ETA-SL-03.9 feels out of place: Quote:
3) Quote:
4) Typos: Quote:
Quote:
5) I haven't read "The New Shadow" chapter yet, but I think Arcus' suggestion for the ending makes sense. Something like: Quote:
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